More Reviews
REVIEWS Dark Souls II: Crown of the Sunk Review
I was confident in my Dark Souls abilities. Then From Software released new Dark Souls II DLC.

The Swapper Review
One of 2013's best indie games swaps its way to Sony platforms.
More Previews
PREVIEWS Pillars of Eternity Preview
For Obsidian's crowdfunded love letter to Infinity Engine games like Icewind Dale and Baldur's Gate, I was impressed by its willingness to pull back the curtain and let me see the machinery behind it.
Release Dates
NEW RELEASES CounterSpy
Release date: 08/19/14

Tales of Xillia 2
Release date: 08/19/14

Plants Vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare
Release date: 08/19/14

Madden NFL 15
Release date: 08/26/14


LATEST FEATURES Interview: Forging the Rings of Power in Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor
Tolkien fans may now either squeal with glee at getting to play interactive fanfiction... or condemn it to the watery grave of Numenor.

How Bioware Creates Romances
Bioware's games have romances where you might save the world, on the side of course.
MOST POPULAR FEATURES Picking Your Gender: 5 Industry Professionals Discuss Queer Identity in Gaming
Women from Naughty Dog, ArenaNet, Harmonix, and Gamespot unite to talk about what they want from games in terms of diversity.
 
Coming Soon

LEADERBOARD
Read More Member Blogs
FEATURED VOXPOP Kakulukia
Why Sunset Overdrive Can Go Suck A Lemon
By Kakulukia
Posted on 07/14/14
Yesterday, while cleaning up my media center, I found my copy of Ratchet & Clank: Into The Nexus, which I bought sometime before Christmas last year. I had been pretty excited about this game pre-release, what with it being the first "traditional", albeit shorter than usual,...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: The Postman Cometh

Posted on Monday, September 24 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
All About Ash.
From: "Ashton Whinery"
Subject: DUDE
yo can you please change my name on the mail bag to like 
john doe or something plz dont use my first and last name 
there are ways to find out where i live ya know.

Dearest Ashton,

We all already know where you live. We know your address, we know your home phone number, we know your favorite flavor Pop Tart and we know you religiously tape that Buffy: The Vampire Slayer TV show.

Now, remember to take Sundae (your adorable pet Chow) out for a walk before mom comes home from her work as a paralegal. And the next time that girl comes by - no, not that one, the one with the things - try brushing your hair. She (or should I say, Wendy) likes guys who are clean cut. Make us proud!

- GR

P.S. NO ONE CARES WHERE YOU LIVE BUT US, ASH.

Tribute to The Gods.
From: "***@aol.com"
Subject: o good god... what god? I have been perplexed aboot something for sometime now. Of all the religions of the world when you add them up you have a god for just aboot everything, except video games. Who is the almighty god of video games, because seriously folks, if there is one, i would like to know, because i would much rather spend an hour praying to this god than to go to church for an hour. Any info on this would be much obliged.

Hi ***,

You speak of idolatry. Punishment for such a crime varies from faith to faith. But our favorite is to string the idolater up by his pinkie toes and stone him with Peanut M&Ms.

Lucky for you, we think idolatry is fine. Our gods are many and our loyalities fluctuate. Currently, we give virgins, lambs, and Army Men games to He Who Must Not Be Named Unless You Name Him A Cool Name. He seems like a just god, though we swear he cheats at Counter-Strike.

- GR

2 + 2 = ....um....carry the 2....er...
From: "****@aol.com" 
Subject: how much do u spend???
dear gr,how much money do u spend on games and new 
consoles every year? u guys must have a ****load of 
money or something.thanx gr

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

Let's see. In a year, eh?

Cost of games ($0) + cost of hardware ($0) + gas money ($20) = approx. $20.

But don't hold us to that figure. Apparently Brian spent some cash on a new controller. We gotta look into that.

- GR

Da Bomb!
From: "***@aristotle.net"
Subject: none

Several months ago I was reading an article about a new type of bomb being built called the "E-Bomb". What it does is it sends out an electromagnetic field that disables some kinds of lights, T.V.s, batteries, computers, engines, and alot of other stuff, well I didn't pay much attention to one sentence at the time, but with the bombings and everything it popped back into my head and stuck there. The sentence was: "This new type of bomb is being developed at the PENTAGON." Pretty ironic isn't it? Sincerely, Colin

Hi Colin,

Are you sure you weren't dreaming about the previous night's Freespace 2 frag fest?

Besides, who needs an "e-bomb" when your country has the Crow: City of Angels. It can easily disables all kinds of lights, T.V.s, batteries, computers, engines and brainwaves.

- GR

The Search For The Ultimate Invertibrate.
From: "Adrien Baumann"
Subject: EAT COW!!!!!
I remember when I was 6 or 7 and I rented earthworm jim 2.
God was that game fun. I miss my SNES now because of that 
game. I wish they would make a good new earthworm jim game. 
unlike earthworm jim 64 which I think sucked really stinkin' 
bad. Have you heard about a new earthworm jim game or seen a 
preview at E3?

Hey Adrien,

Aside from making us feel older than dirt (can't believe you were 6 when EWJ 2 came out), you pose a very good question. We loved the first Earthworm Jim and were pleased to see him in celestial form as "Jim" in Interplay's RTS Sacrifice.

But unfortunately, we have not heard a peep regarding our favorite annelid's next stop. Will it be PS2, Xbox, Gamecube? We don't know. But next-gen Jim sounds like good eatin' to us.

Stay tuned for more info...

- GR

Tags:   gr mailbag


comments powered by Disqus

More On GameRevolution