GR Mailbag: Saving The Universe & Answering Your Mail!

From: ? 
Subject: hello
how do you guys figure out all these codes?

Simple. First we divine the celestial patterns found on old acid-washed jeans from the late 80's. Then we apply our auras to the energy of the game, undulating within its electrical pulses in order to tap into its chakrah. Provided Moon is in the Seventh House, we can unlock the mysteries of the game through intense Shiatsu work.

Or we try Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A. Worked for Gradius!

-GR

From: "Tecno Beer" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: Who would win?
Solid Snake Vs. Snake Plisken
Mario Vs. Metal Gear
Canada Vs. Belgium
Bill Gates' Robot Army Vs. Mr.T

Solid Snake Vs. Snake Plisken:
Maybe Solid Snake, but first he'd have to shut off that damn codec thingy so all those people back at the command center won't be nagging him like a bunch of bored housewives.

Mario Vs. Metal Gear:
Mario. Spicy meat-a-balls!

Canada Vs. Belgium:
What's the difference? (here comes the hate mail!)

Bill Gates' Robot Army Vs. Mr.T:
I thought Mr. T was Bill Gates' Robot Army!

-GR

From: "Morphine" (***@yahoo.com)
Subject: Its time to Rate GR
Hey GR Staff,
You guys like to Grade other peoples work and
critisize, but how about you? You can give, but can
you take?
Its time for Morphine to stop taking all this @#!@$%
from my parents and let out my rage!!!(Ya thats right
skiping Spanish, so what got something better to do?)
Game-Revolution
A** (No +)
+ Excellent Humor!!!!
+ Grades to classify games
+ Codes Work!!!!
+ Something to do instead of Spanish
- Can't moon Spanish teacher
- No porno (could get some in ads)
- B+ for Final Fantasy VII?!?!?!?
What do you care anyway? You already 
trashed my e-mail. (I really need some 
attention before my brains get all over 
my bathroom wall)
-Morphine

Well done.

However, every GR report card comes with a response from an angry, barely literate reader who completely disagrees with the review. So allow us to retort...

"You only give GR an A?!? You guyss suck. GR gits a 'A'?! That's the bestest website ever. All my freinds use GR and they say Game Revolution is the bestest on the internet, so how can you give it a simpel A. That site is worthy of an A+ so plaease change your grade. Poooop!"

There. Now it's official.

-GR

From: "Chris Dowling" (***@bigpond.com.au)
Subject: letter to Hideo Kojima
Dear Game-Revolution,
Is it possible to write a letter or send an E-Mail to Hideo Kojima 
(The man behind Metal Gear Solid)?If so can you please send me his 
address?
Yours Sincerely, Chris Dowling

Sure, but not through e-mail!

First you need to use your codec to contact Mei Ling (140.96). Give her your Fox Hound Username and she will promptly patch you through to Hideo Kojima.

I would wait until after 6 pm. The codec rates are much cheaper in the evening.

-GR

From: Peter (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: review the 3dfx Voodoo5 5500
I was wondering if you guys are gonna review the voodoo5 video 
card. I'm quite curious what you think about it. I just ordered 
one online and I wonder if u think I did a wise thing.
I love your site, keep up the good work.
Peter

It's true, GR has not reviewed the latest video card from 3Dfx (Voodoo5 5500)...nor do we regret it.

We were waiting out for the the big Voodoo 6000, which has since been scrapped along with any other consumer level video card by 3Dfx.

The V5 is a great card, but we just prefer the all-encompassing compatibility of the NVIDIA chipset boards (we love you, GeForce 2). OpenGL and D3D are handled excellently.

3Dfx uses their "Glide" as an API which has more incompatibilty issues than a Computer Currents subscription.

-GR

P.S. We also like NVIDIA because they send us Snickers, while 3Dfx only sends us Fruit Salted Plum Suckers.