GR Mailbag: Shining The Light Of Hope Into The Shadows Of Geek Life

From: "danny eklund" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: dead links
can you send me some dead links?

Sure Danny,

It's an odd request, but we like to play the part of digital candyman and bring the sunshine whenever possible.

If it's dead links you want, then dead links you get. Just don't use these all in one place.

1. www.dailyradar.com

2. www.gamefan.com

3. www.incite.com

4. www.gamersrepublic.com

- GR

From: "???" (***@aol.com)
Subject: (no subject)
"For those who believe in God, most of the big questions 
are answered. But for those of us who can't readily 
accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain 
stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and 
discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a 
command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are 
here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, 
and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. 
We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the 
odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble 
to take us." - Charles Bukowski
"The Flightless Raven"
Christopher

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

Good quote. We like this one:

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

-GR

From: "Joel Kall" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: (no subject)
hi guys. how about a job? my previous experience includes 
stacking shelves at a general store, working as a 
check-out-chick guy and calling up ex-girlfriends and 
breathing heavily down the phone line. how about a job?
affectionately and sorrowfully,
jk

Dear Joel,

Sorry, but we regret to inform you that all of those positions are currently filled.

Now please stop calling me, Joel. I'm not getting back together with you, you dork.

- GR

P.S. Experience with monkeys, pirates, gorgeous women, gorgeous pirates, kryptonite, barbecue ribs, stuff that glows green in the dark, clown shoes, the mentally ill, starting a car without a key, large safes/plastique and HTML is a plus.

From: "Anthony4" (***@fuse.net)
Subject: YESSSSSS! I love zombies

I love zombies, or more to the point, I like killing 
zombies. You see me and my colleagues travel the world 
killing zombies. If you would kindly give us your address, 
we could come and kill you!

Hey Anthony4,

All of our zombie friends died decades ago. That's why they're zombies.

Besides, zombies are the decomposing glue that keeps this country together. Without revolutionary zombies like our own Zombie Duke, who would be left to eat the brains of stupid people? Speaking of which, LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!

-GR

From: "Liquid Alex" (***@attbi.com) 
Subject: ur so mean waaaaa!lol

I cant beleive it...GTA3 beat MGS2! Were u guys writin 
this review up on new years while drunk?!?!?! GTA3 
wasnt THAT revolutionary!!! it deserved a high grade 
but not game of da year!!! MGS2 rules!!! poor 
Japaneez ppl.

Hi there Liquid,

Being a relative of Liquid Snake and all, we figure you're a little biased. But we'll excuse that and pretend that your argument is valid.

It's also wrong.

MGS 2 is a great game. MGS 2 is an "A" game. But MGS 2 is not the Game of the Year.

Rather than try to explain our decision by criticizing MGS 2 (which we did in the review, by the way), we'll point out once again why there was no game released for any system this year that could compete with GTA 3.

Three huge, working cities to explore. Nearly 100 cars to drive, complete with varying handling, suspension and physics. 73 main missions, plus a plethora of side quests, stunts and rampages, not to mention more Easter eggs than, well, Easter.

But these are just features. The real joy of GTA 3 is the fact that it lets you do whatever the hell you want. Wanna watch guys get into fights in the Red Light District? Go ahead. Wanna drive a garbage truck for a while? Feel free. Wanna pick up a hooker? Provided you have the ID, then be my guest.

At this point, GTA 3 is the most open-ended playground we've ever seen on a console. Go anywhere, do anything. That's Revolutionary, holmes.

Not to take anything away from MGS 2 or THPS 3, but it was never really a contest.

- GR