GR Mailbag: Postage Should Be Necessary

From: ********@aol.com
Subject: PS2 or Xbox
I say that Xbox is better he says that PS2 is better and it makes 
me angry when this happens. Do you have any suggestions on 
what I could say or do to him to make him realize the truth.

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

Hmmm...how to get your friend to "realize the truth." Creepy. Didn't this guy try that?

Still, the toothpicks in the eyes seemed to work well on our friend Alex, so maybe that, coupled with about 24 nonstop hours of Halo, would make a believer out of him. Or burn his copy of GTA 3, pronto.

-GR

From: "Allen and Sandra Robertson" <**********@hotmail.com>
Subject: XBOX INFORMATION

Dear Gamerevolution Staff,
  
Is it true, that for Xbox that you can buy some kind of special
hardrive chip, making able for you to play PS2 games in your
Xbox system? If so, how would that special chip cost? Because,
I'm trying to figure out which one I want, PS2 or Xbox.
  
It would be greatly appreciated If you responed soon.
  
                                   Thank You,
  
- Ian Robertson 

Dear Ian,

We're going to go with a big NO on this one. Call it gut instinct, or maybe that fact that this would be such a horrendously illegal thing that Sony would sue the pants off of any one even pretending to talk about it. So shush.

-GR

From: "Random D'Alder"  
Subject: Intelligent Mail

I read last weeks (4/29) and was quite pleased with
the questioning of certain...artistic issues. Now I'm
not the best speller myself, but I think it's
important to make an effort. And by the way, as only a
recent GR site-goer, why in the world do you paste
such weird pictures under the names of the game
reviewers? Are you all slightly bent?

Random

Dear Random,

Why thanks! Yeah, we feel that basic spelling and grammar skills are sadly overlooked, as evidenced by the incredibly rough e-mail we receive here on a daily basis. A typo is one thing, but replacing every "S" with a "Z" is another.

-GR, who totlly onwz j00, biznitch.

P.S. We're not bent, we're broken.

From: Matt Franson 
Subject: grammar and subscriptions

ok, i have been a reader of your site for a long time. 
but with all the new consoles and games coming out, your 
site just doesnt give me the info i need!  i am an ign 
insider also, $25 a year, wow what an investment!!!!
you guys just dont supply the info i need anymore, your 
reviews still kick major ass though (even though you do 
only update once a week).  

i just got done reading your mailbag, and had to chucle 
to myself when i read the e-mail about bad grammar and 
how people on the internet have no education.  as you can 
tell in my letter, i dont use correct punctuation and 
dont even spell all words right.  i do however, get 
straight As in english (honors i might add). since i 
dont capitalize words in an informal e-mail does that 
make me dumb and uneducated? now if i was writing a 
formal e-mail to you, i would prolly check over my 
spelling and put it in the correct format.  do you 
care? now that i dont capatalize words do you think im 
stupid?  

keep up with the great reviews and lay off the pointless 
remarks about perfect english.

Dear Matt,

Juste two proof are pointe, were wrighting yu bak misseplling everey wurd. Dose itt mayke uss luk dummb? Hay, wee gett strate A's iN skool two soo r wee dummb? wee thinq itt maykes uss lok stoopid whut doo yu thinke?

-RG

From: ******@aol.com
Subject: Bile


Dear GR --

    I am sick to death of hearing people bitch and 
moan about the size of the X-Box controller.   I find 
the Playstation and GameCube controllers to be 
pint-sized and foolishly designed; the standard X-Box 
controller, in contrast, is actually substantial.  You 
don't have to worry if you accidentally drop it.  It 
reminds me of the old Genesis controller.  The other 
controllers are perfect if you are 6 or have surgeon's 
fingers, but most other people are at a distinct 
disadvantage.
    Why you would recommend the Type S controller to 
anyone is beyond me.  Is this thing really necessary?  
For some reason I don't think the majority of gamers 
have extrodinarily large hands, but it is my experience 
that the normal controller is managable.   Forty dollars 
is better spent on something worthy, like Mr. T or a DVD 
copy of the Outlaw Josey Wales.  Something that shows 
you've got some balls.  Not some fruity little Ms. 
version of the X-Box controller.  
    Better yet, if you've got enough cash to burn it not 
only on an X-Box but also on a midget controller, just 
give me the $40.  I'll bust your standard controller 
apart, and you can use your geek knowledge to rewire it 
into as small a control pad as you see fit.  Everyone 
walks away happy.

Remember what Rambo says:

    "I could've killed them all.  I could've killed you.
In town you're the law, out here it's me.  Don't push it.
Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe.  
Let it go.  Let it go."

These are words to live by.

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

First off, we're impressed that you write so well...for a BIGFOOT. We figured those enormous hands of yours would make it hard to type without smashing all the keys, but your letter is pretty clean. Perhaps you took some typing lessons after making all that money from your old TV show and line of action figures.

However, we think you're sort of missing the fact that just about everyone else in the world - everyone who isn't an Abominable Snowman like yourself - finds the Xbox controller to be rather large. Though it's great for basketball stars and Marlon Brando, it's too heavy for the rest of us.

The Controller S is a terrific alternative for all of us human gamers with normal sized hands, not to mention the human children with even smaller hands. It's compact without losing any of the good, solid bits of the original.

But to each his reach, and if you like the enormo standard controller, then have fun. Just don't invite us over to your house for any gaming.

-GR