Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that. It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece. I strongly recommend anyone...
Lets say for a second that one of the reviewers were
being stalked (Hypothetically, or course) how would
they defend themselves? Do they know karate, carry
pepper spray or what?
Dear Concerned Reader,
That's a very good question,
as GR reviewers are often the subject of stalkers. Especially poor
But Karate? No, no - too
much work with the kicking and the chopping and flipping and the ear-piercing
"Hiyas!" Ugh, how annoying!
We consider bribery our first
line of defense. And if that doesn't work, we could always call our
friends from Shaolin Temple.
If all else fails, we could
just sic our faithful beast
From: "Greg McGraw"
Subject: what the hell do you guys do over there?
I have noticed how your mailbag, while it is supposed to
be updated on monday, is often not updated until tuesday.
And I've noticed that the page updates usually aren't made
until about three o'clock PST. What are you guys doing over
there thats so damn important you can't update until three
I know what you wanna say, too. "Oh, it's such hard work
being a game reviewer. It's just work work work work work."
Suuuuuurre. We all know you're just sitting there, playing
games and drinking Mountain Dew and eating Doritos, and
living it up on your salaries that you pool together in
order to afford junk food. And unlike most of us, YOUR
crappy video games are sent to you for free
You seem to know a lot about
us, Mr. Smarty Pants. But for your information, the proper art of Doritos
and Mountain Dew consumption takes years of cultivation and commitment.
The angle of the chip and the cheese powder density can take an hour
to figure out.
(SAS) from your 10th grade Geometry class? No? Well that's why we're
the editors here.
Isosceles Dorito chips are
very rare and require special atttention. But you wouldn't know that,
would you? You probably just thrust them into your mouth without a second
thought. These computations require patience and concentration. You
just can't rush something this good.
So you see, things take time.
We begin the updates after Counter-Strike,
Doritos, Mountain Dew, this month's swimsuit models, kung-fu hour, nap
time, Nerf hoop play time and lunch. A few uploads, then it's recreational
break time where we lounge around playing those crappy games we didn't
have to pay for.
P.S. We were lying about
the Nerf hoop.
Oh What A Feelin'!
i was just curious. whats the company car if you guys have one ?
lol just curious.
You haven't seen the GR company
car? We're the envy of
every editor when we pull up at a press event in this fine chariot.
Often we can look out the window of the heavily fortified GR palace
and spy guys sitting on it or standing near it in hopes that some young
damsel will think that it's their's.
It does have one or two small
scratches, but they're barely noticeable.
The Difference Between Us & Them!
GameRevolution.com! You guys give the worst opinions and reviews.
You review the worst PC hardware in the world AND STILL people visit
your site! IGN is a much better site! GameRevolution! It should be
Apparently, a brand new Geforce
3 card is one the worst pieces of PC hardware in the world. Who
knew? Either this guy has not seen the Intensor
gaming chair or he knows something we don't.
You're right! IGN is a much
better site than ours...for DVDs, those much needed WWF news breaks,
anime, who died in Hollywood today, and of course, soft
That's why we don't directly
compete with IGN. They do their thing and we write informative,
funny and insightful reviews.
hey I was wondering since people can give you viruses
on your pc, and the new consoles that are coming out
are going to have internet availability or will have
in the future. then can your console get a virus and
screw the thing up or will they have anti-viruses be
built in,or can this even happen or will it be come a
Good question! You guys are
really gettting the hang of this.
True, in the near future
home consoles will have significant online components. However, this
fact alone doesn't really make them a viable target for viruses.
Most viruses use your e-mail
as a vehicle into your hard drive. They come packed as attachments,
then some dummy decides to open up "FReeSex.gif.pdf.exe" and
whammo! - some wicked trojan/worm rewrites your .bat files, sends itself
to your 'Buddy' list and all hell breaks loose.
Also, most viruses are programmed
to attack specific things in specific operating softwares. As of yet
there has been no word about e-mail playing any part in the operation
of the new Interent-ambitious consoles systems. So the possibility of
viruses plaguing our favorite nerdy pasttime is very slim.
Theoretically, in the future
you could have an Xbox email account that allows you to download attachments,
and that would increase the likelihood of possibly receiving a virus.
But remember there would have to be some a**hole who decides to take
the time to program such a virus to attack your particular console.