In all the talk of graphical downgrades no one seems much preoccupied with 'why?'. Why build something and then proceed to tear it down, piece by piece, in the hope that ever more diminished expectations about the final product won't be severe enough to...
From: "Mohd Faiz Mohd Azmi (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: help me..
I've born a Gameshark last week...but I don't no how to use it.
Where should I prefer it?I hope the GR stuff will tell me how to use
Poor Mohd Faiz,
Did you just say you gave
birth to a GameShark? Boy, I hope you're a girl. That
just sounds painful.
I would have gone for the C-section. Who's the father?
We would love to tell you
how to use it, but you kind of caught us at a bad time.
The "GR stuff" has eaten Brian (who fought valiantly
with his twin butterfly knives), devoured both of Shawn's arms and turned
it's eyes (or whatever those things are) to Ben, who courageously tries
to reason with the thing.
From: "Steve" (***@usd.edu)
Hey, who is the maker of Kengo: Maaster of Bushido anyway? In your
review, you said Crave Entertainment, but said it was a sequel to
Bushido Blade. Because it was a lousy "sequel," you gave it a bad
review. Please check again because Bushido Blade is made by Square,
not Crave Entertainment.
Thanks for your time,
Let us first state that Kengo:
Master of Bushido is a below average game, hence the below average
grade (C-), based on its own shortcomings as much as its neglect of
We noted in the review that
the game was a 'spirited' sequel because it was made by the same developer...which
it was. The publisher/developer thing is often confusing to gamers,
so we're going to take this time to clear a few things up.
Square published the
first two Bushido Blades. This means that Square spent the money to
get thousands of copies of the game distributed and helped fund the
developers, a company called Light Weight. These are the
people who actually spent long hours developing and programming, organizing
numbers and symbols that look like Egyptian Hieroglyphics to the rest
of us and turning them into the game itself.
Square owns the rights to
the Bushido Blade license and name, and for some reason or another couldn't
see eye to eye with Light Weight for the next official Bushido Blade
game. Light Weight has since left Square and took their "unofficial"
Samurai sequel (called Kengo: Master of Bushido - NOT Bushido Blade
3) and placed it in the publishing hands of Crave Entertainment.
Hence, Kengo was made
by the same folks who made the other two.
So boys and girls, this concludes
our lesson of Developers and Publishers. Now, on to How
A Bill Becomes a Law... (440 K, but worth it!)
From: "???" (***@aol.com)
Subject: I have a complaint
Dear Game Revolution,
I am writing to tell you i am p*ssed off
over the fact that you don't review Game Boy Colour games.
Just tell me why not. Maybe you should think about actually
reviewing them as it would make your cool site even cooler.
From Bill Gaton...
Dear Bill Gaton,
You know those height requirements
you see at the amusement park? Well, GR has a "bit" requirement.
32 bits and up, baby!
Game Revolution does not review anything below 32.
Nor do we review pregnant
woman or children under 3, who should check with a physician before
riding Game Revolution.
P.S. If you're missing a few bits and/or you're in your 1st, 2nd, or
3rd trimester, maybe the guys at GameFan.com
can help you...er...wait a minute...maybe they can't.
What's The Point?
From: "Jokall" (***@nex.net.au)
The GR website is one of the most impressive ones I have
come across throughout my various ventures into cyber-space.
It has a simple interface, is easy to navigate, and loads
relatively quickly. There are some minor changes, however,
that would further improve the service you guys offer: a
search engine (search cheats, reviews, etc.) within the site
would be great (if, for example, someone had heard of a game
but only knew the last word in its title [?] ). Also, on the
reviews, I feel it would be helpful if you could put up the
top the number of cd's a game comes with.
Thanks for the kind words
and your 2 cents. But
I think there's something wrong with your own personal searching skills.
We say this because GR does have a search.
It's built into the navigation bar at the top of every single page.
You'll find our search between the Chatterzone
Now why in the world do you
need to know how many discs there are? If the cost is particularly higher
because of several discs, then we would document it. But if a game is
$40 and ships with 18 discs, who the heck cares?
Besides, more game CDs mean
more potential frisbees and coasters.
Don't Let Him Have 'Em.
From: Joe Weber (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: Sily kids, Trix are for everyone...
Ok, I just want to know, why can't those little kids give
the wabbit some Trix? All he wants is some breakfast.....why
do they have to be so mean? It's the most important meal of
the day and they aren't giving that poor poor little wabbit
what he wants...is this the message that we are trying to send
to our kids? That they shouldn't give food to those with pale
skin, long ears, and a fluffy ass?
Apparently you have never
seen what happens when a male rabbit, hopped up on sugar
and preservatives, meets a unsuspecting female rabbit.
All those baby rabbits! It's
like the Tribble
episode from the original Star Trek. Fluffy asses everywhere!