From: "???" (***@aol.com)
Subject: (no subject)
"For those who believe in God, most of the big questions
are answered. But for those of us who can't readily
accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain
stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and
discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a
command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are
here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state,
and our educational system. We are here to drink beer.
We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the
odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble
to take us." - Charles Bukowski
"The Flightless Raven"
Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,
Good quote. We like this
think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
The Job Market.
From: "Joel Kall" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: (no subject)
hi guys. how about a job? my previous experience includes
stacking shelves at a general store, working as a
check-out-chick guy and calling up ex-girlfriends and
breathing heavily down the phone line. how about a job?
affectionately and sorrowfully,
Sorry, but we regret to inform
you that all of those positions are currently filled.
Now please stop calling me,
Joel. I'm not getting back together with you, you dork.
P.S. Experience with monkeys,
pirates, gorgeous women, gorgeous pirates, kryptonite, barbecue ribs,
stuff that glows green in the dark, clown shoes, the mentally ill, starting
a car without a key, large safes/plastique and HTML is a plus.
Please Stop Killing Dead People.
From: "Anthony4" (***@fuse.net)
Subject: YESSSSSS! I love zombies
I love zombies, or more to the point, I like killing
zombies. You see me and my colleagues travel the world
killing zombies. If you would kindly give us your address,
we could come and kill you!
All of our zombie friends
died decades ago. That's why they're zombies.
Besides, zombies are the
decomposing glue that keeps this country together. Without
revolutionary zombies like our own Zombie Duke, who would be left to
eat the brains of stupid people? Speaking of which, LOOK OUT BEHIND
Stealth Vs. Theft.
From: "Liquid Alex" (***@attbi.com)
Subject: ur so mean waaaaa!lol
I cant beleive it...GTA3 beat MGS2! Were u guys writin
this review up on new years while drunk?!?!?! GTA3
wasnt THAT revolutionary!!! it deserved a high grade
but not game of da year!!! MGS2 rules!!! poor
Hi there Liquid,
Being a relative of Liquid
Snake and all, we figure you're a little biased. But we'll excuse that
and pretend that your argument is valid.
It's also wrong.
MGS 2 is a great game.
MGS 2 is an "A" game. But MGS 2 is not the Game
of the Year.
Rather than try to explain
our decision by criticizing MGS 2 (which we did in the review,
by the way), we'll point out once again why there was no game released
for any system this year that could compete with GTA 3.
Three huge, working cities
to explore. Nearly 100 cars to drive, complete with varying handling,
suspension and physics. 73 main missions, plus a plethora of side quests,
stunts and rampages, not to mention more Easter eggs than, well, Easter.
But these are just features.
The real joy of GTA 3 is the fact that it lets you do whatever
the hell you want. Wanna watch guys get into fights in the Red Light
District? Go ahead. Wanna drive a garbage truck for a while? Feel free.
Wanna pick up a hooker? Provided you have the ID, then be my guest.
At this point, GTA 3
is the most open-ended playground we've ever seen on a console. Go anywhere,
do anything. That's Revolutionary, holmes.
Not to take anything away
from MGS 2 or THPS 3, but it was never really a contest.