GR Mailbag: When Good Letters Go Bad!
Posted on Monday, June 18 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
|All Hail Matthew, Lord Of Alaska|
From: "Matthew Norman"
Subject: what is this game revolution that you speak
so highly of? Well, you should be damn happy with yourself,
you jerks got me hooked on your reliable reviews and your
good standard for your works quality. I hope you cry at night
knowing that I check your page every day and appreciate it.
Now your probably asking "Why in the blast did this child
write this to me?". Simple my furry feathered friend, for
two reasons. Reason number one, I want to thank you for your
accurate reviews. Reason number two, I am a big Johnny Liu
and Jet Li, so I get a rush when I read Johnny's reviews and
see Mr.KickAss Has The Best Movies In Existence Jet Li. Third,
HOW IN THE HELL CAN ANYONE LIVE KNOWING YOU GAVE ANY OF THE
FALLOUT GAMES LESS THAN AN A+? And finaly, I really need to
know more about 'RUN LIKE HELL' besides the general info
because it looks so ejactulicious! Anyways, thanks for being
the best sight, and thanks Johnny for having kick bottem reviews
with kick the bottem portrait.
Matthew Conquerer of Alaska!
Hey, you wrote to us for
only TWO reasons, then you went and gave us FOUR. We're busy people
here, so we're only paying attention to the first two reasons. So...
You're welcome for the reviews,
and Johnny says "thanks!"
P.S. Congrats on conquering
Alaska. Like that was hard. What, did you just bring a
lighter or something?
|Another Empty Threat|
Subject: (no subject)
If I threatened to bring some of my Tesla Trooper Friends
to kick y'all's ass would you pay me. And if you did pay,
would you pay for a prostitute too?
Tesla Trooper friends? Spare
me. Even if they made it past the guard towers, mage citadel, harpy
nests and cyclops cave, they'd surely perish at the decaying paws of
the giant, drunken four-headed zombie robot dog. We're quite well insulated
here at the compound.
Would we pay for a prostitute
too? Well, part of what makes a prostitute a prostitue is that she costs
money, so sure, we'd pay for that. By the way, what does she look like?
Is she cute? Does she like me, or like LIKE me?
|Belgium Strikes Again!|
From: "Greg McGraw"
Subject: Help! Belgium trouble!
Oh no you gotta do something! My brother is being
held in Belgium and they sentenced him to death by
public waffle-ing! They say the crime is making fun
of their chocolates but thats not fair because the
chocolates really didn't taste good!
He made fun of their chocolates?!
Is he totally mad? Does he just simply want to die? You can't make fun
of food in Belgium without expecting some sort of nasty payback...and
few things are nastier than a waffling.
This is bad news! We gotta
get your brother outta there. Belgian waffles may seem like a big joke
to some, but
they're not...they're REALLY not.
|Kids, Stay In School|
Subject: i bet ill woop yor a$$ in like 2 seconds
your week dood ken is wy better than u e- mail me back
saying something asap
|Dear poor little retarded
P.S. Lern to spel bettr.
|Vive Le Difference!|
Hello GR people. just wanna say that im glad i found your
site. After CNET Gamecenter closed own (sob sob) i was
wondering WHAT THE HELL is was gonna do for game reviews
and whatnot. well, i used gamespot for awhile, but they
suck ass, but eventually i fouond GR. Your site really
kicks ass and your almost as good as Gamecenter (thats
the highest praise i can give) but anyway, i was just
wondering, what the hell do companies mean when like,
one company is gonna publish a game and another company
is designing it, im confused?!
Thanks for the
praise. We liked Gamecenter as well and were quite friendly with the
editors. It's too bad they couldn't stay around after CNET bought Ziff
Davis and Gamespot.
is one we get pretty often and have actually answered here before. But
since it's so confusing to so many gamers, we'll clarify again the differences
between publishers and developers.
are familiar with publishers - Activision, Konami, Sony, Microsoft,
Eidos, Interplay - these are just a few of the big boys responsible
for funding the distribution of a game. Publishers are large and scary.
invest money in the developers, who are the folks who actually
make the games. They're the programmers, the coders, the artists, musicians
and general nerds who create the games themselves. Famous developers
include Square, Bioware, Naughty Dog and Sonic Team. They are smaller
and less scary than publishers.
Often the line
is blurred between publisher and developer. Rare is a developer and
Nintendo is a publisher, but Nintendo owns a portion of Rare, leading
to exclusive content for Nintendo systems. In some instances, the publisher
and developer is actually one in the same, like Capcom.
Hope that clears
some of this stuff up. If not, we'd be happy to show you the scribblings
on the GR blackboard. We're experts at new math, y'know.