GR Mailbag: Putting The Ail In Mail!
Posted on Monday, March 18 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
| Clubber Lang For President! |
From: "Mr T" |
| Fair Zombie Representation And Other Undead Thoughts |
From: *********@aol.com
Subject: the resident evil movie!
Dear Gr,
Unboubtably by now u have seen the resident evil movie.
And it is by far the best game to movie ever! the movie
was a million times scarier than the game will ever be
and i cant wait to buy that sh*t on DVD, hey that rhymes.
Anyway this question is for zombie duke. Zombie duke,
did u think that the portrial in this film was an
accurate assesment of zombies. Also send out the message
that the movie, contrary to some belifes, DID NOT SUCK!
Every gamer should know that after such crap video game
based movies like tron, or the last star fighter theres
is a good video game movie!
Sincerly,
Jeff
|
Hi Jeff,
While our zombie friends
once again stole the show with their formidable acting talents, I feel
that the movie did little to move them out of their standard, typecast
roles. Why must zombies always be portrayed as second-class citizens
just waiting to be shot? Where are the zombie
doctors? Why don't they show our heroic zombie
firefighters?
And I must disagree with
you about the classic movie Tron.
Besides, it's not really a fair comparison. Like The Last Starfighter,
The Wizard
and Wargames,
Tron was a movie that had video games as a central theme. Tron
was the inspiration for two fine arcade games, and not the other
way around.
Now movies based on video
games, that's a whole different story. From the terrifyingly bad
Tomb Raider to the
terminally putrid Street
Fighter Movie, these flicks have been harmful to all of human society.
Wing Commander, Mortal Kombat, Double Dragon... the list goes
on and on. Just let your friends know that no matter how bad they think
the Resident Evil movie might be, it's much, much better than
Super
Mario Bros. The Movie.
- Zombie Duke |
| Down With Brussels! |
From: "SHARIEF"
Subject: what's the enemy of the xbox?
hai, i just wanted ti ask who the enemy of the xbox is?
i you know that could you send my a email to *********@hotmail.com ,
please ? thanks
|
Hi Sharief,
There is only one enemy,
dear reader...
Belgium.
It's been a while since those
darn Belgians have acted up, but don't think for one minute that they're
not up to something evil. Them and their pesky waffles and chocolate!
Consider this fact: the Belgians
use monks to make beer! Yep! Real monks, making real (good) beer!
Why would they enlist the aid of holy men to make potent libations?
Simple - to brainwash the masses in an attempt to finally take over
the GR compound. They've been pissy ever since we beat their prime minister
in Worms Armageddon.
What was the question again?
-GR |
| And Many Moooore.... |
From: "James Courtney"
Subject: happy birthday to me
Tomorrow is my birthday but if this gets posted then
the word tomorrow in it wont be right, because my
birthday is monday and it said tomorrow so everyone
would think like my birthday was the day after they
read it so like on friday they would think my
birthday was saturday but it would really be on
last monday. Happy birthday to me. Do zombies have
birthdays? I know HTML, VB6, javascript, and Latin.
|
Dear James,
Happy Birthday! Zombies don't
have birthdays, silly. They have deathdays! They celebrate
the day they passed on to the other side. But instead of eating cake,
they eat brains. Instead of candles, they put little brains in their
brain cake. Then they give each other brains as presents, play pin-the-tail-on-the-brains
and everyone goes home with a gift bag filled with brains. And dirt.
Pax vobiscum,
GR |
| Really Really Real. |
From: "Kyle Woolsey"
Subject: CStrike Upgrade
Hello GR
I have been coming to this site for a damn long time
but have never felt the need to write to you. Well my
friends those days have come to an end. Maybe it's
just the drugs and alcohol talking; who knows?
Anyways, my comment is about the new CS 3.0 Realism
Update. And my comments are mainly directed towards
those of you who have given up on CS or think it's
crappy. This update kicks some serious goat anus!
The sounds, player models, weapon models,
EVERYTHING KICKS GOAT ANUS! It's a whole new style
for CS with the same goat anus kicking gameplay.
If you have a fast computer, download this upgrade!
It rules! And kicks huge goat anus all the way from
Bangladesh to Cuba. Am I the only one who thinks so?
|
Hi Kyle,
We totally agree, except
for the whole goat anus thing, and for that we advise getting some counseling
or buying a dictionary. But anyway, yeah the Realism Patch for CS is
outstanding and adds tons of life to the game. For those of you who
have yet to check it out, stop reading and start surfing to the GR
download page.
-GR |
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