GR Mailbag: Pagan Mail Now Accepted!

From: "victor"
Subject: response to sweet jelly nutts
In the November fifth mailbag, 
a letter was posted from someone by the tag of sweet jelly 
nutts. They complained bitterly about the review of The Crow, 
as done by Duke. Here is an independent response:
If you can not learn how to use the English language, maybe 
you should not write letters. To anyone. Ever.
Thank you.
On another note, I'm currently talking my wife out of 
storming to GR compound. Not that she's angry, it's just 
that she has never stormed anywhere before. So if she turns 
up, just humour her, please.
Sincerely; Panavictor

Dearest Victor,

Thank you for voicing the thoughts of the collective GR brain. We don't understand our readers' crazy moon language half the time, either.

Ah, don't worry about your wife. She'll be safe...this time. Last week some big fat guy with a thick mustache and an Italian accent came by and jumped on all our rabid man-eating Goombas. Plus, our Anti-Women Security Task Force is on vacation so they could begin their week-long Gamecube preparedness campaign.

Your wife can try storming GR, but since we really don't have much in the way of guards right now, it might not be a very satisfying storm.

- GR

From: "Billy P."

Subject: What's this life for?
What's the meaning of life?

Dear Billy,

Honestly, we've never understood the confusion.

life: "The property or quality that distinguishes living organisms from dead organisms and inanimate matter, manifested in functions such as metabolism, growth, reproduction, and response to stimuli or adaptation to the environment originating from within the organism."

Or are you asking about this Life? Because we have no idea what the meaning of this is, except that you shouldn't eat too many of the little plastic people or cars.

- GR

From: "Derek Powelson" 
Subject: hey
I was just comparing the specs. on the Gamecube and 
the X-box. (or trying to) It seems to me as far as 
power goes, the X-box is much faster. But processing 
power isnt everything. But again, X-box is using a 
DVD for media, where Gamecube is only using a 1.5 GB 
disc. Not to mention that X-box has a buttload of 
games ready for release with the system. As far as I 
know it seems as though the X-box has the upperhand. 
However, Nintendo is known for doing more with less. 
I mean, look at Goldeneye. People are known for 
buying a N64 just for a select few games, simply cause 
the replay value is so high. Being a Sega fan myself 
and painfully watching them drown in the market that 
was once their forte was very difficult indeed. Had 
they done a few different things, they could've 
avoided all this. Now that they are gone as a console 
competitor, My loyalties lie at Nintendo. I fear that 
they might be shooting themselves in the foot just like 
sega did. I have played a few titles on X-box and just 
as i feared, they were great. :*( Of course the PS2 
will be around for awhile, i have no doubt. But do you 
think that the gamecube will cut it? 3 consoles dont 
tend to last,I for one keep my loyalties and do not 
sell out. It would sadden me to think that the Nintendo 
and Sega were out of the game. :*( -Derek P.S. - When 
I decide to buy a Gamecube I want to know that it has 
a longlife. And can expect good games to be made for 
it for years to come. Please write me back and tell 
me what your guy's view is on this subject.

Howdy Derek,

Your letter is pretty interesting, and we thought we understood what you were talking about until you started spouting off about misplaced loyalties.

We understand that in the past, gamers have preferred one system over another and in turn, one company over another. But most of this stems from the fact that you have a Genesis instead of a SNES, and you want your Genesis to rule, so you become a fan of Sega games.

What we do not understand, however, is the kind of hardcore brand loyalty we see in so many gamers that ends up overriding their own common sense.

What if another company makes better looking games that are more fun to play, while your loyalties lie with an inferior company? Do you stick with that company even though they suck? Or do you broaden your horizons and check out some other platforms?

We say, start broadening. Loyalty is great, but only if it's appreciated. What do you get for your allegiance to Nintendo, not including all the schoolyard wedgies? Nothing!

They don't pay you to play their games. They don't invite you to their big parties and shower you with affection. They run their company in much the same way as Sega and Sony and Microsoft with marginal differences. Keep in mind, these are all multimillion dollar companies running rampant with sketchy bureaucratic business practices.

Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo - none of them really care how many playground brawls you get into while defending their honor. Do you think Billl is going to lose the slightest bit of sleep if someone buys both an Xbox and a Gamecube?

This isn't feudal Japan we're talking about here, people. Loyalty has absolutely nothing to do with good games. Back the system that you feel offers you the best gaming experience, period.

Now we return you to your regularly scheduled Mailbag, already in progress.

- GR

From: "***@aol.com"
Subject:???
do u reply with dear unfortunate aol subscriber wenever 
some1 who has aol sends mail to u guys?...thanx gr

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

Yes.

- GR

From: "Tom" 
Subject: GameCube Progressive Scan
Hi Duke,
My name is Tom, i have e-mailed u before. Um could 
you answer a few questions for me please? 1st do u think a 
component cable is necesarry for a gamecube, and if so how 
much will it cost? 2nd What is the gamecubes progressive scan, 
and when i get my gamecube, how do i use it?
Thanks,
Tom

Hi Tom,

Duke doesn't play games anymore - he's too busy skimming money off the top. So we'll answer in his stead.

1. do u think a component cable is necesarry for a gamecube...

You'll be pleased to know that the Gamecube games look sensational with just your regular AV hookups. A component cable wouldn't hurt, obviously, but it's definitely not necessary.

2. ...how much will it cost?

Unless Nintendo has their own component cable, our guess would be to check with Interact (they're pretty quick with the cables) to see when their third party component cable ships.

3. What is the gamecubes progressive scan...

We know you're not supposed to answer a question with a question, but...HUH? Is that one of those inane nerd questions that have about as much relevance as "which system stays crunchier in milk?" Probably!

But chances are you're wondering about its ability to play on HDTVs (yes, telepathy is a GR employee prerequisite). We aren't 100% positive, but we think it can.

4. ...how do i use it?

Put it in a bowl and pour milk on it.

- GR