GR Mailbag: No Increase In Postage Rates

From: "Jeremy Cole" 
Subject: what does this mean and can someone do it for me? 
I am looking for work and need to answer this so I can sit 
in a cubicle and receive tiny paychecks.
*Describe a work, academic or other situation where you have 
analysed and interpreted both quantitative and qualitative 
information and placed this information into a broader context 
when providing a solution to a problem. 
i) Briefly, what was the situation and what analysis and 
interpretation of the information was required?
ii) What were the implications of your findings given the 
broader context of the problem?
*Describe a work, academic or other situation where the 
actions of one or more team members has had a detrimental
effect on the overall performance of your team. In your 
answer address the following: 
i) What factors were effecting overall team performance?
ii) What steps did you take to address these factors?
iii) How did you ensure similar problems did not arise in the future? 
*Describe a situation where you have demonstrated your 
capacity to assume a leadership position and engage 
others in the achievement of goals. Please address the 
following in answering this question: 
i) How did you provide direction and feedback to others?
ii) How did you engage others and gain their commitment 
towards your objectives
*Describe a situation where you have demonstrated your 
technical & professional expertise in analysing 
business/financial type information. 
i) What technical & professional skills did you 
utilise in your approach?
ii) How might these skills be transferable to other 
situations? 

Can you please ask that TV resolution guy because he 
appears to be a dumping ground for sh*t no one cares about

Dear Jeremy,

We asked the TV resolution guy, and he told us that the correct answer is 42. We believe him. Enjoy your cubicle. Just don't touch my stapler.

- GR

From: Steven Kozel 
Subject: Good Bye Miss Cleo 
I just saw this and thought you guys might 
be interested since you sometimes use Miss Cleo 
in some of your reviews and replys.
By Cathryn Conroy, Netscape News Editor
First, we can't really call her "Miss Cleo." As everyone 
in the world now knows, the psychic Miss Cleo was a 
fake--a persona created by her employer, Steve Feder, a 
52-year-old Florida businessman with a waterfront mansion 
and a Mercedes. And he owns the name and won't let her use 
it now that she and the business have been exposed as a fraud. 
But Miss Cleo, er...Youree Dell Harris (that's her real name) 
insists she IS a psychic and a real Jamaican shaman. Never 
mind the pesky details of her Los Angeles birth to American 
parents. Speaking of which, Florida's Assistant Attorney 
General Dave Aronberg met with Harris and her attorney in 
late June for a deposition in a civil suit filed by the state 
of Florida. Aronberg asked her questions about her birth 
certificate, and Miss Cleo said the same thing each time: 
She invoked her Fifth Amendment right against 
self-incrimination. The lawsuit accuses her of deceptive 
trade practices for her television ads pitching a psychic 
hot line that charged up to $4.95 a minute. Why the 5th? 
"I won't give the devil his due. I praise the father for 
every day that I have," she told The Associated Press. 
Meanwhile, she admitted to Savoy magazine that the Jamaican 
accent is a fake. (We're shocked!) It was invented by her 
employers who wanted people to think she had "just got here 
off the banana boat." As if the fake accent wasn't enough, 
Harris said a makeup artist darkened her complexion before 
each commercial. 
Unbelievable! I never would have thought that of all 
people, Miss Cleo, is a fake.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. 
Your site is great.

Dear Steven,

It's just this kind of blatant lying that gives the psychic community a bad name. We know for a fact that Miss Cleo is ACTUALLY Jamaican, because we once saw a picture of her rolling doobies.

And just because some attorney "generals" are claiming that she's a "fake" and that she swindled "people" out of "money" doesn't mean that it's true in a different time dimension. At least that's what Kenny Kingston told us.

-GR

From: "Anonymous" 
To: info@game-revolution.com 
hey,
watch out what you say about belgium
http://www.gamerevolution.com/oldsite/misc/about.htm

Dear anonymous,

Nice try, King Albert, but we see through your crummy disguise. Look, we've been mellow about Belgium for a while now. Don't get us started about you and your damn waffles. Mess with the bull and you get the horns.

-GR

From: *******@aol.com 
Subject: quick question 
If I were to come up with an original idea for a video game, 
how would I go about protecting that idea before I present 
it to an interested company?
Thanks in advance,
Qman

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

That's easy - just don't tell anyone what it is! that way it stays locked up tight in your brain, safe from the prying eyes of underhanded video game companies.

If you already screwed up and told someone about it, then you might want write it up and look into copyrighting your work.

-GR

From: "Alex Bill" 
Subject: Gamerevolution.com 
Greetings,
Now, if I remember correctly, the url "http://www.gamerevolution.com" 
was formally a porn site trying to sucker in would-be GR readers. 
I was lucky enough to hear about this before I made the mistake of 
actually visiting the site. Well, tonight I was bored and decided 
to see exactly who was behind the treacherous "Gamerevolution.com". 
What I found both shocked and offended me deeply. The sheer amount 
of child pornography, scandalous teenagers, beastiality and 
whatever the hell this is supposed to be. Come on, GR, I know 
there's something you can do to get these scoundrels off the 
interweb. Please, think of the kittens.
Alex

Dear Alex,

Fine, you win this time, pesky reader. But don't for a minute think that we'll give in. Retribution is coming and you just made the list. Right after Belgium.

-GR

P.S. Interweb?