GR Mailbag: Turning our inbox into a house of lies!
Posted on Monday, June 21 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
|We Don't Savvy.|
Subject: More Members in Gamers
I learn the games are great and you let in to
review let us to review. I think your reviews are sorry and can't
tell a good game for sorry one! You should the people dicide
what games are tight. Plus, wanna know there a secret mission in GTA3
after you finish, uh Catilina's mission, savvy? And matter of fact
I don't like went people don't reply back, savvy? And go ahead and
see my Attachment.
Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,
Your e-mail is interesting
because it defies classification. It is, simply put, the ULTIMATE
Subject: More Members in Gamers
From the outset, we thought your e-mail was sex spam. More
members in gamers? How filthy! We agree, though.
Repeated Odd Word: Savvy
While the word savvy can be used as a verb, the only people who really
use it like that are pirates. And we don't think you're a pirate.
And go ahead and see my Attachment.
Sure! Then, we'll go ahead and see Norton for instructions
on how to manually remove the weird trojan we just unleashed on our poor,
innocent hard drive.
So you can see how close we came to just tossing this right
into the garbage. But when we slowly put it all together, it became
clear that you were not, in fact, a spammer, but just a very confused
reader...and we LOVE confused readers, because they give us perfect
fodder for the mailbag. We salute you, savvy?
|If It Makes Sense, It's A Bad Idea.|
Sollien Sollieliejan Sollie |
Subject: Game companies saving money
Tell me, why can't these game-companies simply hire you as a beta
tester in the first place? You could bitch and whine about all the
things wrong with the game, and they could fix it before it hit the
stores...it'd make for the perfect game...
Dear Orjan Sollien Sollie..uh,
We wish we could tell you
why game companies don't hire critics to give them feedback
BEFORE they waste their time and money on a crap game, but alas, we
have no answer. The best we can surmise is that the companies who
tend to consistently release bad games don't like spending money,
which is why the games suck, and which is why they wouldn't possibly
considering hiring guys like us to make sure the games don't suck
in the first place.
|Can't We All Just Get Along?|
|From: "amy g" |
Who would win in a fight master cheif or Max Payne
Boy, we sure do get a lot of these "who
would win in a fight" questions. We've already told you that
ships kick ass,
Lee is tougher than Evil Dead, and that Sonic
can't hold a candle to the Smurfs. Can't you guys figure this stuff
out on your own?
Clearly not, so we've once again put our brains to the
test with this latest quandary, and after much deliberation and a
few pints of very tasty amber ale, decided the winner of this geeky
fictional fight would inevitably be...
Bruce Lee. Or possibly, the Harlem
|The CRACK is BAD|
From: Janis Timma
Hello, I got the MANHUNT, installed it on my pc, put on crack (and did
everything what is needed) but when I want to start playing it(when
on NEW GAME and choose my character) my screen gets in black colour
cant see anything.... For a second I can see something, but then
slowly gets darker and darker until I cant see anything. Could you
me why is that so?? please answer, if you can.
You got the MANHUNT and
put on crack, eh? Well, the fact that you pirated it might explain why it is the BROKEN,
and why you cannot call the TECH SUPPORT, and why you are now bugging
the GAME REVOLUTION. We cannot, however, offer you the
HELP, except to advise that you start running from the LAW. Real the
|Like Water In A Desert|
From: "Joe Tesauro"
Dear Game Revolution Editorial Staff,
I just wanted to take a minute to write you guys and tell you I'm a
huge fan of your site. Lord knows how many people write you and tell
you that they disagree with a review or an article or whatever, and
after reading the mail bag articles you've posted in the past I know
those readers can be pretty vocal, so I thought fans such as myself
should start being more vocal too.
I am a HUGE fan of the reviews your site puts out, and never do I buy
game before reading your review on the game, and as a result I've been
saved from making a huge mistake on more then one ocasion. Any game
guys give an A or a B+ to is practically a must have, (Cept for Tiger
Woods, but I'm admittedly not a Golf fan in the slightest), and on
entertainment value alone theyre worth taking an extra five minutes
my lunch break for. Honest and unmerciful, while some people may find
it offensive to see in reviews, I applaud it.
Just wanted to say keep up the great work and all that.
Thanks for the kind words. People like you give us a reason to
continue doing what we do.
Well, people like you and methamphetamines.