GR Mailbag: Stamping Out Evil

To: info@game-revolution.com
From: Sheena WL Williams 
Subject: Problem
I am a kinda serious gamer. I try to keep up with 
the guys and play the new stuff that comes out. I 
have problems with the games. For one I can never 
join the guy talk of how they love the new rounded 
graphics of the VF 4 women, and how great their 
racks look w/o looking crazy or gay (nothings wrong 
with being gay, I'm just not). Also, the game makers
always have women in tiny clothes bouncing around. 
Why not have a guy or two in little shorts with huge 
muscles, to please the female eye ? I vow to make a 
game some day with guys in tiny shorts with huge 
packages and send you a copy.
Live

Dear Sheena,

First off, we tip our hats to you, oh elusive female console action gamer. Your kind is rare - we have sworn to protect your species from all things fluffy and pink.

When the boys start talking about the racks of the women in VF 4, simply remind them that they're talking about the RACKS OF THE WOMEN IN VF4. Gently explain that they aren't real racks. Then, show them a picture of a real person so they know what you're talking about.

You want guys in tight pants? Uh, haven't you noticed the plethora of wrestling games out there? You'll find more man-skin in WWF Raw than a gay porn flick. Maybe.

-GR

To: ben@game-revolution.com
From: **********@aol.com 
Subject: Mean Dad
What would you do if your dad took away your fricken PS2 
and all your games. I can't play any of them. And I am 
grounded too and cannot watch TV and I think I will die. 

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

1. A set of written, printed, or blank pages fastened along one side and encased between protective covers.
2. 1. A printed or written literary work.
   2. A main division of a larger printed or written work: a book of the Old Testament.
3. 1. A volume in which financial or business transactions are recorded.
   2. books Financial or business records considered as a group: checked the expenditures on the books.
4. 1. A libretto.
   2. The script of a play.
5. Book
   1. The Bible.
   2. The Koran.
6. 1. A set of prescribed standards or rules on which decisions are based: runs the company by the book.
   2. Something regarded as a source of knowledge or understanding.
   3. The total amount of experience, knowledge, understanding, and skill that can be used in solving a problem or performing a task: We used every trick in the book to finish the project on schedule.
   4. Informal. Factual information, especially of a private nature: What's the book on him?
7. A packet of like or similar items bound together: a book of matches.
8. A record of bets placed on a race

-GR

From: *********@aol.com 
Subject: Re: Grand tursimo a-spec
In a message dated 3/28/2002 5:50:50 PM Eastern Standard Time, 
http://www.game-revolution.com
do I get anything 4 giving u this code???? 

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

Thanks for sending us that terrific code. What does it do? You get a solid gold coffee mug.

-GR

From: Steven P Greasley 
Subject: 56k
Why is it I've never seen anyone with a 56k modem actually hit 56k? 
Mine connects at about 49k.

Dear Steven,

In the computer world, the speed known as 56k functions like the speed of light in your universe. Data can only approach the speed of 56k, but never reach it. As it gets faster, the data gets infinitely fatter, until it can no longer fit inside the wires.

At 49k, you're pretty fat. Well above the average. Try cutting down on the Doritos and getting a little exercise.

-GR

From: **********@aol.com 
Subject: Campcube
Dear GR,
This may not be the 2 most common things that I can write about,
but truth be told, I have something on my mind. In about 3 
months, my school will be out, and I will be starting sleep 
away camp. This year, I probably wont be doing much, because 
I have outgrown my camper years, and am now a waiter, with 
nothing to do most of the day, except sleep, and serve food. 
So my question is if it is a good thing to get the gamecube 
mobile monitor? I know that there are many releases coming out 
this summer, and if im away, I can buy them, and play them 
without waiting 2 months to buy. I also figure that its 
practicability as being used as a mobile screen for other 
such entertainment devices is very good, but is it worth $150? 
So I ask, is it a good idea to get it, or not?
Thanks,
Harlan 

Dear Harlan,

We're not really fans of mobile monitors here at GR, mainly because it just doesn't seem worth it, considering the expensive price tag. When you add up the cost of the Gamecube and the Mobile Monitor, you wind up with $350. That's a lot of cash considering the system doesn't play DVDs. Unless you're going to be away from your gaming rig for a very, very long time, you might want to just take a few months to reacquaint yourself with other things, like the outside air and the sun and stuff and junk and things. Besides, you can always pick up the games you missed when you return from waiter camp.

-GR