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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437
I Don't Want to, but I Have To...
By oblivion437
Posted on 10/20/14
Well, Gamergate has spilled over into the mainstream media and the coverage appears to be nearly uniformly dreadful. Take " What is Gamergate, and What Does It Say About Gender In Video Games? " by David Konnow as an example.  It appears that the writer has done little to no...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: The GR male is in, and boy, is he sexy!

Posted on Tuesday, May 29 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
Forget Belgium. GOD Makes Them Better!
From: "ssgoku23" (***@uswest.net) 
Subject: G.O.D.
I was reading the discription of the Rune demo because after playing H.O.V., I was considering buying the full game and I saw that G.O.D. is based in my home town of madison. Would you happen to have anymore information on their location? Just curious. keep on rocking Joe
SSGoku23,

While our secret, powerufl ties to ancient evils makes us privy to knowledge beyond that of normal men, we have yet to truly discover the whereabouts of GOD.

Based in your hometown of Madison? Not likely. Our sources indicate that the elusive deity is currently residing in a shabby duplex near the Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles in Oakland, CA.

-GR

A Journey of Self-Discovery!
From: "hld21" (***@yahoo.com)
Subject: Yahoo! Auto Response
I have gone to look for my self should i return before i get
back keep me here i would like to meet myself.
Thanx a bunch
Hey hld21,

We tried to make you wait here so you could meet yourself, but you started getting all antsy and anxious and unsure if you were dressed properly for the meeting. Then you bolted off to go find yourself on your own but you were already on your way here.

Where's TweedleDee and TweedleDum when you need 'em?

-GR

Spending Money Is Lame!
From: "BlingBlingShyne1" (***@aol.com)
Subject: E3 2001 - A Spam Odyssey
i love getting great info without leaving the sh*tty 
comfort of my home to buy a weak magazine for $6.99. 
thank you SPAM!
Howdy Jaraxle,

Woohoo! GR scores points by catering to the socially deprived, agoraphobic youth.

Indeed, paying for weak print mags sucks. That's why we recommend stealing!*

-GR

*LEGAL NOTE: Game Revolution does not actually condone theft. We hold ourselves exempt from any responsibility should one of our readers attempt to steal something. It's not our fault some people are stupid. Okay fine, maybe it is. But still, don't blame us because some jerk took this joke too seriously. Instead, blame Judas Priest. They've been trying to brainwash people for years.

Our Favorite Pastime!
From: "Vaibhav Roy" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: uh hi!
i know that u guyz eat, sleep, and drink games but dont u guyz have 
nothing better to do in ure life? like go out and see the birds, the 
sun and the sky and cool off.
Vaibhav Roy 
Hi Vaibhav,

Actually, we have plenty of better things to do, such as correct your double negative problem.

Now, what is this 'birds' and 'sun' you speak of? Is that like some fancy new graphics engine? And what are the minimum system requirements to run this 'sky'? Can I buy that online?

-GR

The War Rages On!
From: "PhantmRain" (***@aol.com)
Subject: Good God help me!!
Hey GR, im in quite a dilema. I've been saving my cash up 
for quite some time to buy the PS2, but now, im utterly 
confused. I seriously dont know what i should do, get the 
PS2 now, or wait for the other next-gen consoles. I really 
dont want what happened to the Dreamcast to happen to the 
PS2 if i get it, and im pretty sure it wont, but theres 
always a possibility. You probably get this question a 
lot, but please do you guys think you should all take a 
vote or something to tell us (the gaming community) what 
your opinion is, if microsoft hasnt sucked it outa you, 
which i highly doubt for i am a loyal reader. 
-MacUser Hendee
Greetings Mr. Rain,

Quite honestly, we were hoping that after E3 no one would ask this question again. But all E3 managed to do was confuse our already cluttered brains.

All three systems look incredibly promising, with the Nintendo GameCube being the biggest surprise of the show. The bulk of their games consisted of Mario style and Starfox games, which may turn off some gamers, but the breathtaking Star Wars: Rogue Leader demonstrates the awesome power of the system from a third-party perspective. And who can beat the GameCube's MSRP of $199?

The PS2 had the largest number of games, including some very cool titles like GTA3, Stuntman and Devil May Cry, plus the promise (if confusing and uncertain) for online playability very soon. Oh, and there's always that little MGS 2 game. Frankly, we'd be totally shocked if the system went under any time soon, based solely on the fact that so many titles are currently in development and the system still has quite a buzz (unlike the Dreamcast, which never really competed).

Oddly, the Xbox was probably the least impressive of the three. The games that were there looked very promising, but there just wasn't nearly the presence we were expecting. We did, however, get our questions about Halo cleared up.

So where do things stand? Well, considering that only one system is currently available, there's no reason to start freaking out just yet. By the time the GameCube and Xbox launch in November, Sony may very well drop the price of the PS2 to better compete. We should also have a better sense of the online capabilities of the systems by then.

For the time being, we suggest holding off on purchasing a new rig unless you're really hard up for next-gen joy. The plethora of questions out there will be answered when the consoles actually hit shelves. In the meantime, enjoy the summer and go buy some PC games! =)

-GR

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