Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that. It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece. I strongly recommend anyone...
From: "Sam Sahakian" (*******@hotmail.com)
What would I do for a PS2? Well, I'd do anything you
wonderful people wanted. Yes, anything within my power.
Want an essay about how great and wonderful you GR guys
really are? Done. Want a personal slave? Done. I have no
limits. Want some tasty muffins? Cause baby I've got
muffin skills. I could send you so many tasty muffins
it'd blow your game-reviewing minds. Just give me a
shipping address and you'll get muffins, lots and lots
of muffins. So, muffins, praise, my humiliation, muffins,
anything else, you name it,
you got it.
We don't want any muffins.
Colin is allergic. But an essay on how great and wonderful we are sounds
Describe, in 300 words or
less, exactly why Game Revolution rules. Wow us with your command of
the language. Excite us with your grammatical prowess, your attention
to detail, and your distinct, unique style.
The best essay will be published
in next week's mailbag and the author will recieve a very special GR
gift (No, not a PS2. We're not THAT cool!)...
From: "pablo envia lo siguiente" (*****@hotmail.com)
Subject: psx2 threat
So, I got it. If you give me a PSX2, I will NOT expose
your current, true, actual driving license pictures of
you on the internet. Behind will be the funny looking
cartoons that you use as "identifications", and people
will know your real faces.
Rejoice readers: I even got the face of that ever
elusive "Mr. Editor" (say godd-bye to the chicks, buddy).
Scared? Well, you know what to do. Mwahahaha!!!!!
PS. Err, yeah, don't ask me how I got the pictures. There
are things you just can't explain. Right Mr Liu?
Lector Revolucionario Pablo.
We know you're lying because
a couple of 8 year-old girls like us don't even HAVE driving licenses
P.S. Johnny Liu is a poopy
Worse Than a Bomb Threat
From: pablo zapata giraldo (*******@demasiado.com)
Subject: Psx2 "contest"
If you give me a psx2, I will send you... My old PSX!!!!
(Yep, don't drop your jaws, It's for real).
Revolution reader Pablo.
Look, just put The Crow
down and let's talk this out. Things aren't so bad, right? Seriously,
put it down SLOWLY. There's no need for anyone to get hurt. Let's work
together here. But first you have to put The Crow down. Really. Please.
Just put it down, and back away...
Been There, Done That.
From: "Phillip Fredbuttooce" (*****@hotmail.com)
you should have Laura in her actual birthday suit, not
hiding behind a pillow!
We already had Lara
in her birthday suit. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Jealous?
Wittle Dukey Wukey!
Duke? This is your mother. I left your rash medicine
under your potty trainer and dont forget
to wash your briefs tonight before you go to your sex therapist.
P.S. Have a good day at school
Hi Mom! Have you seen my
favorite teddy bear, Mr. Tubbles? I want to take him to the Ricky Martin