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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437     In all the talk of graphical downgrades no one seems much preoccupied with 'why?'.  Why build something and then proceed to tear it down, piece by piece, in the hope that ever more diminished expectations about the final product won't be severe enough to...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: Taking out the trash one letter at a time

Posted on Monday, March 6 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
Throw Your Hands In The Air!
From: Robert Brewer 
Subject: what I would do for a PSX 2
If you would please send me a PSX 2 with a good sports 
game to play I will invite all of you to a party. My 
parties are good. There will be dancing. Lots and lots 
of dancing. There will be coffee and tea. There will 
be a bear on roller skates. There will be men with no 
coordination juggling. Time will stand still and we 
will play ouji board. The children will all receive a 
free snow-cone. Everyone will get to play a video game 
of their choice. Old men will be able to hit a homerun 
from a major league fast ball thrown by Randy Johnson. 
I promise to buy a magical keg that never runs out and 
I will invite girls who like to kiss. It'll be fun but 
not unless you send me a PSX 2. 
Love,
Hirohito99
Dear Hirohito99,

Hmmm....not a bad offer. What would the rest of you do for a PS2? Send your party invites, bribes, jugglers and sno-cones to info@game-revolution.com. But please, no more kissing girls. We've got plenty of them.

Love,

GR

Steroid Free Geeks
From: none none (*******@yahoo.com)
Why don't you guys have pic's of yourselves on the site?
or is it cuz the flash of the camra will be the only
light you have seen in day?
PS: is a whale-shark a whale or a shark?
Dear none none,

We don't put pics of ourselves on the site because we're too darn handsome. Our rugged yet gentle exteriors, our statuesqe frames, our piercing eyes and well-crafted hairstyles would undermine our efforts. We want you to love us for our minds, not our powerful calves, washboard abs, or bulging biceps. Though love us you will, if you ever catch a glimpse of our jaw-dropping, Hurculean physiques.

We even wear capes.

-GR

P.S. A Whale shark is a shark. It's the word's largest fish. But we could kick its fishy ass any day of the week.

The GR Sims
From: "Paul D. Mills" (*****@home.com)
you should make a patch for the sims where the sims 
walk around naked and you can watch them have sex and they 
can smoke pot and stuff like that
Dear Paul,

You must mean the "GR Office" patch. We're working on it. Don't bogart the chips.

-GR

Fak Boota Yeb
From: "miguel brito" (******@chello.se) 
michel brito vintrosgatan 50 6tr 124 74 bandhagen 08-7490769 
skicka fackta om duke nukem zero hour tack
Dear Miguel,

Very true. Duke Nukem: Zero Hour was pretty fun, but the babes didn't look great. And yes, the levels can get irritating.

-GR

P.S. Zak Feen 8786-776.

Everyone's Out To Get Us
From: *********@pakistanmail.com
Subject: 
I used to be another stupid, slow gangster, but ever 
since I was shot in the leg last week, I´ve been 
hyper-inteligent and able to control your computers 
from anywhere. Give me a bandage, a pack of slim-jims 
and 100.000 dollars or I will delete the entire page 
of www.game-revolution.

A threat? Who do you think shot you in the first place? By the way, you misspelled "intelligent."

-GR

Our Bestest Friend
From: Giancola Nick (*******@videotron.ca)
Subject: MAILBAG BLAH!
Hey!
Well I know u work hard and all so I just wanted 
to offer u a beer...U want one?
Absolutely.

- GR

Tags:   gr mailbag


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