GR Mailbag: Insanity Is Bliss!

From: "???" (******@ureach.com)

Subject: FREE!!! 
PAMELA & TOMMY LEE XXX VIDEO!!!
Are You Tired of Spending Countless Hours Searching for
Pictures of Nude Celebrities?
Well The Search is Over!!!!!!
Celebrite Nudes CD-Rom with thousands of
Different Images Plus Many Extras!!!

"...countless Hours Searching for Pictures of Nude Celebrities." Are they serious? Who spends countless hours looking for nude pictures of celebrities? Wait, don't anyone answer that.

In all honesty, we do get tired searching for nude celebrity pictures. But maybe that's because we're looking for specific, hard-to-find celebrity shots.

GR is looking for nude shots of:

Kathy Bates
Gary Coleman
Bett Midler
Woody Allen
Drew Carey
Roseanne Barr
Regis Philbin
Delta Burke
Judge Judy
and
Mickey Rooney

Believe me, the list goes on and on. It's part of a very complex blackmail plan we've concocted here at GR. Look out Betty White...we're comin' to getcha.

-GR

P.S.Oh yeah, and Jaleel White (dressed, er, undressed as Erkel from Family Matters, please).

From: "HoCkEyMuNkEE" (*****@aol.com)


Subject: hahahahahahaha
GAMECUBE?!?!?!?!?! Jesus Christ, Who are the ad wizards 
that came up with this one?!?! The first thing I thought 
of when I heard the name was "did they come out with a 
new rubix cube, liek instead instead of the box or the 
triangle they have a rectangle that can slice and dice 
and also make julian fries?" Then I saw the picture and 
I was liek it can slice and dice and make julian fries!!! 
I mean look at this thing whats up with it? It looks 
liek a juicemaker or a microwave but wait theres more 
theres a video game system in there?! Anyways i jsut 
wanted to completely rag on this new system but I do 
have one question what were the designers down at nintendo 
smoking when they came up with the design for which i 
will now call the.....Nintend-a-Juice.....I know crack 
is a widely used substance and many of ur readers seem 
to be in plentiful amounts of it but I was just 
wondering...Thanx GR and please try to write me back.
CHASE

We have been receiving many emails reporting how dipleased gamers are with the new look and name for Nintendo's GameCube. While we will remain neutral on the subject until we know more about the games for the system, we have to agree that the name sucks.

But you gotta admit, Nintendo is looking out for your best interests. After all, the lack of DVD capability means less weight - and we all know how heavy these systems can get! Plus, it's taking its internet connectivity nice and slow with the familiar 56K modem. Thank heavens! Who wants to speed through the Internet? You might miss all kinds of cool stuff! Thanks again, Mario!

And all this in a stylish fruit flavored package designed to look like the newest thing from Norelco! I wouldn't be so quick to pass judgement if I were you.

-GR

From: "Joí£o" (*****@gmx.de)
Subject: tombraider
Olí¡ I call Joí£o and have 17 years, I wanted to know as he is 
that lara sets croft naked in the game Tomb Raider 2 for 
computer, he is that I am fanatic for LARA CROFT and liked 
seeing naked make me this favor. They answer me please. 
Joí£o 

Lara has touched the loins of young men all over the world. Amazing!

In answer to your question: No, I will not give you the patch to see Lara nude, you sick little monkey!

It is immoral. It is indecent. It is disrespectful. It's...it's right here!

-GR

P.S. I wonder why no one wants our nude patch for Who Wants To Be A Millionare?

From: "???" (*****@hotmail.com)

Subject: ???
I'm a homie G in a homie F world.
I came, I saw, I laughed in your face.
Ice Man will enter your mind, and freeze your brains.

Right on, my brutha. I'm a Q-Bert in a Pikachu world.

Now please unfreeze my brain.

-GR

From: "Barry Davis" (******@bellsouth.net)

Subject: ???
your site has good down loads but other then that it sucks mom dick.

If I'm not mistaken, no mother has a penis - thus making the whole 'mothering' thing possible.

Maybe it's time for you and your mom to have the 'big' talk.

-GR

P.S. "Downloads" is one word.