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GR Mailbag: Now the Demented Have a Home
Posted on Monday, May 1 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
| Better Than Money ! |
From: Mika (*****@aol.com)
Subject: Voluntary work or payed labor?
I would just like to ask if you guys are actually getting
payed to sit there and play games all day or do you do this
as a hobby.
-Mika Mage
|
| Hey Mika,
Of course we get paid. And
we get to name our salary too, isn't that keen? Duke gets paid in Underoos
(he demands that they be Wonder Woman or Jayna from the Superfriends,
limited editions). Ben gets paid in Yanni albums. Colin prefers old
episodes of Bonanza dubbed in Punjabi. Shawn decided on tiaras
made of lifesavers to go with the Miss America outfit that he insists
on wearing to work. And all our writers get pickled mango seeds on Fridays.
Paid in full, baby!
-GR, an equal opportunity
employer! |
| Mmm...Pole Taste Good! |
From: Bazil (*****@bellatlantic.net)
Subject: video Games
i was wondering if you guys were stupid or something!
where in the world is the other duke nukem la meltdown
and where the heck is doom ya' ignorent people! And i
think that your opinion doesn't really even matter
because IF YOU EVER IN YOUR LIFE AGAIN COMPARE DUKE
NUKEM TIME TO KILL WITH SYPHON PHILTER I WILL RIP YE'
O' FAITHFUL TOUNGES OUT AND STICK EM' TO A FROZEN
POLE LIKE IN A CHRISTMAS STORY.GLAD WE GOT THAT
STRAIGHT. THANKS FOR LISTENIN' DUDES!!!!!!!
|
| Hey Bazil,
Man, you're really getting
worked up considering that our "opinion doesn't even matter."
And for future threats regarding the 'glosso' region...go right ahead.
Due to our grossly enlarged brains, we prefer to communicate via mental
telepathy. No tongues needed...Vulcan mind melds, all the way.
P.S. We loved you in Fawlty
Towers.
-GR |
| Put Down The Wild Turkey |
From: (*******@aol.com)
Subject: Hey
CAN U SEND ME THE SIMS FOR FREE
|
Sure thing! Just a few provisos:
- Long Hair
- Long Legs
- Hourglass Figure
- A willingness to bump off the competition
Send measurements and a list
of your previous assassinations to:
740 Gilman
Berkeley Ca, 94710.
-GR |
| Gopher to Pink Cherub! Gopher to Pink Cherub! |
From: justin (******@midusa.net)
Subject: operation ps2
foxhound to yellowbird
foxhound to yellowbird
target has the package
repeat target has the package
proceading to check point alpha as ordered
requesting information
import playablity
mod chip probablity factors
unit 6 has set the charges and is awaiting further instructions
over
|
Gopher to Pink Cherub
Gopher to Pink Cherub
message acquired
troops have been deployed
snipers in position
response coming in...
...and uh...well...no one knows.
-GR |
| 'My brother can beat up your brother' |
From: ryan nott (******@hotmail.com)
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Screen name alert (do not delete)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ON JUNE, 23 2000 AOL WILL START TO MONITOR YOUR
ACCOUNT WHILE YOU ARE ON OR
OFF LINE WE KNOW HOW TO STOP AOL FROM DOING
THIS.
THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN.
IF YOU SEND THIS TO 10 PEOPLE IN THE NEXT
83
MINUTES, WE WILL PROTECT YOUR
ACCOUNT. IF YOU DONT, THAN WE WILL LOAD A
VIRUS IN
YOUR ACCOUNT. IF YOU
THINK WE OUR KIDDING AROUND THAN JUST TRY
US!
|
| Mr. Nott.
Wow! This looks really authentic.
We will comply most expeditiously. Please
sir - don't send us a virus.
Or I will tell my big brother, and he is bigger than you.
-GR |
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