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Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...


GR Mailbag: A Holiday For The Post Office, But Not For Us

Posted on Monday, November 11 @ 12:13:14 PST by Duke_Ferris
They'll Outlive Us All!
From: "Kevin Schulte"

Subject: Have you guys heard about this?

Since you are stationed in Berkeley, I was wondering if you have heard about this. I found it in a Dave Barry column.

"This is actually happening, according to an article in the Sept. 6 issue of Science magazine, brought to my attention by alert reader Richard Sweetman. This article states that researchers at the University of California at Berkeley have been ''mounting tiny cannons on the backs of cockroaches.'' That is correct: These researchers have been outfitting live cockroaches with backpacks containing ``plastic tubes filled with explosives."

From the looks of things, you might have to set up anti-cockroach guns outside the GR complex!

Hi Kevin,

Wow! That's messed up. We knew our old pals at Cal were a little nuts, but armed roaches? Creepy. I think there's a video game idea there.

Still, it's a lot better than the horrid experiments they do at other schools. Take Purdue, who have forced their roaches into manual labor. Then there are the freaks at Virginia Tech, who tried to improve the public transportation system by way of roaches. Or how about the mad scientists over at John Hopkins, who accidentally created a Man-Roach while screwing around with teleportation.

- GR

Maybe Romero Is Working On It
From: "T. Dennis"

Subject: Reviews

How about a review on Duke Nukem Forever PS2 (not sure who makes it)? I loved the game play of the first Duke Nukem for my PS1 but hated the game play for the sequels.
Also, the racing wheel with force feedback by Intec.
P.s. - I'm still looking for a racing wheel that combines good vibration with under the legs mounting.
Thanks, T Dennis.

Dear T Dennis,

A review for Duke Nukem: Forever for the PS2 will come out as soon as they make Duke Nukem: Forever for the expect a review sometime around NEVER.

We decided they should call it Duke Nukem: Taking Forever since we first saw a build of this game at E3 in 1998. Yep - over 5 years ago, and still no word as to when it will come out. The last game that took this long?


- GR

Often Imitated, Constantly Duplicated

From: "Tom Pogo"

Subject: Copied

Hello I found on this other Gaming forum site that they have copied one of your forum names called the Misc. forum! Just letting you know!

Dear Tom Pogo,

WHAT!? Bastards! Next thing you know, someone will be copying other stuff from Game Revolution ®™, like labeling their game reviews "Reviews." Or worse yet, they might copy and paste our Daily News press releases from gaming companies, which WE copy and paste FIRST.

But as long as they stay away from the name, we'll be okay. If you find anyone else out there with the word "Game" in their company name, let us know pronto. We can't stand for that kind of intellectual infringement.

- GR ®™

Flawless Victory.

Hey GR,
Wassup fellas? I took a break from Vice City to ask this question: Can you describe the perfect game? You know how in Sports Illustrated they game the "perfect athlete" with Brett Farve's hand and Barry Sander's legs or the "perfect friday night" with a bag of Doritos (Nacho Cheesier), 2 liter of Mountain Dew and a great game. You guys have been in the review business for quite some time so, what elements would you bring together to make "el juego perfecto."

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

Hmmmm...the perfect game. Long have we pondered how to create this mysterious Frankenstein. In continuing with Sports Illustrated's quirky perfect athlete idea, we've decided to steal some key pieces from some of our favorites.

We'd call our game Bonker Jerks 4: Brains On Parade. It would be set in an enormous, detailed city like the kind featured in GTA. It would have the free form gameplay of Pirates Gold, coupled with that cool virtual reality bit from Shadowrun. It would support the use of Virtual Pants™.

You would be a zombie pirate named Captain Brains. Your task? To eat the brains of the city dwellers. After eating someone's tasty cortex, you would LEARN EVERYTHING THAT PERSON KNEW! So the more brains you ate, the smarter you got, naturally.

Then, the perfect game would throw you and your newfound smarts into a team-based first-person shooter where you had to rescue other zombies captured by terrorists or defuse an anti-zombie bomb.


- GR

Where Do You Get These Crazy Notions?
From: "Disturbing13"
Subject: XBOX fadeing

Just a tidbit of info.I knew the Xbox wasn't going to last,but now I have proof.The super chain
Walmart is very soon deleteing the games and system from the list of items carried.No more merchandise is being ordered and soon it will be gone.Once an item is deleted from inventory, it almost never returns.Could this be a sighn if its speedy demise? I can't say,but its a damn good start.


Dear Disturbing13,

Interesting idea. Also, completely wrong. That means you lose 10 points and control of the round.

- GR

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