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FEATURED VOXPOP oneshotstop
Call of Duty will never be the same
By oneshotstop
Posted on 07/28/14
       We've all been there. Everyone remembers that mission. You and your partner are climbing up the mountains in the snow, striving to pull some slick clandestine operation about getting some intel on a bad guy, or something similar (because let's face...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: To protect and serve...and make fun

Posted on Monday, April 24 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
Appease Your Gods
From: (*****@aol.com)
Subject: psx2 muy bueno
I was wondering if the PSX2 will need a mod chip to play 
imports and my "backups" that I have for my regular 
playstation. Is it too early to ask these sorts of silly 
questions or is the information beyond your infinite 
knowledge and gaming wisdom? I sacrificed my sister to 
appease the GR gaming 
gods, hopefully I will be rewarded.
"...or is the information beyond your infinite knowledge and gaming wisdom?" BAH! Nothing friend, is beyond our infinite knowledge, hence the infinite part. Now what was your question?

-GR

P.S. Your sister was delightful. More rain for your village.

DVD Shmeeveedee!
From: "themole2000" (****@netzero.net)
Subject: Your Advice on the Best New Console
Hey GR,
Whats up? Me and my friends were arguing over the best 
"new age" console to buy. One of us says that the Nintendo 
Dolphin is going to be the best, and Nintendo is a reliable. 
One of us says that the Playstation was full-on dope and 
that the PS2 must be 10 times better PLUS it can play old 
PS games. Then again, I say that Bill Gates has a good 
thing going, and that the X-Box (even with a dumb name) 
by the numbers is the best. What do you guys think?
After that we argued over gay rights (my friend is a 
little .........), the upcoming presidental election, 
and the better show, the Simpsons or the Family Guy. 
If you can, help us out. Thanx.
DJ
Hi DJ,

Hmmm.... Interesting debate topics, there guys. Video games, politics, sexuality, and sitcoms. I think you guys have it all covered. Too bad none of you are anywhere near close to understanding who will dominate the gaming industry in the years to come.

What does Sony have to offer? DVD playback and backward compatibility...woohoo. Bill and his X-Rated Box. Hard drives and more power than the Hulk on steroids does not impress me in the slightest. Oh, and Nintendo with their Plankton...or is it Minnow? Ah, whatever.

You want me to tell you who is going to reign supreme in 2001? Tiger, that's who. Tiger Electronics and their handheld gaming devices are set to usher in a new sense of realism not seen since the glorious days of Pong. With over 160 brick-dropping games, Tiger looks poised to conquer.

Well, read it and weep boys. Tiger is going all the way in the 01.

-GR

P.S. The Simpsons wins, hands down.

Goodly Letterness!
From: firat (*****@vm.baum.anadolu.edu.tr)
Subject: GAME RATINGS
I really should congratulate you for your accurateness in your games
ratings... It just straighthly reflects my own thoughts about most of
the games... Such accurateness is hardly and scarcely found in any
Gamers' Web Site
Thanks.
Hey Firat,

Glad to hear you agree with our reviewers. The ironicness of our reviewers' accurateness is that all of our reviewers are refugees pulled from the ocean while escaping from Third World countries. We keep them chained in the cellar, far from sunlight and even farther from outside contact. They have never played or even heard of video games. But they sure know their grammafication and wordosity!

-GR

P.S. Please send all angry e-mails to elian@game-revolution.com.

Infidels!!!
From: "Gabriel Broida" (******@hotmail.com)
Subject: Squaresoft?
Yeah, i really think drugz aint for kidz... how the 
hell someone can even think Metal Gear Solid suckz?? 
or RE??? dammit, u suck, Square have a few good games 
but thats all, hey u loser, u aint no gamer, ur a 
FMV freak, and belive me, that means ur no gamer, 
Long live the best game ever... Metal 
Gear Solid, and short live squarelovers, u losers...
-Grabi Isaac
Hey Grabi,

You tell 'em, man! Who wants to spend 50 bucks on a game and then actually play it, when you can just sit back on your couch and watch it? Sheesh, the nerve of some people.

-GR

"You have no idea what we do, do you?"
From: "Vicki" (*****@superior.net) 
Subject: Duke Nukem Time To Kill
Hello Duke.I am a great fan of yours and I wanted to tell
you that game  you were in "DUKE NUKEM TIME TO KILL" rocked.
I don't exactly have the  game but my friend Paul does.
I borowed it from him because it was on a  demo disk.Well!
It was actually a playstation underground but that 
doesn't matter.I wanted to say that I do have one of your 
games! It is  called DUKE NUKEM TOTAL MELTDOWN.I haven't beet 
it yet bet I'm working  on it.If you have a chance e-mail 
me at my mom's e-mail address. I am suppose to get DUKE 
NUKEM TIME TO KILL for Cristmas along with Metal Gear Solid, 
and TOMB RAIDER III.You know what? I like Laura Croft to. 
I think she is a babe.If you can send me her 
e-mail.Chow friend.Good luck trying to get Laura.
 Your Friend, Justin Hill 
Hey there Justin,

Lara loves to get e-mails from secret admirers, and I would be more than delighted to give you her email. Are you over eighteen and have a credit card handy?

-GR

Tags:   gr mailbag


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