GR Mailbag: Put Down That Silly 'Magic' 8-Ball..

From: ??? (****@aol.com)
Subject: You........
You SONS OF B!+**ES FROM GAME REVOLUTION, I don't freakin' 
care if you bann me from the website for swearing, I am just 
going to speak what you mot+****ers deserve. 
How dare you make fun of the best game in the world. 
Of Shenmue. You are not only making fun of the game, you are 
making fun of the company and the staff who made the game. 
I saw your st**pid " Penny ...thingie", 
that just made me want to beat your @$$ down. If you don't 
know why he does something like going to the arcade, then 
don't f***ng mess with it.  I have always hated your 
F****ng website, because you always say bad things about 
SEGA. But now, and you always advocate the NINTENDO and 
SONY, now, I am not even going to think about coming here 
any f****ng more.

Does anyone get the feeling that some of our readers are wound just a little too tight? What's with this guy?

Before you go and get the crap beat out of you by the honorable Tycho and Gabe (the Penny Arcade guys) for insulting their comic strip, you should settle down, Beavis.

To clarify, Penny Arcade is its own website. We just syndicate the strip because we think they're a crack-up and we want people to see 'em. I believe they were poking fun at how incredibly vast the game is, which, in an adventure game, is a good thing.

Shenmue is a great game. We think so, Penny Arcade thinks so, and apparently you think so as well.

So take a Valium and enjoy the game. That's what we're doing.*

-GR

* GR does not advocate taking Valium without a doctor's permission. If you can't get permission, we advise faking your doctor's signature.

From: "Jack Garfinkel" (********@hotmail.com)
Subject: x box
people hate microsoft. it would give many people much 
pleasure to see mr gates have his vital organs force fed 
to him, creating an symphony of pain in a never ending 
cycle on consumption and regeneration. People buy/pirate 
windows because they have to you. I put it to the staff 
at game revolution that people will not buy the X box 
because they wish to kick gates in the nads.
those are my thoughts.
"mock me not and ye shalt have no fear".
yours,
govnor.
not drinking tea in the UK.

Wow! Did Bill Gates steal your favorite Pokemon or something? What's with all the hostility toward Microsoft?

Not to be the bearer of bad tidings, but Microsoft has put out some excellent games recently. Starlancer, Crimson Skies, Age of Empires II...and that's not to mention the upcoming beauties like Freelancer, Dungeon Siege, and of course, Halo.

Frankly, I don't care how Bill runs his business. It's not like I work for Netscape. If getting high-quality games on a home console like the Xbox means that I have to become a whore for Microsoft, I only have one question.

"Does this thong come in blue, Mr. Gates?"

-GR

From: ??? (of course) (****@pathcom.com)
Subject: If I wanted your opinion....
Just read review of "Wild Wild Racing" for PS2.
I come to GR for game reviews, not op-ed pieces.
I'm especially not interested in an Asian telling me how 
stupid George W. Bush is, and conversely (by intimation), 
how wonderful Al Gore is.  Newsflash for you boys.....
The Peoples Republic of China is gearing up for a 
major war with America, and under the Clinton-Gore 
administration, they have been allowed to steal our 
nuclear secrets, survey our military installations and 
observe our military personnel, in regards to their 
combat readiness and general morale. Since you fellas 
are young enough to be drafted for this imminent war, 
and will be facing soldiers armed with technology 
stolen from America, you might want to pause the next 
time Comrade Johnny lauds the men who painted a bullseye 
on your ass.
Just a thought.

Yes. It's true. You have discovered "Comrade" Liu's dirty little secret.

When we found him, he was building a railroad in subhuman conditions. We rescued him, then chained him up again to review video games - fun video games, like Tonic Trouble and The Ring.

But over the years, Johnny Liu's influence has subjugated us. Confucius just has so much to teach and say. And Communism is nifty. And we don't mind him painting bulleyes on our asses. We kinda like them.

-GR

P.S. By the way, Johnny isn't Asian. He's Irish. But even if he was Asian (which he's not, since he's Norwegian), why must the validity of his political beliefs hinge on his ethnicity? Believe it or not, some women (just like Johnny) voted for Bush, despite the fact that he's anti-abortion. And they're entitled to do so. Johnny is a red-blooded Mexican-American, and his opinions are based in much deeper waters than his racial status.

And it's not easy for the guy, considering how his ancestors came from a small village in Poland, only to arrive in America to face racial discrimination just because they were Turkish. How would you feel , growing up as the son of an Romanian baker, forced to go to a public school 50 miles away because the local private school didn't accept applications from Eskimos? He should be applauded for standing up for the rights of all Canadians.

From: "???" (*****@cs.com)
Subject: i dont know
uhh,it told me to send this so i did

Ahhhh! It's back again? Do you do everything that bad Stephen King movies suggest?

-GR

From: Nathan Hayman (*******@mail.com)
Subject: PS2 this PS2 that ..... huh?
hey GR staff wat^up i know u guys dont have alot of time, well 
actually u could i donno but on ur site all i see is PS2 this 
and PS2 taht but i never see Gamecube this and MS X-box that i 
know PS2 is amazing but look right now there games are horrible 
that are unoriginal geez i liek la systems yes including nintendo 
sre nintendo aint super great but it has its moments.
another thing is x-box i dont want u to tell me u dont have 
enough info to do wumthing on it cause theres ton's but still 
all i here is PS2 i like sony but right now :( they sux they 
wont be good for a long while,like when the x-box and Gamecube 
are released 
i think sony is doing this because they want to have a market 
when nintendo and microsoft come out. so stop being bias and 
put micrsoft up on ur site for once they have a chance and ive 
seen video of there system hardware at work so plz plz plz plz 

GR does not know what GameCube or Xbox will bring to the table a year from now. Nor do we particularly care to waste our time propogating grandiose promises of gaming nirvana (though we are extremely excited). We can't time travel like those other sites.

GR is concerned with what is available, hence all the Playstation 2 coverage. You find us a nice affordable Time Machine and we'll tell everyone about the Y-box, the GamePentagon and the Playstation 4.

But until then, we're stuck in the present, and presently, games and systems are looking damn fine.

It's a good time to be a geek.

-GR

P.S. Just to prove that we are not complete Nazis, here are links to GameCube and Microsoft X-Box stuff.