GR Mailbag: The Pen is Mightier Than the Controller
Posted on Monday, April 16 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
|Not in the Zone|
From: BuRnOuT (***@aol.com)
Subject: hi shawn
I love the site and all, but why give ZOE a B-?? I thought
it was one of the best games of all time. the difficulty
WILL get higher if you pump up the difficulty level, buddy.
well just give me more reasons why this game isnt at least
B+ potential thanx bye
Our reasons for giving the
game a B- are nicely chronicled in
the review. That's, uh, why we wrote a review.
But to sum up why it didn't
get at least a B+...
Not enough enemy types. Story
is lame. No replay value. No customization. Weak character design. Seriously,
the main character looks like one of the supposed humans from the Pokemon
show. Am I a badass mech pilot or am I trying to Catch 'Em All?
|GR Lays The Smackdown!|
From: "Ben Griffey" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: stop sending mail
u better stop sending junk mail or come kiss the rock's ass
Look, "Ben Griffey"...or,
should we say, "Duane
Johnson", we know you're upset after losing the belt to out-of-shape
Mick Foley. But is that any reason to get all
vulgar and profane?
I mean, we smell what you're
cooking, but we don't think
that threatening a group of Doritos-munching gaming geeks is gonna do
much in the way of impressing your peers.
You don't need to take out
your anger on us just because you got sand in your eye from working
on The Mummy Returns. Next
time Duane, Know Your Role!
|Halo, Armpits & Juvenility.|
From: "Tecno Beer" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: Halo and MGS2 Demo
Is Halo still coming out for the PC? Do you know the
release date? Although I havn't played it myself, a friend
informs me that the woman from the playable Metal Gear
Solid 2 demo has hairy armpits. That sounds pretty nasty.
Please tell Hideo Kojima to cut this out of the final
American version of MGS2, assuming it's true. That type
of crap might fly over in Japan or France but not over here.
- Is Halo still coming out for the PC?
Yep. At least they haven't
officially canned it yet.
- Do you know the release date?
Yeah right. Bungie
doesn't even know the release date.
And there's nothing wrong
with hairy armpits, dude. Believe it or not, everyone has hairy armpits,
even beautiful women. See, they shave it. And who knows? One
day you'll be old enough to shave. Maybe.
|A+ Or S?|
From: "Eric K." (***@shol.com)
Subject: what up bitches
hey, just curious.... did any game for any platform
every get an A+ from you guys? If you had amniesia,
and collected some kind of disablility, how would you
remeber to pick up your check???
Nope, no A+ yet. We haven't
played a flawless game, though Spice
World came close by getting an S.
Your riddle is almost a good
one, grasshopper, but you forget about a little thing called the MAIL.
|Consoling The Linux Users.|
From: HoCkEyMuNkEE (***@aol.com)
HEY GUYS I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS COMPARING INDREMA TO X-BOX.
HERE ARE THE SPECS GIVIN FOR BOTH SYSTEMS IN A MAGAZINE
750 MHZ CPU 733 MHZ CPU
300 MHZ GPU 300 MHZ GPU
96MBS OF TOTAL MEMORY 64MBS OF TOTAL MEMORY
4X DVD DRIVE 5X DVD DRIVE
10 GIG HARD DRIVE 8 GIG HARD DRIVE
PROGRESSIVE SCAN DVD DVD MOVIE PLAYBACK
BROADBAND CONNECTIVITY BROAD-BAND READY
HDTV SUPPORT LIMITED HDTV SUPPORT
PERSONAL TV (LIKE TIVO)
NOW I KNOW U KNOW ABOUT THE XBOX SPECS BUT WITH INDREMA SLATED
TO RELEASE THIS SUMMER, OR SO THIS MAGAZINE SAID, I HAVE NOT
FOUND ANY INFO ON THE SYSTEM AT YOUR SITE AND SINCE U GUYS ARE
ALWAYS THE BEST PLACE TO COME FOR INFO I WAS WONDERING WHY DONT
U HAVE ANY ON THIS SYSTEM?
Hello Mr Munkee,
Gazing into our mystical
inflatable Kirby ball, GR long ago predicted
that Indrema would never see the light of day. And
much to the delight of our already overblown egos, we were right!
Indeed, the Linux system
is no more, and we can't help but say we told you so! Er, not
that we really told anybody anything. Okay fine, so we didn't
tell you so.
Still, it pains us to think
about all those unhappy Linux faces. Okay fine, maybe "pains"
isn't the right word. Change that to "makes us laugh hysterically."
Is anyone actually surprised?
The guys producing the thing had very little money, very few resources
and nearly no big developers lined up. I mean, the machine was slated
to only run Linux games. Um, huh?
We have nothing against Linux
users, but we just thought it kind of funny that anyone expected this
machine to come to fruition.
Ah heck, read
the whole sordid disgusting tale. And remember that though we didn't
tell you so, we didn't buy into the hype, either.
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