Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that. It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece. I strongly recommend anyone...
From: "???" (***@aol.com)
Subject: i have bad memories of Aladdin on genesis
cause of this Have you guys ever killed a man because
you beat a hard lv of a game and the power goes out
Greetings Unfotunate AOL
Zombie Duke: Brains!
Somewhere Between Berkeley and Middle Earth.
From: "Jonathan Packer" (***@earthlink.net)
Subject: A disgruntled person
Why do you pretend that your editor/chief writer person
is a zombie (Zombie Duke)? Why do you pretend/think you
live in a fortress with a lake/moat full of boiling
Mountain Dew surrounding it and a wall with stale nacho
chip shards on some sort of wall around it? There are no
places of such dimensions in Berkeley, California. One
more thing. WHY THE HELL DIDNT THOSE LITTLE #@!$& AT
SEGA RELEASE SHENMUE 2 IN EUROPE AND JAPAN AND NOT
You've obviously never
seen the splendor of the GR Kingdom. We have it all - hundreds of bare-skinned
gaming maidens, Mountain Dew waterfalls, portable Counter-Strike
VR headsets, patrol Wookiees, computers that never crash...
Or maybe there's just too
much, you know, wacky tabaccy in the air here. Whatever. We should
get a pizza, dude.
P.S. Ben Silverman is our
Editor in Chief. Zombie Duke is merely the Grand Poobah.
From: "???" (***@cs.com)
Subject: And The Spammy Goes To...
Remove me from this email list immediately. Your language
is awful. My 10 year old has been on your site, and will
never be allowed on again. You must be a very dense
individual as you cannot find any other way to express
yourself without using curse words!
Dear Mystery Writer,
Huh? I mean, sure, GR uses
colorful language and at one point or another has used the word 'ass'
to describe something other than a donkey, but you won't find anything
on GR that you wouldn't find on South Park. In fact, South Park has
much, much more poo.
All In The Family.
From: "GR's Dad" (***@grics.net)
Subject: Wow you guys actually reply to your "fans"
Wow its like so unnatural for some people as lazy,
I mean busy as you GR folks to actually get around to
replying to emails. GR, there is something I must tell
you..... I AM YOUR FATHER....
Awesome! We've been fatherless
for as long as we can remember. You've got a lot of make-up work ahead
of you. We're expecting about 5 years worth of birthday presents, Xmas
presents and child support.
I'd stay away from Mom, though.
She's still pissed that you left us in Vegas for that stripper dressed
like Princess Toadstool.
Can't We All Just Get Along?
From: "Daniel Pendleton" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: MGS2 is too better
I agree with what's his name, Metal Gear Solid 2 rocked
GTA3's world. What in the world were you thinking when
you picked GTA3. I mean don't get me wrong GTA3 is a
great game but the graphics are no whwre the same. Take
the factial features,waving hair as the wind blows and
match it up against GTA3 graphics. Like you said everyone
is entilted to there opinion but I hate to tell you , No
actually I"d love to tel you that your the one wrong. I'll
be finding myself a different Game Source definately or at
least find one that can grade a game right. I just feel
bad for the developers of MGS2 for not getting the reconitio
they truley deserve.
We don't know where to start.
You seem to think that since we gave GTA 3 the GR Game of the
Year Award, we must therefore hate MGS 2.
You're nuts. We gave MGS
2 an A. We also gave it the GR Action/Adventure Game of the Year
Award. No recognition?
Graphics play a big part
in grading a game, but eye candy is not all a game has to offer. How
about depth, replayability and, of course, gameplay?
Good luck finding a new "Game
Source," since just about every single other magazine on the planet
agreed that GTA 3 was the PS2 Game of the Year. And we NEVER