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The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...


GR Mailbag: Join the Cabal!

Posted on Monday, July 31 @ 12:13:14 PST by Duke_Ferris
Pay Attention!!
From: "Tecno Beer" (*******

Subject: none Hey game revolution you said in the rant that PS2 will not be so great compared to most PCs when it is released because it only has 32megs of ram and 300mhz but i think consoles work differently then PCs, because the PS1 only had 3megs of RAM and it was making pretty good looking games for five years, and the N64 only had 8megs of RAM but it could anti-alias which a lot of PCs with more ram than that can't do. Also, what do you think of Sega's Dreamcast marketing plan, where you buy the internet service and get the Dreamcast free? I think it's kind of desperate but i hear that Sony will be doing something similar with the PS2 hard drive that's supposed to be coming out. Personally i havn't bought anything from Sega since they butt raped me with the 32X and Sega CD. P.S= I love you're game Turok and i think in the next sequel you should bring back the guys with the blood squirting out of their necks. And i want your job but the problem is I'm only five and i don't live in the north pole area.
Ah young Tecno Beer,

Your stance is quite formidable. Yet the point of the rant has escaped you, young one, like fun escaped Daikatana.

While it's true that the consoles work in a different manner than PCs, the reason the rant mentions the PS2 specs was to point out that, frankly, specs shouldn't matter when considering how well these systems will fare.

You have brought shame and dishonor to all your reading comprehension instructors.
May the plague of 1000 essays fall firmly on your head.


P.S. We don't make games at GR...but we will work very hard to try and implement your suggestion in the next Turok game we don't make.

Super Saiyan Son Nerdku Stage 6!
From: "ManMan" (*******

Subject: Wassssup question about DBZ I also have question about Dragon Ball Z do you know if any games will be made because all the games they have now suck they do not capture the series at all. Dragon ball Gt makes an effort but then plops. I would like to see one with detailed graphics with the whole dragon ball Z story from radditz until the Mayjin Buu saga. Here or some suggestion Be able to select from all of these fighter Goku(of course),Yamcha,Krillin,Tein Vegita (prince of all sayjins best in DBz to me), Trunks, Gohan, Piccolo, Goten, Cell, All the Androids, All of the Buu's, Freeza all of the Ginyu force. The game should also have the mode of play like Street Fighter Alpha 3 where you can gain new moves like Goku's dragon fist and Vegita's Big bang attack. Also have a power system where you can train to get your power level up and reach different levels of super sayjin. And also have the fusion technique. The modes of play should be VS, story, and training. The game should be totally 3-D with similar environments to that of soul Caliber but not fighting on stage but be able to fly to different areas instead of one area at a time fly to different stages that would be awesome also that has never been done in a fighting game I hate being limited to one area of play be able to PIC like the desert and end up fighting in the forest then be able to destroy mountains and rocks. Also be able to power and the clouds and stuff move and the ground shakes the stronger you are the greater your effect will be. I know this game would be a be a big hit I know there are problems with licensing but I wouldn't try to claim any rights to the game I just want to play a very well done game that finally captures the series.
Hey ManMan,

A DBZ game that finally captures the about having the characters stand face to face and yell at each other at the top of their lungs for half an hour? Oh, and one guy would keep holding his breath 'til his face turns red.

Maybe they wouldn't burst into flames so much if they had more fiber in their diet.


P.S. Can anyone tell me what the heck is up with the hair styles of these characters? Maybe that's what all the screaming and straining is about...too much mousse!

School In the Summer...No Class!
From: "minatek dozer" (*****
Subject: What the heck...
I think it was wwwaaayyy better when you guys had the
picture of tomb raider naked instead of her holding a
pillow! your a disgrace to the curious mind!
Hey minatek,

What do you think is under that pillow, a tooth or something?

Besides, it wasn't our decision. Lara was sick of people staring at her all the time. She just wants to be loved for her mind, not her body. She's a real fake person, dammit! With real fake feelings! How can you be so cold, so unfeeling, so twisted! Shame on you!


P.S. That's not a curious mind. That's just plain old lack of imagination. You'd have more fun with the Young Miss section of a J.C. Penny catalog.

GR: The House of Strumpets!
From: "????" (*****
Subject: ?????
Gr.............why haven't you called me? Are you 
ignoreing me? Look, I said I was sorry..I thought we 
wiped the slate clean.
Hi ????,, what was your name again? We uh, had to go to work, or something.

There will be no call backs. Unless the price is right.


Sales = Success?
From: Jay (******
Subject: Hi can ask u a queston
i just thought i would complain about your reviews 
simply because i have nothing better to do.
first of all, medievel 2 
got an A+ how can you justify this, it is hard to control 
and has no plot. and is even worse than the first.
then you go and give metal gear 
solid an A- when it is clearly the best playstation game 
ever released and has been recognised as this by every 
psx magazine. and it gets less than medievel 2, how is 
that possible? and the final fantasy's. how can you give 
them B's when they're the biggest selling games in 
the world evercome on 3 and 4 discs, have the most 
amount of gameplay available.and the final fantasy 7 storyline 
is one of the best. it keeps the game interesting and 
makes you want to find out what  is going to happen.
i think your reviews are very biased as to the style 
of games your reviewers likeand should give an opinion 
on the actual quality of the game and not the taste 
of the reviewer.. why do you think the above games 
are so popular? because they are the best available. 
and why do you think medievel 2 didn't sell any copies.
because it was a rushed cheap sequel that no-body wanted.
you should make changes now. i wont be returning to your 
site again
Hello Jay,

Just because a game sells well does not mean that the game is good. Dukes of Hazzard sold over 500,000 copies, and it's safe to say that anyone who liked that game was crazier than Uncle Jesse after a few jugs o' homemade moonshine.

Crack sells better than toilet paper, but which one are you gonna buy? Wait, don't answer that.


P.S. MediEvil II got a B+, not an A+. So in reality, we though that MGS was a better game. You must study the same fist as Techno Beer, the fellow from today's first mailbag entry.

Tags:   gr mailbag

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