GR Mailbag: Return To Sender
Posted on Monday, July 30 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
From: Daniel clausen
Why the hex did u give urban chaos a c???!I know it's
a old game but it rules!you guys Give all the good games
c's d's and f's www.Gamewinners.com is way better than
you guys! I don't know what rating they gave it but it's
probley better than yours!
First off, we gave Urban
Chaos a C because we were being NICE. It's barely that good.
While we appreciate Gamewinners
as well, we're a little confused. As far as we can tell, they just do
codes. Here's a quote from their main page:
"You won't find our
efforts diluted by in-house reviews, previews, or editorials."
Just a guess here, but
that's probably why you don't know what rating they gave the game.
|Do Not Feed The Editors!|
From: "ben norman"
Dear game revolution,
While searching through my daily check of updates on
your site, i suddenyl noticed that i never have clicked
on any of your links like the ones in bloody roar 3.
I was very amused by them but then a thought came to
me.....where the heck do u get all those weird pictures
on your site from. Do u have some kind of zoo in your
offices keeping trained animals? Please write back
A GR Zoo? Heck no. That would
be horribly unfair to the animals, as they'd have to suffer through
the fumes of open cans of Mountain Dew, slip on empty bags of Doritos
and sleep through late-night GR opium parties.
But we do have a new testing
lab where we ethically experiment with new,
deadly attack beasties. Pssst....DON'T TELL BELGIUM.
|Yeah, But Just Wait 'Til The Candy Convention.|
From: PJ Hendee
Subject: How come you didnt have those adventures?
Ok, i was reading the "badcandy.com" website and i hit
this link about there trip to E3. I easily lost myself
in their adventure through E3 and after about an hour,
i was like, how come GR didnt have that cool of a time
as those BadCandy people? How come a video game site
didnt have as good of a time at E3 than a bad candy
reviewing site? And WHY THE HELL DO GAME CREATORS NOT
MAKE GAMES FOR THE MAC?????
The BadCandy guys review
candy. E3 is filled with games. So when they go to E3
did they get in?), they can just wander around chatting up booth
babes, poking fun at geekier geeks and spending inordinate amounts of
time trying to score tickets to the various shindigs. Maybe they threatened
Sony with some Happy
We don't have the luxury
to just meander around looking for wacky adventures, since we actually
have to come back and report on all the crap we had to stare at. We
don't think it would be very interesting reading about Ben's adventure's
at E3, for instance, unless you're fascinated by massive scheduling
conflicts, cramped meeting rooms, wickedly overpriced cheeseburgers
and gin-inspired hangovers.
|Then, Just Add Water!|
From: "Robin Jyson"
I know 20 people who have tried to get themselves into the
infamous Game-revolution mailbag - but they never succeeded.
Like what proportion of your incoming mail do you put in.
Do the mails have to match some specific criteria, do u pick
them at random, are you just god Damn Lazy and do't read
them all. What do we people have to do to get our mails
published. I would now like to say that we wont participate
in sexual favours withthe GR crew unless you have beautiful
ladies among you.
An Angry Customer/reader whatever
"What do we have to
do to get our mails published?" you ask? Just follow these 4 simple
1. Come up with a brilliant
2. Discredit said theory by misspelling every other word.
3. Tell us how our Final
Fantasy 7 review "blows (insert body part here)."
4. Send us a picture like
5. Good old fashioned luck.
|For Once, It Ain't Our Fault|
A while ago (maybe a year ago), I typed in
www.gamerevolution.com, by mistake, missing out the "-".
But as soon as I realised by error, about a thousand porn
sites started to pop up at the same time. I have no prob
with internet porn as me and my dad ussually engage in
looking up young teens (sssh! My mum doesnt know!!). But
unfortunately my strict mother was in the living room at
the same time (comps in livin room). Unfortunately after
she spotted me she put me through 3 months of back breaking
labour, and I don't have my squeaky clean image any more.
I want compensation from game-revolution (I know its a bit
late), for this, as last week I typed in www.gamerevolution.com,
but there was no porn so I assume, the above server was
always yours but you had engaged in dealing porn over the
net, instead of providing strict unbiased gaming news and
reviews. I await your reply and compensation for my "lost
squeaky clean identity".
An angry customer
didn't type in gamerevolution.com, because as far as we know that's
never been a porn site (unless you consider nude baby pictures of Duke
pornography). But gamesrevolution.com, on the very dirty other
hand, is an entirely different sort of beast. We didn't link that up
because we love our readers. It's awful pop-up hell, and there's just
nothing we can do about it.
That's a sad
truth about the Internet: the very freedom that makes it such a valuable
resource also makes it a prime target for smarmy, money grubbing buttheads.
In addition to driving you guys nuts because - God forbid - you misspelled
a word, these claim jumpers only serve to propagate the theory that
the Internet is filled with incompetent swindlers who try to
make a living off your mistakes.
We take issue
with that. We're not incompetent!