GR Mailbag: One Sexy Bag of Male(s)
Posted on Tuesday, February 19 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
|Stop This FPS, I Want to Get Off.|
From: "Scott Kurz" (***@verizon.net)
I like your critical reviews...you don't say a mediocre
game is great!
Anyway, I like console games mostly, but I tried
some FPS action on the PC, Half-Life and Serious
Maybe I am just a wimp or really sensitive but
I got some bad motion sickness after playing for
a little. And it's not like I was moving the mouse
all over the place making myself dizzy...I was
actually doing pretty good with the control scheme.
Is this normal? Do people get used to this?
If it is I'll play until this doesn't happen any more,
but if not forget it..no fun.
Thanks a lot...
Oh yeah...the old motion
sickness. It must be a recessive gene or something. Many gamers are
plagued by it, especially in FPS games (and even more so in corridor-heavy
ones like Half-Life).
GR writer A. A. White is one of the most hardcore gamers we know, and
she too is afflicted with motion sickness. She can't play Quake
or even the new super-cool Medal
of Honor: Allied Assault. Oddly enough, she can play Counter-Strike
all the live long day. Told you it's the best game ever. Hehe.
Focusing soley on the cursor in FPS games (as opposed to the other moving
objects) has helped some people. It also helps to avoid playing when
you're really tired.
Honestly, we're not doctors
and we're not sure how to prevent it. The
level of motion sickness seems to vary from geek to geek.
But we think the best cure
is persistence and repetition. Who cares that you're sitting in a pool
of your own vomit when you just single-handedly won the round by picking
off the last five CTs wielding nothing but a desert eagle?
P.S. If your doctor asks
who gave you that advice, say "Gamespot."
|It's Like a Finger Pointing A Way To The Moon...|
From: "Robert" (***@yahoo.com)
what credentials do you need to have to work for your site?
Please send your respond to:****@yahoo.com
It's easy! All you need is
a plain sheet of white paper with the word CREDENTIALS written
across in big, bold letters.
Oh yeah, and it has to be
signed by Bruce Lee.
See ya at work.
|Holy Ass-Kissing, Batman!|
From: "Christopher Miller" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: Thank you!
This is a message for Brian Gee, Ben Silverman, Shawn
Sanders, Johnny Liu, and all of the others who have made
me laugh so incredibly much while keeping me informed in
the expansive universe of gaming.I am actually praying
for another game to come out that is as bad as Survivor
so that I can enter into the state of absolute hysteria
once again upon reading your review. My bet is that the
game will be the MMORPG Survivor 2 where you can actually
have a 3-way between Jerri, Elisabeth, and Tom the goat
I thoroughly enjoy the rhetoric included within each review
(both hardware and software) with one of my favorite phrases
being, "Holy spatial nightmare, Batman!" The pictures and
soundbytes (nascar_krusty and survivor_survive to name a
few) add that much more to the reviews wherein they occur.
I absolutely have no clue why those who critique you cannot
at least do it intelligibly, but I hope that you have other
visitors like myself anxious to read Game-Revolution's
intelligent, creative, cerebrally-bastardized take on a
given topic. I will be buying some new hardware in the near
future and you have definitely helped in the decision-making.
Hopefully, Game-Revolution is going strong and I can count
on you for reviews and entertainment in the future.
No pressure. In conclusion, "Holy Ass-Kissing, Batman" may
be an appropriate header for this message, but that's fine as
long as you keep the reviews, previews, and mailbags coming.
Thank you once again!
Wow, what a wise, insightful
e-mail! Many thanks.
Now kindly remove your nose
from our collective buttcrack, as we need to go to the store and it's
hard to ride a bike with a face attached to one's ass.
|Wallhack Found! Initiating Ban Protocol: H4x0r Die Sucka!|
From: "dhony" (***@myself.com)
hi i'm doni from indonesia. i want u to teach me about
counter-strike cheats ok
Not if your very life depended on it, you dirty rotten cheater!
|Kiss of The Dragon.|
From: "Robert NOYB" (***@hotmail.com)
Hey there. I know you guys are massively busy playing
games and all, but I just felt like I had to voice a
bitch to you. I'm just wondering if you guys even proof
read each other's evaluations of games. I ask because the
guy who rated Drakan on the PS2 dropped the ball big time,
and the rest of you did too for not smacking this
individual up-side his fat head. How in the hell did you
give FFX a better score than this game is beyond me and
probably everyone else. The guy's biggest bitch about Drakan
is repetivness? Gee, what the hell else is there besides
killing outside, or killing in a dungeon? Uh, lets go to
some other demensions or something and find something to
kill? Then you goofballs would complain about what a goofy
story it is. What a friggin moron. But FFX, which has the
same stupid gameplay through the whole annoying game gets
an A? WTF? Are you guys dolts or what? Hell, even the lame
"Blitzball" crap mini-game in that "game" is the same
unbelievably stupid, "select a command" method of playing.
Even calling such a stupid premise for a game an RPG is an
outrage. You guys call it an A! Needless to say, I bought
this crappy game based on your evaluation and it was a
complete let down. I went on my own instincts on Drakan
and am happy as hell. I guess I need to learn to look past
the stupidity that you guys write into review. I have to
remember that your are all probably grunge generation
rejects that somehow learned to type.
I know nobody is perfect, but here is what's going on at
your publication: your god-damn heads are getting too big.
You put so much into your own rating, that you are holding
your own rating system in higher esteem than the games they
were made to rate. You think you guys are God's end for all
game rating publications but you are just full of it. Its to
the point now that you're more worried about giving out an A
because it might tarnish your stupid rating system. Well,
just like any other business that rests on its laurels, you
guys are back pedaling now too because its backfiring on you
now. Reading your responses to readers input, it was clear a
year ago that you people think more of your own thoughts than
what everyone else does. I never once heard you guys admit
error, ever. This time I had to write though. Did you know
yours is a consumer based service? We're not reading your
crap because of your outstanding literary skills, in case
that's what you think.
You guys just lost a ton of credibility. Now, your lame
attempts at humor is the only advantage you have going
because any honor in your ratings just went out the window.
Okay, I'll take that back, some of your sh*t is funny.
But you need to go back to basics for judging games.
Wow. Someone had too much
coffee this morning. Settle down. Remember to breathe. In with the good,
out with the bad...
Obviously, we're sorry that
you didn't agree with our reviews for Drakan
and FFX, though
the two games aren't really comparable. One is a role-playing game,
the other an action title. Is Gran Turismo a better game than
Tomb Raider? Would you ever try to compare the two?
Drakan is a very good game - no doubt about that. We enjoyed
it, hence the B grade. Still much of the gameplay comes directly from
the PC version years ago, and the adventure bits with Rynn on foot bring
nothing new to the action/adventure table. Oh heck, you read the review,
we won't repeat it here.
By the way, the average grade
for Drakan according to about 15 game publications is an 80%.
Guess most reviewers agreed with the B.
For the record, we've admitted
mistakes more times than we care to admit - you just haven't been looking.
Just recently Duke admitted that the PS2 version of Silent
Hill 2 should have received a lower grade than he initially gave
it. He wrote this in the Xbox Silent
Hill 2 review.
We'll let the deluge of insults
slide, because, well, we're good at that. However, we're not sure why
you're so angry at us for just reviewing games in the first place. We
call 'em like we see 'em - if you agree with us, awesome. If you don't,
"You put so much into
your own rating, that you are holding your own rating system in higher
esteem than the games they were made to rate."
Hey, we didn't bring up the
grades in the first place, did we? We say this over and over again,
but once more, with feeling...do not focus so much on the grades. We
don't. We base our grades purely on the reviews. So stop worrying about
why one game gets a B while another gets an A-. Read the reviews, and
if you still dislike our opinions, then you probably want to check somewhere