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FEATURED VOXPOP nick_olsen
Welcome home, Mario; we’ve missed you!
By nick_olsen
Posted on 05/13/13
[ Editor's Note: As Nick Olsen is a writer for Theory of Gaming, this won't be counted in the monthly Vox Pop prize. However, it is very much a worthy read. ] By Nick Olsen Co-founder, Theory of Gaming In 1985 Nintendo started a revolution when it...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: Talking Trash

Posted on Wednesday, August 15 @ 12:31:26 Eastern by
Kitchen Products In 21 Century

From: "Garbage Disposer" <*******@chijiang5.com>
Subject:Offer--urgently Garbage Disposer

Dear Manager,

Sorry to bother you.
We are a Chinese professional manufacturer which producing garbage disposer, garbage disposal, garbage processor, food garbage processor, waste management machine, kitchen processor, kitchen waste processor, food waste disposer.
It is one of new products in kitchen of 21 Century, which is installed under the outlet of kitchen sink, it can be effectively grind all kinds of food waste such as bones, fish, eggshells, vegetables scraps, coffee grouds, tea powder, melon rinds, fruit pitscorn cores and so on. It make the food waste break to tiny paste and pellets, then drained away the pipeline, which contuibutes to eliminate peculiar smell and improve our residence environment.
We enclose our latest price list for your reference.
Hope our products can meet your need and we may establish a long-term steady business relationship.

Best regards,
FRUI
YONGKANG FENGRUI ELECTRONIC TECHNOLOGY CO.,LTD ADD: CHANGCHENG INDUSTRIAL ZONE,YONGKANG,ZHEJIANG,CHINA

Mr. Disposer,

You think you can steal all of our jobs? What do you think would happen to the guy who hauls away Anthony's lawn clipping every week? He would be broke, his house would be seized, his life would be ruined.

Besides, you should know that GR's diet is made firmly of a consistent diet of Planters Mixed Nuts, Coke Cola, and pizza. Sometimes wings. And it's funny that you mention that your device can "make the food waste break to tiny paste and pellets, then drained away the pipeline, which contributes to eliminate peculiar smell and improve our residence environment."

I am already capapble of doing this. Your services are not needed. Best regards and YONGKANG TO YOU TOO BUDDY

-GR



Comments
  • moretokes
    moretokes

    Joined: Apr 2011
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
    Too f u c k I n g funny
  • 213EDD
    213EDD

    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 2:34 pm
    Too Fuckin Funny*
  • OdiousLupous
    OdiousLupous

    Joined: Jul 2011
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 1:51 pm
    Wouldnt this make disposing of a dead body easy as hell... hmm, i might just let those jehovas witnesses in on a boring Saturday morning.
  • moretokes
    moretokes

    Joined: Apr 2011
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 1:57 pm
    I thought people already use a wood chipper for that:s
  • OdiousLupous
    OdiousLupous

    Joined: Jul 2011
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 4:03 pm
    Woodchipper leaves too much evidence behind.
  • moretokes
    moretokes

    Joined: Apr 2011
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 3:52 pm
    Atta boy 213edd tricking the swear blocker
  • 213EDD
    213EDD

    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
    I try my best
  • Klandathu
    Klandathu

    Joined: Apr 2008
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 4:52 pm
    At least you guys are eating a well-balanced diet consisting of all the major food groups. Remember kids: 3 to 5 servings of wings a day!
  • Sourdeez
    Sourdeez

    Joined: Feb 2012
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 4:56 pm
    Just make sure you get a couple bread sticks so you dont get to clogged up.

    The spicier the healthier I always say.
  • LawnGnome
    LawnGnome

    Joined: Apr 2007
    Posted: Aug 15th, 2012 at 5:03 pm
    Yeah, I traded the GR e-mail address to the Chinese for a Guild Wars 2 game code. I'm not sorry.
  • UghRochester
    UghRochester

    Joined: Jun 2006
    Posted: Aug 16th, 2012 at 6:08 am
    I'm great detective ever and I feel this is Chinese spam-bot you replied to.

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