Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that. It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece. I strongly recommend anyone...
From: XMAN (****@flashcom.net)
Subject: there it was
Upon entering the house from a long day in school I
quickly noticed the brown box against the wall. Monday
you said it was to go out. I figured I had another 3 days
to wait and yet there it was laying on the floor all
alone. I checked the tag and I saw my name and the
familiar Game Revolution. I wanted to shout, bang on
the walls, or what ever just to get the attention of
my neighbors; that the day has come for me to play the
With $15 in my pockets I quickly went out and went to
Holliwood Videos to rent the highly praised SSX. Superb!
I'm shaking as I speak. Thank you once again for this
incredible machine. Game Revolution will forever be
branded on my browser's bookmark list.
Bless your soul. Amen. YES!
What the @#$%!! I
thought I properly rigged that darn contest so I'd...uh..er...uhhh nevermind.
Well, there you have it,
folks. Some lucky reader actually did win our PS2 contest.
We know that many of you
wanted to win this thing really badly, so to be fair, we're going to
auction off Xman's home address so you can go over to his house, beat
him up and take it away.
Bidding starts at 5 bucks.
Do I hear 6?
Step Into the Arena!
From: "J Rivera" (********@kscable.com)
Subject: Can a get a job
Hey i can do what u guys do and prolly better. Let me
get a job as a reviewer. Ill take on your best damn video
game player and beat his ass in just about any game for
a job. So let me kown if i can get a job.
"The kid that needs a job"
You know what? You're "prolly"
P.S. You want to test your
video gaming mettle against the mighty GR? Ok!
The game is multi-player
Rune. Our name: Sal MagicPants.
If you can defeat The Pants, you win! But not a job.
It could be anything from
one of Brian's hair follicles to a Playstation 2*.
So prepare to brandish that Viking Bastard Sword
and defend yourself, because Sal is taking trophies: Namely, your
2 refers to a picture of a Playstation 2. We're not miracle workers.
You know how hard those things are to find?
We Represent The Lollipop Guild
From: Eric Baker (****@prodigy.net)
Hi. I usually like your mailbag, but when I read
your answer to the person in Kansas,
that really got me mad. Myself not being a Kansan
by blood, I would normally laugh at stuff like that,
but your answer was so ignorant and tasteless that I
don't see how anyone could laugh at it. I live in Wichita,
Kansas, and I can tell you most of those 500,000 people
in Wichita don't like stupid, mindless jokes about The
Wizard of Oz directed toward them. If you think you were
being funny, you weren't. And in fact, if you've even seen
the movie or read the book, DOROTHY was from Kansas, not
the munchkins,and the munchkins didn't click their heels
and they certainly WEREN'T magical. I've also noticed you
guys doing this to a lot of other places. I don't care if
it's Kansas, Canada, or Outer Mongolia, it's still
mindless humor that's funny only to those who wrote it.
You have no right or reason to make fun of any place.
And don't reply to this with a cynical, sarcastic answer.
What the heck are you talking
about? The Wizard of Oz is offensive? Munchkins?
Mongolia? We're confused.
Here's a tip: Next time you
watch the adventure of Dorothy and her pals, lay off the LSD.
It's a completely different movie.
The Truth is Out There!
From: "???" (*****@aol.com)
Subject: Playstation 2 Question
I heard that the Playstation 2 needs another chip for
it to work properly, and this chip is expensive when it
needs to be installed. Is this true? Does it need
Hey Mr. Anonymous,
We have found that yes, the
Playstation 2 is missing a key component in order for it to work properly.
For all the vaunted, technological mysticism that was put into the development
of the system, there has been an omission of paramount severity:
Will Metal Gear Solid
2: Sons of Liberty be the only game to set a new precedent?
Since we're such irrepresable
optimists, we have 50 bucks that says it won't be. Who wants in?
P.S. All bets lost by GR
will be paid in full, provided you know the secret word.
DVD Player or Cobra Commander's New Weapon of Destruction?
From: "Joshua of Alabama" (*******@aol.com)
Subject: PS2 has done a boo-boo
I have a PS2 that was imported and I left it on countless
hours and I discovered that the laser on the PS2 is entirely
to strong for the CD's being played. It actually burned donuts
into my games and eventually holes! Test this for yourself.
I heard that Sony knows of this and wanted to meet their
before Christmas deadline and were going to ship the good
ones to the US in March of 2001.
Please Look Over This,
Joshua of Alabama
Hi Joshua of Alabama,
Beware, innocent readers. Methinks this is a deceiving,
Over the last week, the GR
Info box has been inundated with letter after incriminating letter declaiming
Sony's new rig. Apparently, some people just want to see the PS2 fall
flat on it's non-existent face.
Obviously, the PS2 problems
that are mentioned in letters like this and the previous one are completely
If Sony was shipping a unit
equipped with a fully-functional infared laser capable of burning through
solid plastic, we'd crack it open and aim it towards Belgium.
We're notable cynics and
disbelievers here at GR, and we need proof before we believe any of
this PS2 hooey. Send us a picture or video that clearly proves the death
ray tendencies of the system, and we'll gladly eat crow.