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FEATURED VOXPOP Kakulukia
Why Sunset Overdrive Can Go Suck A Lemon
By Kakulukia
Posted on 07/14/14
Yesterday, while cleaning up my media center, I found my copy of Ratchet & Clank: Into The Nexus, which I bought sometime before Christmas last year. I had been pretty excited about this game pre-release, what with it being the first "traditional", albeit shorter than usual,...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: Making The Slightly Insecure Completely Neurotic!

Posted on Monday, July 24 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
Pedantically Speaking
From: "Evan" (*******@netaccess.co.nz)


Subject: Good work! Hello workers at gaming Revolution! My name is Evan and I live in NZ. Your site is one of the best I have been to- it is to-the-point, witty, accurate and full of useful stuff. The overall quality of your site is great, and I can always count on it for cheaty cheats, useful reviews and accurate walkthroughs. By the way, compliments on your GR Rants section- the pedanticisms of the Editor are funny and interesting. So, Overall, I would like to say well done, and keep up the good work! From Evan
Hey Evan,

Oh really! Well your pedanticisms are terrible, you sorry little...huhn...what? It means what? Oh right, I knew that.

I was just keeping the readers, you know...on their toes.

-GR

P.S. The Editor tips his hat to your compliments. And he says there will something extra in your check next week.

They Came. They Saw. They Smoked.
From: "Doktor Sokk" (*******@telusplanet.net)


Subject: Vital Information Hey! Guess what! I just pulled a really long string out of my sock and used it to floss my teeth!!! Really? Thanks! I thought you'd be proud of me! A free game? For me? Thank you! So it just goes to show you kids out there, anything is possible if you believe in yourself. PS Winners don't use drugs Your friend Doktor Sokk
Hey Doktor Sokk,

What are you talking about? All the winners use drugs!

Julius Caesar - Ambrosia of the Gods (Beer)
Genghis Khan - Opium. Lots and lots of it.
Napolean Bonaparte - Le Crackhead.
Adolf Hitler - We don't know WHAT he was on.
Jesus Christ - Well, Jesus was clean but all his friends were pothead hippies.

Okay, so fine - maybe not all of these guys are "winners." But they sure liked killing things. Except Jesus. He was just into wood.

-GR

Take Care Of Yourself...And Each Other.
From: "Big Brother" (*****@aol.com)
Subject: new ad campaign
my friend brought over a porno one time and when we were 
watching it we noticed something. in the background we saw 
a N64. we paused it and looked closely and in it was diddy 
kong racing. now is this a new ad campaign for nintendo? 
if so how how will sega and sony deal with this. will they 
advertise on other things like, jerry springer, worlds best 
police chases, or even on nascar????? 
Hey BB,

Are Jerry Springer, World's Best Police Chases and NASCAR comparable to pornography?

Well ok, maybe NASCAR and the World's Best Police Chases. But Jerry Springer?

I always thought of it as a family show. The brothers and sisters and mothers and uncles and cousins all seem to show so much passion and affection for one another. It's obvious that they truly enjoy loving one another.

Then there is Jerry with his caring and insightful "Final Thought." Who in their right mind would liken this show, packed with good old American family values, to pornogrphy?

It's certainly nowhere near as provocative as, say, Malcom in the Middle or those racy Harry Potter books. Now that is what you would call a festering cesspool of depravity.

-GR

P.S. Send me the name of that movie for...uhh...ahem...editorial purposes.

Youse Betta Have a Freakin' Awmy!
From: "cONSPiracy gUy" (*****@home.com)
Subject: The war is nearing . . .
Listen all you "outsiders" might think that this is crazy talk, 
but it's not.
nintendo vs. playstation ?
Soon buildings are getting burned , and you game reveiwers 
are stuck in the middle of it all.
Dont let the famalies push you guys arond , join forces , 
make an ultimate game geveiw site , FIGHT THE POWER!!!!!
~~~Just a tip , but when the nintendo dolphin add comes out , 
dont look directly into the little dolphin's eye's , 
or you will become loyal to only one family.~~~
cONSPiracy gUy=+=+=???
Hi cONSPiracy gUy,

Not to worry. We hired Willy the Fingers and Fats Muligan for protection.

Also, Ben's manning the front tower with a "Tommy."

-GR

P.S. I wouldn't trust those other publications. I think they're on the "take."

The Best System Revealed!
From: Gamebum (******@itis.com)
Subject: Hi can ask u a queston
Hi i would like to start by sain u guys have the best 
fen gamein site on the earth.well my queston is i am gonna 
buy a new system i have sony and snes and nes but i was 
wondering if i should buy a sega dreamcast or a N64 if so 
what games should i get and what other accesories
Hello Gamebum,

We here at GR get this question asked to us about 10 times a day. So I will answer this one more time, and one time only.

If you are itching to get a new system that does it all and you're wondering
which system that should be, the long awaited answer is:

The George Foreman Party Grill

Not to be confused with the 'original' Foreman Grill. Oh no - this grill has party technology. Read all about why this is the system of choice for you cloudy headed gamers.

I know, I know. Just check out the article. You can thank me later. Don't get all mushy on me.

-GR

P.S. Here's a tip: Find the games you like. If those game aren't coming out on the Party Grill, then maybe you shouldn't get one.

Tags:   gr mailbag


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