More Reviews
REVIEWS Firefall Review
Repetitive gameplay makes this fall a little boring.

The Walking Dead: Season Two Review
At this point, you’re not coming back for the zombies. Let’s get down to business.
More Previews
PREVIEWS This War of Mine Preview
Finally, a post-apocalypse that has nothing to do with zombies.
Release Dates
NEW RELEASES Destiny
Release date: 09/09/14

FIFA 15
Release date: 09/23/14

Ar Nosurge: Ode to an Unborn Star
Release date: 09/23/14

Persona 4 Arena Ultimax
Release date: 09/30/14


LATEST FEATURES And I Was All "Hell Yeah I'll Play a New Dreamcast Game"
I just played a Dreamcast game that was released in... wait, 2014?

A Comprehensive Guide to Dealing with Controversy in the Video Game Industry
Need help wading through the latest misogyny/homophobia/racism/corruption debate in the gaming industry? Paul Tamburro’s here to help!
MOST POPULAR FEATURES The Updating List of PAX Indies
We're heading to PAX Prime! Are you looking to check out a few unique indie games while you're there? UPDATED: Dragon Fin Soup, Dungeon of the Endless,

LEADERBOARD
Read More Member Blogs
FEATURED VOXPOP samsmith614 Since game design is a business, I decided to see what's really selling well for the PS4. I did this search a week ago, and at the time, out of the top 20 bestsellers on Amazon 10 had not even been released yet. By now some have been released. But others still have not. And yet others...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: The GR Mailman Is A Retired Wallhacker

Posted on Monday, September 10 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
We're Tough and Slow.
From: "Mike"
Subject: ???
Dear reviewers,
You guys are my official word on videogame buying. I usually 
don't buy a game without your consent. I have a few questions. 
Why are you so tough on games (nothing has gotten an A+)? 
Why are you guys so slow on getting dreamcast reviews? I 
would be more then thankful if you guys reviewed the game 
Dragon riders chronicles of pern.
Sincerely 
Mike

Mike,

We're tough on games because games are tough on our wallets, and we are firm believers in a balance of power.

Why are we slow with turning out Dreamcast reviews? Well, we will let you know when we figure that one out ourselves. We suspect somewhere nearby is a shady postal worker selling Dreamcast games intended for GR out of the back of his mail truck.

Dragon Rider Chronicles is, like most games, a potential review piece. But things often deter that from happening. The game may not be sent to us, or the developers may kidnap the reviewer to prevent the truth about their game from going public. There are many factors that can prevent a game from becoming a review (kind of like how a Bill becomes a law, but less cute).

In the special case of Dragon Rider Chronicles, however, good old-fashioned fraud was to blame. Why? Because there is no dragon riding in Dragon Rider Chronicles. Believe it or not!

You'll read all about it in our review...maybe.

- GR

GR's 4-Step Guide To Being A Gamer!
From: "Jake"
Subject: Gaming in college Hello, My name is Jake. Im going to go to college for multi media, which Im interested mainly in Game development and Animation. I have a question...2 actually. How do you become a member on Game-Revolution? And any advice on becoming a gamer? Thanks for your time. Jake (BOCAJ)

Hi Jake,

To become a member you just need to sign up for our illustrious and fabulously witty newsletter, which we just signed you up for. Muahaha. Expect that fine piece of literary magic in your e-mail inbox every Friday. No need to thank us.

But "how to become a gamer?" That's tricky...

...but thanks to our simple yet effective 4 step program, you can call yourself a gamer in no time flat! WATCH all the girls run away! SQUEAL with delight as you get a couple big zits! LAUGH like a maniac as you spray a room full of Terrorists down with the colt in CS!

1. You will need to obtain a video game playing device. A console or PC will do. Game Boys don't qualify as you are still able to travel, see the light of day and be social. Lame!

2. Next, you need to locate a convience store, something as close to your gaming device as possible. 7/11s are great for this but anything will do - liquor stores, vending machines, whatever. This will be your supply depot where all essential stomach churning snacks and syrupy sweet, carbonated beverages are purchased.

3. Exercise...or to be specific, the lack thereof. Here what we are trying to achieve is a nice roundness to the physique, nothing debilitating. Remember, you need to make those speedy trips to your "supply depot." A sizeable beer belly is acceptable.

4. Of greatest importance is nerdy gamer jargon. Like the art of proper Dorito cunsumption, becoming fluent in gamer jargon is a long process requiring years of cultivation.

- Use words like "polygonal" and "z-buffering" in everyday conversation.

- Come up with three ways to use the word "gameplay" in a sentence.

- Replace normal words with gamer words. Example: "That waitress has the cheat code to my heart. She r0x0rs!"

Good Luck!

- GR

Presidential Speach Impediments?
From: "A informed gamer" 
Subject: ???
Hello GR,
I love your reviews, because they are witty and funny. 
But will you guys quit picking on Gorge Bush. I mean, 
I would rather have a person who talks with a lisp. 
Then a serial rapist, murderer, swindler, and a lier 
that we had in office last term.
A informed game

To A Informed Gamer,

Thanks for the nice words, but you've got to be kidding sticking up for old George. He's a barrel of laughs...and speaking of barrels...

- GR

Turbo Can-Kick XL, Politicians & Other Lies?
From: Andrew
Subject: What do these games have in common!?!?

In response to "What do the games Bonker Jerks 2, Turbo Can-Kick XL: I Think I Can, Hugh Hefner's Pro Skater 4: Playmate of the Year Edition and Stephen Hawking's Kart Racer all have in common?" I would have to say that they have all slept with Gary Condit WAAAAOOOOH! -Andrew

Hello Andrew,

Now that's just not nice - correct, but not nice. I bet you could sell that information to the authorities for a pretty penny. Chandra Levy's parents would thank you.

Now see if you can answer us this: Why are politicians so damn shady?

- GR

Nicest...Preview...Ever.
From: "Ryan Thompson"
Subject: previews
Hey GR,
I have a quick question. Why don't you ever say bad
things in your previews? Considering that your reviews
are so harsh (but fair), I'd think that your previews
would be a bit more critical, too. Just seems kind of
off balanced. Well, seeya.
-The CheeseGod 

Hey there Ryan,

While it seems that the only thing separating a preview from a review is the letter 'p', there's actually another major difference betweeen the two. Previews are written about games that have yet to be completed. We can't really critique a game that isn't done, which is why game companies and fans love previews.

How stupid would we look by if we complained about something and then found that it was fixed in the finished version? That's just not fair. Previews mainly exist to just get the word out on upcoming games and better describe the ins and outs. We save all the bad bits for the final product review bashing.

- GR

Tags:   gr mailbag


comments powered by Disqus

More On GameRevolution