GR Mailbag: Hi. We Send This Mail In Order To Have Your Advice

From: Andy

Subject: Final Fantasy VII
Dear game revolution,
I hope whoever wrote the review for this game is dead or dying
Your friend,
Andy

Dear Andy,

Actually, it's funny you mention good old Baldric. We haven't seen much of him lately.

A few weeks after we published his stellar yet controversial review for Square's Final Fantasy VII, Baldric started getting calls from several major book publishers, a few movie directors looking to make a movie adaptation of his review and dozens of ad & marketing agencies with the intent to produce tons of merchandise under the "Baldric FFVII GR Review" name.

Eventually, Baldric had a mansion built on his own private island in Polynesia. The last time we tried to contact ol' Baldric he was too fatigued to speak with us, exhausted from yet another weekend smothered in expensive drugs, fabulous wines and even more fabulous women.

Not a bad way to die.

- GR

From: "****@aol.com" 
Subject: ???
heres an idea for the game the crow. use the game as flying 
disc and then u guys can get ur rifles and blow the sh** outta 
the game as ben or somebody throws it in the air. get alot so 
u have more fun

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

Yeah, we tried that. We also tried dipping it in acid, smashing it with a hammer, hurling it out the window while driving over the Bay Bridge and encapsulating it in quick-dry cement. Still, the Crow came back, the very next day....

-GR

From: ???
Subject: what the hell where you thinking


WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING GIVING MAX PAYNE A B+ THAT 
GAME DESEVED AN A OR A- OR A+ BUT YOU JUST HAD TO BE A CHEAP 
ALD BASTARD TO DO THAT I WANT ANSWERS TO MY REQUEST

Hi ???,

We tried to give Max our first A+, but he wouldn't take it. He said he felt like he could do better. He found himself a bit lacking in some areas and he even got tired of himself at times. Who are we to say 'no' to an armed man with a face like that? So, B+ it is.

All other readers wishing to refute the grade for Max Payne will be forwarded to Max's father at his homepage.

- GR

From: "Eric"
Subject: HELLO ANY ONE HOME!!!!!!
yo staff i got a question you know how gamespot 
sometimes does there reviews on there games except 
they tape themselfs why dont you guys do that it 
would be neat seeing you guys instead of typing 
things out you could do a video tape review think 
about it ok??

Hey Eric,

We don't do taped reviews because we realize that we are all poorly dressed, portly, pasty geeks whose entire lives are one long bad-hair day, unlike those hunky Gamespot guys.

Also, we prefer to write interesting, thoughtful and funny reviews, unlike those hunky Gamespot guys. Did I say that out loud?

- GR

From: "Greg McGraw"
Subject: PCs vs. Consoles
I was just wondering about your thoughts on the subject.
In the near future, it seems like consoles are going to 
meet or surpass all of the advantages that PC currently 
possess...like hard drives, mouse and keyboard controls, 
internet access, and (when HDTVs become more common) 
hi-res graphics. And they won't suffer from the bad 
aspects of PC gaming, namely, the incompatability 
issues and virus'.  So, even though I really love the 
PC, I'm beginning to wonder weather investing in it will 
be a good idea for much longer.

Howdy Greg,

Good question. If we had a simple answer, we'd be billionaire fortune tellers living in a big ass house.

It's always good to invest some money (never too much) in keeping your PC working and relatively up-to-date. But in truth, PC gaming is not remotely the most cost-effective way to game. That's sort of why consoles have taken off so well - lower costs and fewer compatibility problems mean fewer headaches all around.

Still, the fact that PCs are so driven by irritating components is part of the very reason why PCs are leading the charge for innovation and depth of gameplay. Sure, it can be a real bitch getting drivers to cooperate, but when things run smoothly it's just a much more advanced experience.

Since there are so many individual bits and pieces that comprise your PC, this means that you can swap them out at leisure, never really having to buy a whole new system and starting over from scratch - which is the current case for consoles. Want to play the latest graphically rich PC games but you have a four-year old computer? Chances are you only need to buy a new video card and maybe a new processor - and in the rarest instances a new motherboard. Plus, you can still play every single old game sitting on your shelf. Civilization still rules.

Honestly it's just not really worth your time comparing PC gaming to console gaming. It's like trying to compare different modes of transportation - each has a distinct advantage and disadvantage, and while the gap is growing smaller, we don't think it will be erased any time in the very near future.

So keep your PC well-oiled. There are a slew of incredible looking games coming out in the next year or so on the PC, and you're not going to want to miss out. :)

-GR