Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that. It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece. I strongly recommend anyone...
From: Cliff Reader
Subject: i heard something in soul calibur 2, i wanna know if you hear
I visit the site quite regularly, i love the way it's presented. (black
and red are the best colors on earth) ANyway, me and my bro were playing
soul calibur 2 for xbox, and we heard something surprising. When Necrid
does the Void Cannon, it sounds like he says "penis." We doubted
this is what he said, but upon closer inspection, everyone agrees it
definately sounds like that is indeed what he says, i wanted to know
if you or the reviewer of this title have heard this too. By the way,
i am a huge soul calibur fan, and remember dumping, and can remember
dumping at least 25 bucks worth of coins into a soul edge machine one
summer in alaska. anyway, keep on doing what ya doing, we love it
Since the dawn of the genre,
no fighting game is complete without totally ridiculous voice work.
Take Street Fighter, which gives a shout out to rocker
Ted Nugent every time Ryu throws
a fireball. Then there's the acclaimed 'Donut Splash' from the first
Battle Arena Toshinden.
But none come close to our
favorite at GR, the unbeliveable "You f*** well!" from Battle
Arena Toshinden Remix. You fought well? You fart
well? No way. He's complimenting you on your skill with a sword outside and
inside of the bedroom, the ultimate praise for a fighting game fan.
From: "Alex Ohio"
Subject: Reply Pronto
From the desk of:
Dr. Alex Ohio.
We are members of a special committee for budget and planning of the
Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). This committee is principally
concerned with contract awards and approval. With our positions, we
have successfully secured for ourselves the sum of Twenty Million, Five
Hundred Thousand United States Dollars (US$20.5m). This amount was carefully
manipulated by over-invoicing of an old contract.
Based on the information gathered from our research, we believe you
would be in a position to help us in transferring this fund mentioned
into a safe valid account, either corporate or personal. It has been
agreed that the owner of the account will be compensated with 20% of
the remitted funds, while we keep 70%, and 10% will be set aside to
offset expenses and pay the necessary taxes.
All modalities of this transaction have been worked out and once started,
will not take more than 14 working days, with your full support. Moreover,
this transaction is 100% risk free. So if this proposal satisfies you,
please reach us only by Tel: 234 1 7761436 or fax: 234 1 7950548, for
more information. Also to confirm you are speaking with me whenever
you call, always demand that I confirm the last four digits of my fax
number (0548). This is a kind of password.
Please treat as urgent and very confidential.
Dr. Alex Ohio.
When you say "we,"
do you mean you and the mouse in your pocket? Or do you mean you and
your cohort, Mrs.
You can't fool us with your
slick double-talk, fancy percentages and "kind of passwords."
Though to be honest, 20% of 20 million bucks would come in handy. Okay,
we'll help you if you answer us these 4 questions:
1.) If you were a fruit,
what fruit would you be?
2.) A plum? Why?
3.) What number am I thinking
of right now?
4.) But what number am I
thinking of NOW?
Please remit your answers
urgently and very confidential.
I have never been treated as rudely as while on your webpage. Filth
and vulgar talk on your chat line. I will never use your website again
and will post this on every place I can find on line.
Annoyed GR Fan,
You're right, and to prove
it we decided to post it every place we could find online as well. Starting
You f*** well,
From: "CARLOS ORTEGA" <******@msn.com>
I hate my sister she all ways bothers me :(
We hate her, too. Remember
that time she glued your head to the microwave? Or the time when she
poured orange juice into your fishbowl and killed poor Goldy? How about
that time when the little she-devil shaved your eyebrows off when you
were asleep and wrote "I am a 1337 hax0r" on your forehead
in indelible marker?
She can't get away with this
forever, Carlos. Do what you gotta do, brother.
t Can't ALL Be Bad, You Know.
From: Tom Ross
Subject: Has it really been that long?
Dear GR Overlord, aka Duke-
It's been a few years since I've sent you an e-mail, so I figure I'm
Once upon a time, in an age known as 1990's, I discovered a shining
in the murky depths of the internet. It was called "Game Revolution",
and it was good. And it still is. Many years now I have shunned my
duties to take a peek at the latest review, or to read the weekly
moth-to-the-flame ritual known as the Mailbag. Good stuff.
My reason for writing today is twofold: First, I'm at work and naturally
very bored. Second, I'd like to let all of you at the GR Compound know
that you're doing a great job as always. There are not many truly free
websites out there that have managed to maintain their integrity the
you have. The writing is as witty and fresh as it ever was, and when
game sucks, by golly, there's no mistaking it. My wallet thanks you
the hundreds of dollars it has saved as a result of my better educated
buying decisions. On the flip side, if Game Revolution gives something
an A- or better, I've learned to run, not walk, to my nearest retailer
and buy a copy.
Well, that's really all I had to say. I could continue gushing and
showering you with embarassing praises, but you probably don't want
that...........at least I think you don't. Keep up the good work and
next time I'm driving through Berkeley I'll bring you a sixer of Mountain