Last night I returned home from PAX AUS 2014. Long story short, it wasn't perfect, but it was quite possibly the best weekend I've had this year. It was a lot of fun. If you'd like to continue reading, the long story is just below.
Buckle up. This is gonna be...
I wanted to congratulate you on your timely feature story on Apple's
gPod. I read about the gPod first on your site while the other, lesser
game sites were still focused on the PSP launch. I admit to reading other
websites, but I always return to GR for the best reviews and mailbag letters.
I'm impressed with your consistent quality and the fact that you do it all
while fighting off the Robert MacNichols of the world.
Sweet, gentle, simple Fred. Thank you for saying such nice things about us. You are one of our most valued readers. We don't mind you going to other websites...after all, they gear their content towards readers like you.
We are also proud of you for writing such an articulate (definition:
"characterized by the use of clear, expressive language") e-mail, and we hope you thanked your parent, guardian or emotional caretaker for helping you with it.
Thanks and please be safe,
Apple, Meet Nintendo
gPod would rock the PSP out of the water. Only the DS could even compete with the gPod. Because the DS is a very smart system, and much more inexpensive. Except kind of big. But the gPod, oh man. I know I'd drop $200 for one so that I could play Warcraft whatever (Not the MMORPG) whenever, wherever. I even have an Apple sticker on my wallet, and my favorite band uses Mac everything, even on stage. Jonny Greenwood even has an Apple sticker on one of his many geetars. Apple is just awesome. They've been amazing recently. Except that I MIGHT take a Nintendo product over Apple because of Legend of Zelda, Mario and other Nintendo-based titles. Especially Metroid. I LOVE Metriod Prime.
We see that you are a true believer, although it sounds like you believe in a lot of things. For instance, you believe that the Nintendo DS can compete with Apple's upcoming mega-machine, and that scares us.
So in the name of the Great Master, Steve Jobs, this is what we want you to do:
Dress thyself as an apple and make haste to your nearest video game retailer. Ask a clerk if they know of the coming of the gPod, if you may have a cupcake and if you may stay there overnight. If they answer any of these in the negative, you must flee at once. Should they call the authorities, you must deny any knowledge of the gPod. You must also try to convince the authorities that Mario made you do it.
Continue your quest until the gPod ships, and if ever your will should falter, ask yourself: "What Would Steve Do?"
It's gotten us pretty far, you know.
From: Eber Monterroso
Subject: hey man
Hey man I just wanted to write you so I could verify that the gPod is a real thing. I mean I've talked to some friends of mine and they're saying its just an apple rumor and others are saying that its just an April fools joke to the public. Is it 100% true or is it all just BS? Please let me know what is going on cuz a sick Apple joke like that could anger some people. Thanks
Those "people" are not your friends - they're vicious liars.
For one thing, Apple would never anger "some people," and neither would we, so right there you know your friends are just trying to make you the butt of one of their silly jokes. You should tell them you have a gPod, and that you regularly play StarCraft 2 on it, which, by the way, is teh awesome.
Here's a sneak peek at our exclusive GR review:
"We know 13 perfectly balanced races sounds crazy and that the 130 hour single-player campaign seems impressive, but the Ad-Hoc play is where StarCraft 2 really shines. Up to 10 players can participate in a single match, and nobody needs to own a copy of the game."
Remember, you heard it here first.
Someone Smells A Rat
From: Michael Natale
Is this a joke? I noticed the press release from apple was April 1st...the pictures look photochopped, and if that guy has one in his hand, why did they only show a mock-up of the system? Why not take a pic if it exists?
Great Scott, Michael!
We think you may be onto something. We aren't sure what, but it sounds big, real big!
Could it be possible that Apple, a company with virtually no presence in the video game industry in the last decade, actually isn't developing a handheld gaming platform? Our minds swim at the prospect. Keep following these leads and see where they take you, young sleuth.
PS - No matter what anybody says, do not stick metal objects into electrical sockets. Good luck!
We Have A Winner?
From: Fortunate non-AOL Subscriber Tom
Subject: gPod ... or grPod?
Dear Mr. Magicpants-
Very good work indeed... I must say, you had me fooled for the better part of an hour. Long enough to tell a coworker all about the gPod at least. Doh!
Even though I noticed that the "press release" I received via e-mail was strangely timed with the first of April, you still managed to reel me in. Yes, it will take a little scrubbing to get this egg off of my face. The true giveaway? www.gpod.com was an unregistered domain name.
So anyway, thanks for a good laugh - I needed that. At your earliest convenience, could you remove the hook from my mouth? Thanks. :)
Congratulations! You found the marble in GR's tricky oatmeal! You win the amazing grand prize - a free gPod! Click here to claim your prize, and here for your complimentary helmet!
Seriously, though, save this mailbag. If you're ever down or blue, bring this puppy up and bask in the fact that for at least one moment in time, you outsmarted the smarty-pants.