GR Mailbag: Have You Hugged Your Mail-Person Today?
Posted on Tuesday, February 20 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
|Call Me Now!|
From: "Dark Elf" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: i want to know
how do you decide to put a letter in the message
board or not? How do you decide even to ANSWER the letter at all??
|Dear Dark Elf,
In the past, deciding which
letters to use in the mailbag involved little more than random chance.
But thanks to a recent late-night GR gaming binge, we have a new formula.
And we think it's flawless.
After gathering together
all possible candidates, we focus our chakras and call upon the all-knowing,
Not only does Cleo tell us
which letters we should publish, but she also knows how to improve our
financial status and social affairs. She even knows why Brian is cheating
on his girlfriend!
Uh, scratch that last bit.
|Social Philosopher or Square Employee|
From: "Anatole" (***@go.com)
Subject: Yet another FF7 letter (how many of these
do you get anyway?) Look, I realize that this may
seem a bit disjointed to you, it would to any jaded
fat-arsed chip-covered beer-soaked Baldur's Gate
playing all-American gamer who equates the term
Role-Playing Game with pimply nerds sitting about
a table rolling dice and playing D&D. If I've told
you once, I've told you four...no...six times that
*any* system nowadays, especially the PS/PS2, needs
to be taken with a certain degree of open-mindedness
towards the Japanese and their Enlightened idea of
role-playing, which isn't quite as restrictive and
doesn't involve acne. It's not just Final Fantasy,
most other Japanese stalwarts such as the Phantasy
Stars and the Chrono's have this odd mix of
sci-fi/fantasy/wackness. You can't expect realism,
even pseudo-medieval-realism, from an RPG, or ANY
game for that matter. The fact is, FF7 was freaking
awesome, a blast to play, and a breakthrough game for
the PS1. Is it possible that maybe, just MAYBE, every
other site in the world isn't kissing up and taking
bribes from Square & Sony, that everyone else isn't
wrong, that in fact you, the wonderful Crew at GR,
are F******G MORONS for giving what is by most other
accounts one of the top 5 or so PSX games ever a B+??
I mean think about the logic here. You're putting it
on the same level, according to your site's grades,
with the immensely annoying Bust-a-Groove, the
eminently derivative Crash Team Racing, and ***Star
Gladiator***. You say it's an inferior game than (I'm
trying not to laugh at this point) Spyro 3,
Skullmonkeys, or Turbo Prop Racing. I shudder at the
thought of people with your judgment abilities having
discretion over ANY protion of cyberspace, let alone
a .com name. I mean, seriously, are you related to the
guy who told the Blazers to select Sam Bowie ahead of
Michael Jordan in the '83 NBA draft? The guy who
green-lighted the New Coke? The critics who snubbed
Citizen Kane at the '41 Oscars? I guess what I'm trying
to say is...WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?
YOU PEOPLE BLEW IT! SUCK IT UP, UPGRADE THE RATING TO
AN A OF SOME KIND AND APOLOGIZE FOR THIS OUTRAGE!
The Angry Gamer From Texas
GR just wants to address
two of the comments mentioned in the above letter.
"Is it possible that maybe, just MAYBE, every other site in the
world isn't kissing up and taking bribes from Square & Sony, that everyone
else isn't wrong, that in fact you, the wonderful Crew at GR, are F******G
MORONS for giving what is by most other accounts one of the top 5 or
so PSX games ever a B+??"
"...the Japanese and their Enlightened idea of role-playing..."
Enlightened? Oh, like Sengoku
Japan is certainly responsible
for some of the most important achievements in video gaming, without
a doubt. But calling the Japanese take on role-playing "enlightened"
is a bit, uh, short-sighted, and discredits the American take on role-playing...which
includes such unenlightened fluff as, um, Dungeons and Dragons.
Alas, we grow weary of this
continuing debate. All future FF7 matters will be handled by
|Duke On Ice.|
From: "Eric Bolam" (***@tampabay.rr.com)
Subject: hey whats up again
hey again uhh just saying hi and um oh yeah where is
your company located please write back telling me and
whats the phone number do u have one i want to talk
to duke harris or someone else
Our company is located at
the eastern end of the Mote of The Unispired, the realm where terrible
game ideas (like
this one) are spawned. GR vigilantly stands guard in an effort to
keep the waves of horrible games from stealing your money. Plus, the
Our phone # is MH-2000. At
least that's what it says on the back of the phone.
And why do you want to talk
Harris anyway? He stopped playing hockey decades ago.
From: "Guy" (***@ntlworld.com)
Subject: Web sit
can you give me a program to upload my website on or make me a
website which says made by Gael Shaw
Sure. Just go to http://www.gaelshaw.com.
Oh, is nothing there? Just keep hittng "Refresh." We're hard
at work! We promise!
|Where Are They Now?|
From: katarn (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: bleemcast shleemcast
Am I the only dreamcast owner that is getting
extremely peeved at bleem!? At E3 I was promised
an emulator to rock sony's world, but they haven't
been able to deliver. I meen, how hard can it be
to just port the PC to DC? Yes, yes, I know, porting
is a delicate subject for you reviewers. It has
proven deadly for many games like Slave 0 for DC.
The thing I am getting at is why can't they keep
their promises? Release dates are issued so we know
when to start saving our pennies for their games.
I am a student, and I have homework that has to be
done and it is assigned for wednesday. Does that
mean i can turn it in 3 monthes later? NO! I have
a ASC every day(after school crap). Does that mean
i will be doing right when i get up? NO! Bleem!
annouced that Bleem! for DC would be release for
Christmas 2000. 3 monthes have gone by and the
emulator still isn't out! It isn't like they pushed
the line back 2 monthes or anything it was like 1
month and when the deadline was within 2-3 days they
would bump it back another month! I think "Sal Magic
Pants" needs to send them to their room to think
about what they have done.
p.s. all you Final Fantasy 7 fans wanting FF7 to be
an A+...that rating is reserved for the game of the
all time. a game that reigns supreme over all others.
a game were no people dispute it's greatness. a game
that requires no review. if GR says it is an A+, then
i would shell out my few shillings to get it.
take that FF7 fans
We too would like to know
the fate of Bleemcast.
For those of you who don't
know, last year's E3 revealed Bleemcast, a Dreamcast version
of the PC software known as Bleem. Bleemcast allows DC
owners to play original Playstation games on their Dreamcast, and those
titles would benefit from the DC's superior technology. The result are
PSX games that look a lot smoother. From the examples we witnessed
at E3, it was very impressive.
Indeed, 8 months later Bleemcast
remains a myth only uttered in Junior High bathrooms, which means still
no PSX games on the DC.
The legalities surrounding
this kind of product make for a potentially long wait. However, we should
point out that release dates ain't what they used to be. If you think
Bleemcast is taking a while, just think about Daikatana,
or Giants, or the upcoming
(yeah right) Black
and White. Each of these titles had more release date changes than
you can count on two hands.
With the recent news that
Sega is going to stop producing DCs in favor of focusing on software,
we fear that the Bleemcast may never see the light of day. We
tried contacting the Bleemcast people, but they said they were
going to call us back when they had more info.
That was four months ago.