March 2014: Buy, Try, or Die
[Update: Short List Added] A full release list for March, including Titanfall, MGS: Ground Zeroes, BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea Part 2, and inFAMOUS: Second Son.
MOST POPULAR FEATURES21 Greatest Pokémon of All Time
Can you believe there are now six generations of Pokémon? Six!! That's a crazy amount of different creatures to collect. But which are the cream of the crop? Don't worry, Magikarp isn't actually one of them.
[Yep, I flipped the image... see what I did there? Ed. Nick]
I was not originally a fan of FFVII ; in fact, I remember looking at the commercials in the '90s and finally purchasing the game only to realize the commercials only showed CGI scenes. I was young and needless to say...
From: ??? (****@aol.com)
You SONS OF B!+**ES FROM GAME REVOLUTION, I don't freakin'
care if you bann me from the website for swearing, I am just
going to speak what you mot+****ers deserve.
How dare you make fun of the best game in the world.
Of Shenmue. You are not only making fun of the game, you are
making fun of the company and the staff who made the game.
I saw your st**pid " Penny ...thingie",
that just made me want to beat your @$$ down. If you don't
know why he does something like going to the arcade, then
don't f***ng mess with it. I have always hated your
F****ng website, because you always say bad things about
SEGA. But now, and you always advocate the NINTENDO and
SONY, now, I am not even going to think about coming here
any f****ng more.
Dear Anonymous Writer,
Does anyone get the feeling
that some of our readers are wound just a little too tight? What's
with this guy?
Before you go and get the
crap beat out of you by the honorable Tycho and Gabe (the Penny
Arcade guys) for insulting their comic strip, you should settle
To clarify, Penny Arcade
is its own website. We just syndicate the strip because we think they're
a crack-up and we want people to see 'em. I believe they were poking
fun at how incredibly vast the game is, which, in an adventure
game, is a good thing.
So take a Valium and enjoy
the game. That's what we're doing.*
* GR does not advocate
taking Valium without a doctor's permission. If you can't get permission,
we advise faking your doctor's signature.
From: "Jack Garfinkel" (********@hotmail.com)
Subject: x box
people hate microsoft. it would give many people much
pleasure to see mr gates have his vital organs force fed
to him, creating an symphony of pain in a never ending
cycle on consumption and regeneration. People buy/pirate
windows because they have to you. I put it to the staff
at game revolution that people will not buy the X box
because they wish to kick gates in the nads.
those are my thoughts.
"mock me not and ye shalt have no fear".
not drinking tea in the UK.
Wow! Did Bill Gates steal
your favorite Pokemon or something? What's with all the hostility toward
Frankly, I don't care how
Bill runs his business. It's not like I work for Netscape. If
getting high-quality games on a home console like the Xbox means that
I have to become a whore for Microsoft, I only have one question.
"Does this thong come
in blue, Mr. Gates?"
The Silver Lining
From: ??? (of course) (****@pathcom.com)
Subject: If I wanted your opinion....
Just read review of "Wild Wild Racing" for PS2.
I come to GR for game reviews, not op-ed pieces.
I'm especially not interested in an Asian telling me how
stupid George W. Bush is, and conversely (by intimation),
how wonderful Al Gore is. Newsflash for you boys.....
The Peoples Republic of China is gearing up for a
major war with America, and under the Clinton-Gore
administration, they have been allowed to steal our
nuclear secrets, survey our military installations and
observe our military personnel, in regards to their
combat readiness and general morale. Since you fellas
are young enough to be drafted for this imminent war,
and will be facing soldiers armed with technology
stolen from America, you might want to pause the next
time Comrade Johnny lauds the men who painted a bullseye
on your ass.
Just a thought.
Yes. It's true. You have
discovered "Comrade" Liu's dirty little secret.
When we found him, he was
building a railroad in subhuman conditions. We rescued him, then chained
him up again to review video games - fun video games, like Tonic
Trouble and The Ring.
But over the years, Johnny
Liu's influence has subjugated us. Confucius just has so much to teach
and say. And Communism is nifty. And we don't mind him painting bulleyes
on our asses. We kinda like them.
P.S. By the way, Johnny isn't
Asian. He's Irish. But even if he was Asian (which he's not, since he's
Norwegian), why must the validity of his political beliefs hinge on
his ethnicity? Believe it or not, some women (just like Johnny) voted
for Bush, despite the fact that he's anti-abortion. And they're entitled
to do so. Johnny is
a red-blooded Mexican-American, and his opinions are based in much deeper
waters than his racial status.
And it's not easy for the
guy, considering how his ancestors came from a small village in Poland,
only to arrive in America to face racial discrimination just because
they were Turkish. How would you feel , growing up as the son of an
Romanian baker, forced to go to a public school 50 miles away because
the local private school didn't accept applications from Eskimos? He
should be applauded for standing up for the rights of all Canadians.
From: "???" (*****@cs.com)
Subject: i dont know
uhh,it told me to send this so i did
Hey Mr. Anonymous,
back again? Do you do everything that bad Stephen King movies suggest?
We Don't Need No Stinking Crystal Ball.
From: Nathan Hayman (*******@mail.com)
Subject: PS2 this PS2 that ..... huh?
hey GR staff wat^up i know u guys dont have alot of time, well
actually u could i donno but on ur site all i see is PS2 this
and PS2 taht but i never see Gamecube this and MS X-box that i
know PS2 is amazing but look right now there games are horrible
that are unoriginal geez i liek la systems yes including nintendo
sre nintendo aint super great but it has its moments.
another thing is x-box i dont want u to tell me u dont have
enough info to do wumthing on it cause theres ton's but still
all i here is PS2 i like sony but right now :( they sux they
wont be good for a long while,like when the x-box and Gamecube
i think sony is doing this because they want to have a market
when nintendo and microsoft come out. so stop being bias and
put micrsoft up on ur site for once they have a chance and ive
seen video of there system hardware at work so plz plz plz plz
Hello Nathan Hayman:í¯Â¿Â½,
We only review games and systems that are currently available for retail.
GR does not know what GameCube
or Xbox will bring to the table a year from now. Nor do we particularly
care to waste our time propogating grandiose promises of gaming nirvana
(though we are extremely excited). We can't time travel like those other
GR is concerned with what
is available, hence all the Playstation 2 coverage. You
find us a nice affordable Time Machine and we'll tell everyone about
the Y-box, the GamePentagon and the Playstation 4.
But until then, we're stuck
in the present, and presently, games and systems are looking damn fine.