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FEATURED VOXPOP LinksOcarina This is another article from Blistered Thumbs I wrote, back from the dead after being buried in the way-back machine. I posted this back in April of 2013, and many of the issues present seem to be prevalent right now in some cases, namely the decrees of sexism and misogony. Considering current...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: Through Rain, Sleet And Viruses

Posted on Monday, July 29 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
We've Been A Little Sick
From: "Simon St-Pierre"
Subject: Mailbag I really think it's stupid to call this a weekly mailbag. The current one has been up for at LEAST two weeks now. If you at GR are too lazy to check the company inbox, stop being lazy. If you're on vacation, have fun. If people aren't writing, well they just suck, cause there's plenty of stuff to write about.
Thanks.
Simon
P.S. Job form guy sucks

Dear Samna,

Indeed, the past few weeks have been a little difficult on the mailbag, mainly because we have been dealing with evil, horrible viruses like this one and that one that have flooded the GR mail server, making it almost impossible to check general mail without completely shutting down the office. A valid excuse? Who knows. But it's the truth.

At any rate, we'll be doing our best to get back on track with weekly (as opposed to biweekly) mailbag updates. Just to prove it...uh, well, I guess we're proving it right now. :)

- GR

Our Own Private Ape Escape
From: "James"
Subject: how do you get all your cheats?
i dont see how its possible. like for warcraft 3 which came out on the 3rd. by the 4th you already had all the cheats for it. how do yall do this? its not like you have a billion people sitting in GR offfices just typing stuff in and another team at some other place just typing stuff up. do the game companies send you the cheats??

Dear James,

It's our code monkeys. They're amazing. Despite not having opposable thumbs, they manage to figure out all kinds of cheats before actually getting copies of games. We're not entirely sure how they do it, either, but so long as we give 'em lots of free bananas they just keep doing it.

The only problem with them is when they get mad and throw poop at the screens. But it beats having to deal with nerds.

-GR

To All Would-Be Picassos...
From: "Ember Jensen"

Subject: ...art?
Greetings GR, As I visit your site almost exculsively for the reviews, forgive me if I am asking something addressed in some part of the page that is not immediately obvious to someone viewing the main page.
I noticed that in your mailbag feature you say "send letters and art ...". Art?
Say I sent you some old videogame related drawings of mine that could feasibly be classified as 'art' *coughbyblindhipposcough*. As I've never seen an art feature on the site,I was wondering what would you actually do with it..?
Post it up on a wall located somewhere in Berkeley? Use it to clean unsavory places? Make festive confetti of it? Use it to light a funeral pyre?
Fold it into a paper airplane and load it with a payoff of Umbrella's delicious bioweaponry and toss it over the Beligum border?
Point and laugh?
Y'know, these things tend to concern artists
(and those who impersonate them).
Thanks for your time,
Ember

Dear Ember,

Though we may seem like lowbrow smartasses, we're actually highbrow smartasses, or at least mid-brow smartasses, or even smartbrow lowasses. We're confused.

But damn it, we know art, and we'd never "make confetti" out of it or "use it to clean unsavory places." Even ridiculous pieces like this gem deserve praise, though we won't exactly be framing it.

-GR

It Must Be Belgium's Time Of The Month
From: "Susan Ryan"

Dear GR
What's up with Belgium?
Sincerly,
Ryan

Dear Ryan,

We honestly don't know. I mean, everything was fine with Belgium and GR for a good year or so. We would sometimes go out bowling together and this one time, Belgium got so drunk it stood up on the bar and starting imitating Canada! It was awesome, and a little weird since it was only drinking 7-Up.

But then one day we got this nasty message from Belgium. "Hey GR, you wankers, how could you tell my wife those nasty things...blahblahblah...you're never coming over for dinner again..." and so on and so forth. It was really kind of confusing.

So now we're fighting again, though we'd really like to make up with Belgium by offering to buy them Luxembourg. Them and their Grand Duchy!

-GR

I ROM So Far Away....
From: Sancho Vazquez
Subject: if the cops don't see it, its not illegal... right?
This is something that I have been debating with my
fellow gamers. I honestly don't think that anyone
really knows the true legality about downloading roms.
I read in a Ninteno Power mag that roms are illegal.
Period. No Downloading, no nothing. And that the
socalled "24 hour rule" isnt true. So are the feds
going to storm my house and throw me in a jail cell
with some smelly guy named bubba because I happen to
enjoy playing the games that I grew up with? Also, its
not like these companies lose cash because of roms
from older systems (NES, SNES, genisis, etc). What do
you think?
-Zaphod

Dear Zapped,

The legalities behind ROMs and emulators are inconsistent and somewhat mysterious, but it's pretty much accepted that it's illegal to 'own' ROMs for longer than 24 hours. We have no idea why, since it seems that if they're going to allow the ROMs to exist in the first place, there seems to be no good reason to try to monitor how long people keep 'em on their computers.

No, the feds aren't going to throw you in jail for playing Ms. Pac-Man on your PC. But if anything happens, you don't know us, we weren't there, and it isn't our knife.

-GR

Tags:   gr mailbag


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