Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that. It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece. I strongly recommend anyone...
From: "Cheese Dolphin"
Subject: The popularity of zombie games
I know it will be hard to break away from your habitual
drug habits and beautiful women who fawn at your every
move to actually answer to this, but please give input.
Do you believe that we are getting a larger influx of
zombie games simply because that is the closest thing
to being able to shoot actual people? Most games have
that feature, but with zombie games, it is always so
much more gratifying. Take House of the Dead for
example, most games like Quake let you blow someone
against a wall with a mini-missle, but they stay in
one piece. With HOTD though, it lets you blow the heads
off of psudo-human forms, then blow even larger holes in
their chest cavity. I myself have beaten that game
thirteen times purely for the joy of taking head shots
and shooting monkeys. Also, when your parents ask why
exactly you play such a violent game, you can always say
that they aren't exactly human, not so for Quake and
other FPS. Do the masters at the GR
fortress/compound/city-state believe this, or is there
Dear Cheese Dolphin,
Wait a minute...shooting
zombies is gratifying? Oh, the atrocity! Some of our best friends
are zombies. Some are even zombie alcoholics.
It's no secret that we love
zombies. So they aren't the most articulate conversationalists or the
snazziest of dressers and sometimes they smell a little like fresh cooked
Who cares! They're good people, even if they have a habit of biting
We think there are more zombies
in games and movies simply because zombies hold many more positions
of influence than they have in the past. Why is that? Simple. They eat
brains. Lots of 'em. Then they make more zombies. Just like rabbits!
They can't be stopped, you know. Just go watch a movie or two and you'll
P.S. If you think blowing
off limbs in House of the Dead was fulfilling, then you haven't
The Wise Man Cometh
From: "J Dawgg
This is to all the people who write into GR complaining about
their harsh reviews.
I've been debating to myself if I should reserve a gamecube or
an xbox when they come out........as of right now I am leaning
more for the gamecube (but that is only because it's as far as
I know it is $100 cheaper.)But that still doesn't mean I am going
to get one for sure...
so I came up with a solution and that is: which ever system that
will have better launch games (in my opinion) I will buy.
So if you guys could (if you haven't already) please post up on
the message board or where ever on your website the launch titles
for the xbox and gamegube............. Thanks A Million
- J Dawg
Hey J Dawgg,
Wow! Two insightful
e-mails in as many weeks. We can't believe it. Either gamers are getting
wiser or the powers-that-be have put something special in the
The final launch lineups
haven't been solidified yet, but in the meantime you can check out our
and Fact archive for a bunch of Xbox and Gamecube info.
From: Simon Houston
Subject: FROM THE CLASS OF SAN FRANCISCO
Wazzup Game-Revolution dudes,
Man, you guys KICK the asses of the other wimpy gaming
sites. Let's give a round of applause to the makers of
this KNARLY site! I want to give thanks to providing me
with the most excellent information around to every
staff member of the site (well, the ones who do the most
work!) Duke - Man, isn't this guy a master or what? He
can rule all the land! He sure shows power in his his
reviews, and has a great sense of humor! Ben - I love
this guy. (Not LOVE LOVE) but he's awesome! Not only does
he work his butt off to do AWESOME WORK, he is funny! One
of my personal favorite guys of GR.
Brian - This guy works undercover. He can do a whole bunch
of work and not even be noticed! This guy is the sh*t, GEE
RULES ALL CALIFORNIA! Why didn't he tell anyone he was a
spy? Shawn - The man in charge of the funny crap! He is
the funniest of the funnies! He writes tubular reviews and
I mean tubular! Do a dance for us
Shawn, your name sounds funky (AWESOME FUNKY)
Johnny Liu - Go Johnny go Johnny! It's your birthday, it's
your birthday. Keep up the good reviews man!
A.A. White - This woman's got attitude! She can write
reviews freely and with elegance! This woman rocks the house!
G-Wok - We love these guy's reviews!
Shawn Sparks - What is it about this guy that just makes me
want to scream AWESOME!!! His reviews are awesome too!!!
Well, that's what me and my class think of you guys. You guys
are the greatest of the greatest. We mean it too! Any of you
non GR fans who make fun of GR, you should go sh*t yourself!
BYE GR! FROM THE CLASS OF SAN FRANCISCO MIDDLE SCHOOLS!
Simon, and all of his friends.
Thanks for the kind words.
We really appreciate you appreciating us, though we're also kinda scared.
Please refrain from
ever using the word "tubular" again. And Ben feels a little
uncomfortable about you talking about his butt.
The Truth Behind H30!
From: "Ryan Thompson"
Subject: H30 surfing
First off I love your website. I check it every day
(despite the fact it isn't updated every day, but hey,
i've got time on my hands). Anyway, I wrote this
letter in response to something in the review of H30
No, i'm not going to tell you that its a great game
and you all suck, because that game royally sucks
toenail clippings (Its not worthy of sucking my
beautiful ass). The review asked what H30 is if H20 is
water. You suggested that it was perhaps a jelly-like
substance (mmm...Jelly...) But it is actually acid
(No, not the good kind of acid).
It is formed when you drop HCL powder or another
powdered acid into water. I guess the guys who named
that game failed Chemistry! I'd hate be one of those
surfers, or even worse, someone who bought that
craptastic game. Well, thanks for listening to my
dorky correction. ROCK ON!
Thanks a lot for clearing
that up for us. We were beginning to fear for our safety. This
just goes to show - a nerd is a terrible thing to waste.
Thank god for chemistry!
Well, except for the part that makes bombs or any substance that can
peel the skin from your flesh just by sniffing it. We'll thank big stupid
megalomaniacs for that, like Caligula,
Skeletor, or George
Is There a Doctor In The House?
Subject: stop making Dreamcast!
Now that there are no more Dreamcasts,what happens if
one brakes? who will fix it? what if it needs parts?
I dont own one yet, but i dont want to blow $100 on
something that can't be kept going
Greetings AOL Subscriber,
That's a fair
question and deserves a fair answer. Darn.
Sega is still
around making games and plans to be for many years to come. They've
just decided to stop production on the Dreamcast. So if your Dreamcast
comes down with something (sniffles, stuffy head, cramps, etc.), you
should still be able to contact Sega's technical support and utilize
your DC warranty.
But if Sega
proves to be less than helpful (which very well may be the case) or
your warranty is rendered void because you felt the need to fondle your
DC's innards for one reason or another, then you can go here
or here to get in
touch with some Dreamcast doctors. Both
places offer repairs and replacement parts.