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The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...


GR Mailbag: The Jerry Springer Of Cyberspace

Posted on Monday, April 23 @ 16:00:00 PST by Duke_Ferris
GR Harlots Tell All
From: ??? (***
Subject: Games
How do you get game companies to send you games to play and review?
Dear Writer Incognito,

Dinner, dancing, high heels, low-cut blouses and very short skirts. Which reminds me...

Hey guys, don't forget to shave your legs before E3. I'm not bringing any extra razors.


Catch 22!
From: "Josh Bennet" (***
Subject: stop sending mail
Could you grade a Dreamcast game? Any of them? Please!?
Dear Josh,

Sure, if you could write us an e-mail asking us to do so.

Wow! That was quick. As per your request, we placed everything else (including sleeping, eating and playing Counter-Strike) on hold while we painstakingly cranked out well over 100 Dreamcast game reviews in mere hours.

Can we help you with anything else? If you ask kindly, maybe we'll even post some Dreamcast cheats.


Quit Yer Bitchin'!
From: "Ryan Wilkosz" (***
Subject: You thought we were annoying?
This isn't directed towards any members of your staff,
I just wrote it in hopes that your web-visitors might
read it.
Lately, on a lot of sites I have seen people
complaining about the people who work at
video/computer gaming retail stores. I understand
that we can get annoying asking you "are you
interested in the strategy guide for blah blah blah." 
Well sorry, that's part of our job. You thought we
were annoying? My god, do you really think that we
want to stand there and listen to the fact that you
beat all your friends at bust-a-groove or you are one
of the super elite that me MGS in two hours? Who
cares and bull$h*t are my common mental replies. 
These are the same people that come in saying "I found
out that the cheapest the Xbox is going to be is
$599.99" We don't care that you wanna date Tifa or
that your mom uses a rumble pack as a pleasure
Working at a video game store you get basically
five types of customers:
1. Actual gamers - those that respect you and talk
your ear off if need be...those that know there stuff
well enough to realize that the music from Contra is
playing in the background...The good guys and girls
2. Old people - that want a SEGA playstation, or an 
INTENDO and they think just because their
grandchildren have it on their Christmas list that we
have to have it
3. Quasi-gamers - people who think because they play
Everquest and/or knows somebody with a mod-chip that
they are one of the gamming elite
4. Sports Only gamers - those who wont be happy until
at least 12 football games are released every 6 months
5. What hole did you crawl out of gamers - these
people suck...these are the people who come in with 7
kids with dirty ratty clothes on...they could buy
their family dinner but instead they are gonna spend
there paycheck on Nascar in Heat and/or Schmackdown
Basically, all I am saying is that our job is hard
enough without a bunch of fake gamers complaining
about us trying to sell them strategy guides, memory
cards etc. 
Just a thought
Hello Ryan,

We know your job is difficult, just like ours. The industry needs retailers just like it needs reviewers.

But much of your complaining can be construed as the high-hatted, hoity-toity holier-than-thou hardcore gaming attitude some of you guys give off when you're talking to customers (or writing complaints to game sites...wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

For instance, actually coming up with the label "quasi-gamers." Last I checked, there were people who played games and people who didn't. I suppose there are some truly hardcore freaks running around (like us), but I didn't realize there were so many shades in between.

We've said it before and we'll say it again. This is the video game industry. We can't afford to take ourselves too seriously for fear of becoming as anal-retentive as the suits and sterile corporations that we fight so ardently to stay away from.

In other words...


2 For 1?
From: "SPDRACR" (***
Subject: A+ debate
I read a lot of your reviews for games and while you have 
many REVOLUTIONARY games they always get an A. Never do you 
give an A+. Its actually more annoying than anything. Its 
like you just wont tread into the "A+" territory. 
Wipeout XL, Gran Turismo, Driver, and even Final Fantasy 7 
were great games that could have gotten the A+. That's only 
the playstation list too I could go on and on about Goldeneye 
and many other games. What genre and level of greatness are 
you looking to put that big A+ stamp on (if ever)? Maybe its 
about time you give out an A+ to a game that deserves it. That's 
my only real with Game Revolution besides you missing a few game 
reviews but you guys are doing a GREAT job. Keep up the good work.
Ok Guys,

Make up your minds.


Score: Readers - 1, GR - 0.
From: Zachary Smith (***
Subject: your grading
I think u are way wrong about teh way u graded some games. 
Star craft is not B- quality it deserves at least an B+. 
And many other games have this problem. I'd like to c u make a game 
and i'll be the one to grade it just like u graded other games. 
Hey Zachary,

First, allow some clarification. We gave the original StarCraft a B, not a B-. We gave the B- to StarCraft: Brood War. Of course, you probably think both of these grades are nuts.

And in some ways, so do we. Since publishing the review, we've played the game a lot more. Indeed, it's probably a B+.

When you review games for a living, it's tough nailing 'em all on the head. We were a little too tough on StarCraft. We could blame the incredible workload at that time, or the invading clans from the North, but instead, we're just gonna blame Colin.

What grade should it get? We don't know, because we don't need to know. It's been graded and that's that. No changes.


P.S. Just relish the fact that you are one up on the GR editors. Of course, now we have to kill you.

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