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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437
I Don't Want to, but I Have To...
By oblivion437
Posted on 10/20/14
Well, Gamergate has spilled over into the mainstream media and the coverage appears to be nearly uniformly dreadful. Take " What is Gamergate, and What Does It Say About Gender In Video Games? " by David Konnow as an example.  It appears that the writer has done little to no...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: No really, tell us

Posted on Tuesday, March 16 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
A Cordial Response

From: "sean blaylock"

I read one of your reviews on ARMY MEN WORLD WAR FINAL FRONT I thought you this was a bad review all the army men games I have played where riley fun

I think you are the idiot.

Dear Sean,

We respect your opinion, just as we respect the opinion of each and every Game Revolution reader. We would never be so bold as to label your feelings about video games "wrong" or "faulty," since, after all, it's all subjective anyway. If you like a game, then by golly, it's got to be a good game, right? There is no such thing as right or wro...

WAIT! WHAT ARE WE SAYING?!?!?! You actually LIKE those Army Men games? Are you on crack, boy? Are you mentally ill? There's only one thing worse than an Army Men game, and that's another Army Men game. Your love for this absolutle train wreck of a series demonstrates your inability to use more than 1% of your brain. Please do the world a favor and never, EVER "learn" how to drive.

Boy, it's been a while since the last Mailbag. We're out of shape! Almost let that one get away.

- GR

Age Of Useless Complaints
From: marcus anderson
Subject: what was you thinkin

you are real stupid for that review about age of mythology you should gave it a better review. it was good but you kbow that this is a better game then some of the the games. but you can do better next time.
-Marcus Anderson

Dear Marcus,

So can you, son, so can you.

- GR

And Other Classic Questions...
From: *******@aol.com

I'm on level 4 and when I enter the tunnel a 60 second clock starts. What do I have to do? Thanks.

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber

Since you didn't tell us the name of the game, we're just going to give you our all-purpose answer to the age-old video game question:

"HOW DO I ESCAPE FROM THE TUNNEL IN 60 SECONDS?"

Dude, we got stuck in the exact same place. First, try running towards the screen while dodging the bats, jumping over the spikes and ducking underneath the swinging blades. And look out for that giant boulder! It helps if you keep close to the wall. Once you get past the pit traps, you need to avoid the falling rocks. Keep dodging left and right until you see a rope dangling right out in front of the entrance. Time it right, jump up and grab the rope to swing out to safety...but look out for that drop!

If that doesn't work, slam on the gas and drive like hell.

- GR

Thanks For Ruining Everything.
From: **********@aol.com
Subject: (no subject)

i hope you make a terminator four game
thank you and have a nice day.

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber #2,

You just made us envision a future in which we are forced to play Terminator 4. There is no way we could possibly have a good day now.

-GR

Our Very Own DEK-F!


From: Simon Wei (Sales Manager)

Subject: genertors

Dear sir,
Our company is a leading manufacturer specialized in mini-type DEK-F series of super-light single-phase air-cooled and direct- spraying diesel engines, single-phase traveling diesel generators, water pumps, fire engine pumps, miniature tillers, horticultural machines and power sprayers, which pass CE and ISO 9002 attestation

With advanced assembly line and test line, We now reaches an annual production capability more than 80,000 sets, most of which are sold in over 40 countries and regions in the international market, including North and South America, Europe,Southeast Asia, Middle East, Australia, etc.Our products are loaded with excellent features. Compact, lightweight and low noise. Not to mention the low fuel consumption.

For more detail,please feel free to let us know your enquiry!

Simon Wei(Sales)

Dear Simon Wei (Sales),

Thanks for the unbelievably confusing e-mail. The other day we were just discussing how awesome it would be if we could get our hands on a sweet new single-phase traveling diesel generator and four horticultural machines, particularly if we could find a few that passed ISO 9002 attestation.

Oh, and double thanks for the kickass picture of the DEK-F! It's a beauty!

-GR

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