Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that. It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece. I strongly recommend anyone...
We respect your opinion,
just as we respect the opinion of each and every Game Revolution
reader. We would never be so bold as to label your feelings about
video games "wrong" or "faulty," since, after all, it's all subjective
anyway. If you like a game, then by golly, it's got to be a good
game, right? There is no such thing as right or wro...
WAIT! WHAT ARE WE SAYING?!?!?!
You actually LIKE those Army Men games? Are you on crack,
boy? Are you mentally ill? There's only one thing worse than an Army
Men game, and that's another Army Men game. Your love for
this absolutle train wreck of a series demonstrates your inability
to use more than 1% of your brain. Please do the world a favor and
never, EVER "learn" how to drive.
Boy, it's been a while since
the last Mailbag. We're out of shape! Almost let that one get away.
Age Of Useless Complaints
From: marcus anderson
Subject: what was you thinkin
you are real stupid for that review about age of mythology you should
gave it a better review. it was good but you kbow that this is a better
game then some of the the games. but you can do better next time.
So can you, son, so can
And Other Classic Questions...
I'm on level 4 and when I enter the tunnel a 60 second clock starts. What
do I have to do? Thanks.
Since you didn't tell us
the name of the game, we're just going to give you our all-purpose
answer to the age-old video game question:
"HOW DO I ESCAPE FROM
THE TUNNEL IN 60 SECONDS?"
Dude, we got stuck in the exact
same place. First,
try running towards the screen while dodging the bats, jumping
over the spikes and ducking underneath the swinging blades.
And look out for that giant boulder! It helps if you keep close
to the wall. Once you get past the pit traps, you need to avoid
the falling rocks. Keep dodging left and right until you see a
rope dangling right out in front of the entrance. Time it right,
jump up and grab the rope to swing out to safety...but look out
for that drop!
If that doesn't work, slam
on the gas and drive like hell.
Thanks For Ruining Everything.
Subject: (no subject)
i hope you make a terminator four game
thank you and have a nice day.
Unfortunate AOL Subscriber #2,
You just made us envision
a future in which we are forced to play Terminator 4. There is no way we could possibly have a good day now.
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Dear Simon Wei (Sales),
Thanks for the unbelievably confusing e-mail. The other day we were just
discussing how awesome it would be if we could get our hands on a sweet new
single-phase traveling diesel generator and four horticultural machines,
particularly if we could find a few that passed ISO 9002 attestation.