March 2014: Buy, Try, or Die
[Update: Short List Added] A full release list for March, including Titanfall, MGS: Ground Zeroes, BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea Part 2, and inFAMOUS: Second Son.
MOST POPULAR FEATURES21 Greatest Pokémon of All Time
Can you believe there are now six generations of Pokémon? Six!! That's a crazy amount of different creatures to collect. But which are the cream of the crop? Don't worry, Magikarp isn't actually one of them.
[Yep, I flipped the image... see what I did there? Ed. Nick]
I was not originally a fan of FFVII ; in fact, I remember looking at the commercials in the '90s and finally purchasing the game only to realize the commercials only showed CGI scenes. I was young and needless to say...
From: "bob tok" (***@lti.com)
CHANGE THE MUMMY RETURNS TO B NOW
WRITE BACKPLEASE WRITE BACKPLEASE WRITE BACKPLEASE WRITE
"Mummy-say Mummy-sa mama-ku-cool!
Question: How do you make a good video game based on a
good movie? Answer: You do. Case in point, The Mummy Returns,
the latest patch of coolness to invade the PS2. It's based on
The Mummy Returns, which was based on The Mummy.
The Mummy Returns is similar to your standard, run-of-the-mill
third person action game in that there are platform elements,
puzzles, and the compulsory key quests. Where The Mummy Returns
departs from the standard is how it seems to strive to be as
cool as possible. The game's only claim to fame is the fact
that you can play as either Rick O'Connell or Imhotep. In
fairness, the characters look like their movie counterparts,
including the Scorpion King. But no matter how you slice it,
you are playing a cool character.
Rick O'Connell's combo kicks, punches, and sword attacks are
about as fluid and graceful as someone from crouching tiger
hidden drogon Imhotep uses magic to suck the soul from his
opponents a la Soul Reaver. This way cooler than it sounds.
Your location on the map is marked by a glowing icon with no
indication of the direction that you are facing. Rotating the
map only serves to disorient further.
You encounter a fair amount of enemies throughout the mummy
Revolution Report Card
+ good weapons
+ good control
+ good animation
Nice email! We don't know
whether to laugh, cry or sue the pants off you for plagiarism.
It's really swell that you
enjoyed The Mummy Returns movie and game. But it seems your affection
for the strapping young Rick O'Connell has occluded your judgement a
bit. No worries - such is the case when you've been kicked
in the butt by love.
Unfortunately, it seems you've
also been kicked in the head. The
Mummy Returns sucks bad.
From: "Carma Geddon" (***@yahoo.com)
Hello there, to all gamerevolution team
i got a question, what is the thing that you have with
the Counter-Strike game? I mean what can you see new
about that game that is 2 years...3 years old by now,
with a bad compatibility of openGL drivers because
they run slow, a 16bit color game that looks like
dirty and has 24000 servers where not one of them
works fast enough to see your opponents move smooth
like in Wolfenstein or Quake 3 or Unreal Tournament?
because you have to mention that game every new review
you do of a FPS game, its already gets on the nerves
to some people to see that kind of obcession about
counter strike. It would be ok if it would be a GOOD
game like quake or something, or maybe any other game
that is NOT 3 YEARS OLD
You gotta be kidding, right?
But on the off chance that you're serious, we'll oblige you.
For one, CS
is extremely challenging, obscenely enjoyable and it has more life in
it than just about any first-person shooter we've played so far. The
ballistics are outstanding and you use real world weapons, not a bunch
of over-the-top energy-based munitions.
Unlike the map running of
Unreal or Quake, which often involves just running from weapon spawn
to health spawn and back again and perfecting the pattern, CS is all
about strategy and teamwork.
We don't know when you last
saw CS, but it has been tweaked with relatively fresher graphics, a
ton of new maps and voice communication. Now you can call someone a
"wallhacker" in realtime audio instead of having to type.
And we can't forget the impending arrival of the highly anticipated
Zero that brings new weapons, new skins, a new class and a burly
single player component.
If you know GR, you know
we're tough on games. So for a title to hold our interest captive for
over a year says that the game is doing something incredibly right.
P.S. "It would be ok
if it would be a GOOD game like quake or something, or maybe any other
game that is NOT 3 YEARS OLD." Dear child, Quake was released
in 1996. Heck, Quake III was released back in 1999. You lose.
Eat Your Heart Out Stephen Hawking?
From: "???" (***@onebox.com)
Subject: Sup Revolutionaries
I was wondering if you guys are programers, particularly
in C or C++. If so, can you help me on my adventure to
find a certain source code. If you ever used certain dos
programs, you can add extention's onto the command.
Ex. C:>ping -x I was wondering how to add that ability
of the -x command. Do you know how to do it, or do you
know what it is called when you do it. If so, please
send me info to complete my adventure.
Rock on with the site, Ghetto Dude
Dear Mystery Writer,
Sure, we're programmers!
Once you figure out the difference between "Video out"and
"Video in," programming your VCR is a snap.
But wasn't C++ C:/>ping
-X one of George Lucas' early movies?
Signed, Pam & The Kids
From: Dee (***@woh.rr.com)
Subject: Thank you
Pam, Thank you for the blanket the family all love it.
It was nice snooping at Khols with you. good cookies
the kids are hopeing for ice tomorrow. we will see.
But thanks for the lovely jean blanket . I love it.
I knew the blanket would go over well! When you pay top dollar for jean,
you expect the very best. Glad you liked it! Yay!
So anyways, Bill was being such a meanie-pants at Khols that I thought
I was going to strangle the bastard. I mean how long was he bitching
about the price for? Like 3 days? What a jerk. I don't know why I married
that idiot in the first place.
Speaking of marriage, can
you believe that Victor is marrying that cow Margaret? What a whore!
I've seen more subtle makeup on a clown! Barf city!
So yeah, hope the kids win the soccer game tomorrow. I hear there's
a little boy on the other team who likes to wear his sister's clothes.
Have you ever heard of anything so gross? What a weirdo. His parents
must be communist lesbians.
So anyhow, yeah, hope for
some ice tomorrow too. We'll take the kids sledding, maybe? I mean,
anything to get out of the house these days, am I right or am I right?
You know? God I need a drink.
Pam.. uh.. er... GR
GR With The Assist
From: "Rage Guy" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: Windows difficulties
I've emailed you guys before about counter-strike, but
this is an entirely different matter. Windows 98 is
constantly freezing in desktop or when im using internet
explorer or netscape. A few weeks ago we had a similiar
problem, except that the computer would freeze only in
games, the only way to avoid it freezing was to reboot
the computer before you played the game, then it would
run fine. We called the company we bought the computer
from and they decided that the hard-drive was screwed,
so they took it in and replaced it. But when we got it
back we found that the computer doesnt freeze up in games
anymore, just in desktop or internet explorer or netscape.
We called the company again and they told us that all
those demos i had downloaded were causing the problem,
so I took them off. Then they told us that if our system's
resources were below 60% the computer would freeze, it
turns out that our systems resources were below that, so
we ran msconfig, and turned off a lot of that crap that
starts up when the computer boots up. We got system's
rescources up to 93%, but it still freezes. I really need
some help here, we called the company again but they said
that it had to be a software problem, which would cost a
lot to fix. I've ran scan-disk, and its found no problem.
I have an 800mhz prentium 3, with 128 mb of ram, with a
tnt 2 video card. I don't know what to do, your input
would be of great help.
Thx for reading.
To the Rage Guy,
When I press the shiny button, youse do the thing. Good! Now I don't
want anymore lip outta youse.
Sadly, this is never the
chain of events when troubleshooting your PC. Rage, in your particular
case we suggest a few different solutions.
1. Start the computer in safe mode (press F8 as it's booting
up). Once in Safe Mode, open up a few folders and check the device manager
to make sure everything appears to be working properly. Often, a driver
conflict will lead to system stalls.
2. Try running an
anti-virus program. There are quite a few that offer free trials. (ex:
3. If there's still an issue, try Disk Defragmentation. It's
found in programs/accesories/systemtools.
4. Make sure your video and sound drivers are updated. Check
out the company websites who make your sound/video cards and download
the latest patches.
5. If the problem persists, then try reinstalling Windows '98.
From the sounds of things,
we think the problem might have to do with conflicts between drivers
and your TNT 2 card. Older video cards tend to require updates.