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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437
I Don't Want to, but I Have To...
By oblivion437
Posted on 10/20/14
Well, Gamergate has spilled over into the mainstream media and the coverage appears to be nearly uniformly dreadful. Take " What is Gamergate, and What Does It Say About Gender In Video Games? " by David Konnow as an example.  It appears that the writer has done little to no...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: Lords Of The Ping

Posted on Tuesday, January 22 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
Murder, She Wrote
From: "???" (***@aol.com)
Subject: i have bad memories of Aladdin on genesis 
cause of this Have you guys ever killed a man because 
you beat a hard lv of a game and the power goes out 
on you.

Greetings Unfotunate AOL Subscriber,

Ben: Yes.

Brian: Yes.

Shawn: Yes.

Zombie Duke: Brains!

- GR

Somewhere Between Berkeley and Middle Earth.
From: "Jonathan Packer" (***@earthlink.net)
Subject: A disgruntled person Why do you pretend that your editor/chief writer person is a zombie (Zombie Duke)? Why do you pretend/think you live in a fortress with a lake/moat full of boiling Mountain Dew surrounding it and a wall with stale nacho chip shards on some sort of wall around it? There are no places of such dimensions in Berkeley, California. One more thing. WHY THE HELL DIDNT THOSE LITTLE #@!$& AT SEGA RELEASE SHENMUE 2 IN EUROPE AND JAPAN AND NOT AMERICA?!!! J.P.

Hey Johnathan,

You've obviously never seen the splendor of the GR Kingdom. We have it all - hundreds of bare-skinned gaming maidens, Mountain Dew waterfalls, portable Counter-Strike VR headsets, patrol Wookiees, computers that never crash...

Or maybe there's just too much, you know, wacky tabaccy in the air here. Whatever. We should get a pizza, dude.

-GR

P.S. Ben Silverman is our Editor in Chief. Zombie Duke is merely the Grand Poobah.

GR PC?
From: "???" (***@cs.com)
Subject: And The Spammy Goes To...
Remove me from this email list immediately. Your language 
is awful. My 10 year old has been on your site, and will 
never be allowed on again. You must be a very dense 
individual as you cannot find any other way to express 
yourself without using curse words!

Dear Mystery Writer,

Huh? I mean, sure, GR uses colorful language and at one point or another has used the word 'ass' to describe something other than a donkey, but you won't find anything on GR that you wouldn't find on South Park. In fact, South Park has much, much more poo.

- GR

All In The Family.
From: "GR's Dad" (***@grics.net)
Subject: Wow you guys actually reply to your "fans"
Wow its like so unnatural for some people as lazy, I mean busy as you GR folks to actually get around to replying to emails. GR, there is something I must tell you..... I AM YOUR FATHER....

Dear Dad,

Awesome! We've been fatherless for as long as we can remember. You've got a lot of make-up work ahead of you. We're expecting about 5 years worth of birthday presents, Xmas presents and child support.

I'd stay away from Mom, though. She's still pissed that you left us in Vegas for that stripper dressed like Princess Toadstool.

-GR

Can't We All Just Get Along?
From: "Daniel Pendleton" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: MGS2 is too better
I agree with what's his name, Metal Gear Solid 2 rocked 
GTA3's world. What in the world were you thinking when 
you picked GTA3. I mean don't get me wrong GTA3 is a 
great game but the graphics are no whwre the same. Take 
the factial features,waving hair as the wind blows and 
match it up against GTA3 graphics. Like you said everyone 
is entilted to there opinion but I hate to tell you , No 
actually I"d love to tel you that your the one wrong. I'll 
be finding myself a different Game Source definately or at 
least find one that can grade a game right. I just feel 
bad for the developers of MGS2 for not getting the reconitio 
they truley deserve.

Dear Daniel,

We don't know where to start. You seem to think that since we gave GTA 3 the GR Game of the Year Award, we must therefore hate MGS 2.

You're nuts. We gave MGS 2 an A. We also gave it the GR Action/Adventure Game of the Year Award. No recognition?

Graphics play a big part in grading a game, but eye candy is not all a game has to offer. How about depth, replayability and, of course, gameplay?

Good luck finding a new "Game Source," since just about every single other magazine on the planet agreed that GTA 3 was the PS2 Game of the Year. And we NEVER agree.

- GR

Tags:   gr mailbag


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