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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437     In all the talk of graphical downgrades no one seems much preoccupied with 'why?'.  Why build something and then proceed to tear it down, piece by piece, in the hope that ever more diminished expectations about the final product won't be severe enough to...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: It's April and you're the Fools

Posted on Monday, April 3 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
PokeMonster Ranchermon.
From: "Claude Nasse" (*****@terntech.com)
Subject: copy-cats
I know pokemon is real big, but what's up with everyone 
copying the whole pokemon thing, I meen there's Digimon, 
moster rancher, dragon warrior monsters, jade cocoon, and 
countless others. WHEN WILL IT END?!
Hi Claude,

You seem confused. Pokemon is about the wily adventures of kids who meet and deal with random, bizarre monsters, while Digimon is about the wily adventures of kids who meet and deal with random, bizarre digi-monsters. And Monster Rancher is about breeding random, bizarre monsters to send on wily adventures. Makes perfect sense to us and we hope it never ends!

-GR

P.S. We lied. It ends when I become the Grand Pokemon Master!

The Full Monty
From: Andy Everson (*******@yahoo.com)
Subject: new game
I just read an article about a new game that has a
sexy female character, and she is entirely nude
throughout the entire game. From the boxed out
previews I saw, it looks a lot like tomb raider. I
wanted to know what you think about this, and more
importantly, WHEN CAN I GET IT?!
Hi Andy,

Well that's all fine, but the game we just can't wait for is Duke Nukem: Buff and Buffer. Yes it's true, you'll finally get to play as Duke Nukem in his full, rugged, naked glory. Run, jump, shoot, and kill as Duke shows off his rippling muscles and other 'manly attributes.' Look for the release of Buff and Buffer on April 1, 2001.

-GR

P.S. The article you read was an April Fool's joke by that magazine. It is not a real game. The stuff about the new Duke Nukem game is absolutely true, though.

Spare A Gold Ducet, M'lord?
From: ********@aol.com
Subject: U Suck
Oy, man! what's up wid your web-site?
u gave driver, that crappy little game where u drive around 
not knowing wot to do, an A! but u gave crazy taxi, that 
kool game with great graphics and gameplay, a B+!
wot? and soul calibur.....A-?
wot, that game rules! wot's up with all this crap, man?
it all crazy!
Wot? Driver was a cracker of a doozie, I'd wager ye a shilling on't. Wot?

-GR

The Cat Came Back...
From: (*******@wolmail.nl)
Subject: A question About Tomb Raider 4
Hi, my name is Tom Ellwanger I'm 14 jears old and I'm from Holland 
I'm crazy about Tomb Raider 1, 2, 3 and 4 but I have got a question 
about Tomb Raider 4
Is lara Croft really dead Because I have just finisht Tomb Raider 4 
and at the end secuence the Temple Craches in can you tell me if she 
is Really dead and if there will be an other Tomb Raider To come in 
November or December.
Thank You: Tom Ellwanger 
Hi Tom,

Lara will never die. Seriously, she's like the Terminator. We know this for a fact because we've been trying to kill her for a good, solid year.

First, we doused her in gasoline and set her aflame. Nope. Then we dropped a safe on her head, but she protected herself with a little umbrella. We tried drowning her, beating her with a broomstick, and even the good old-fashioned "drawn and quartered." Alas, she's indestructible.

Our next plan is to make her play The Crow: City of Angels for one full day, nonstop. If that doesn't kill her, nothing will.

-GR

Askin' For It.
From: "PAT SMEDBERG" (****@hotmail.com)
Subject: i new some help
hi
i went on your site and got some need for speed high stakes 
codes and a few didnt work like drive a bus and extra money
i think that the f***head that wrote that the x box is gay 
has to much time on his hands
i went to your site another time to tell you some codes for 
MLB98 and you didnt ever put them on the code list thing so 
i thought you just ignored it so i did it again and you didnt 
put it on there so e mail me if u want the code
hey dont f***en put this thing i wrote on the mailbag thing 
and rip on me like u do everyone else thanks PAT
Hi Pat,

Rrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiipppppp!

-GR

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