Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that. It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece. I strongly recommend anyone...
From: ??? (***@aol.com)
Subject: Mr, Magicpants? HA!! I have Magic Shorts,
and Underwear!!! I challnge Mr Magicpants, um whats
the chalnge though? It does not matter, I will previal
higher then Mr, Shawn Beaverless, I mean Weaver. and I
shall defete Mr Magicpants and the rest of GR for not
returning my E.mails HAHAH! For you see I have magic
shorts, Underwear, and the allmighty SOCKS!!!!! There
is nothing to protect you from the SOCKS!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAH! Death to all who opose the Magic Wear, or
as other people call it WU, Wear, no no wait those are
not magic they are Badluck, My Tag says my Magic wear is
Caffien, HAHAHAH! um yeah and DIE!!
Dear Unknown Gamer,
Imitation is the highest
form of flattery. So, uh, thanks. Now please never write to us again.
Where's a Telephone Booth When You Need It?
From: "Mattias Van" (***@yahoo.com)
Isn't it possibel to play normal pc-games on a
Or can't I put a normal windows '98 version on a
macintosh so that I can play these games?
When I first read this
letter to the rest of the GR staff, we all laughed out loud. Then
I realized that this is a serious inquiry, and, being the gaming Supermen
that we are, we could not possibly hesitate to rescue this gamer's verbal
kitty from the proverbial tree of confusion.
Unfortunately Mattias, Macs
run their own operating software known as, um, Mac OS something or other
(I believe it's up to 9.0). The programs that are compatible with Mac
OS are only compatible with OS.
Windows '98 is a PC operating
system. It cannot be installed and run on a Mac. PC games run on PCs.
Mac games run on Macs. So to answer your questions...no and no.
As a result, Steve Jobs and
ol' Billy Gates are by no means compatible with each other. We
think this is because Steve is into artsy-fartsy techno garbage and
Bill just likes to sit around eating Doritos.
From: "Joe Weber" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: My watch is broken so i hooked it up to my toaster
and dracula isgonna eat me!
In Capcom vs. SNK, what does the SNK stand for?
Stupid Nome Kids? Santa Needs Krack? Some Never Kiss?
Help me out here...
We, too, were wondering the
very same thing. We came up with the following possibilites.
Stark Naked Kangaroos
Stupid Ninja Karate
Silliest Name Known
Switzerland Nukes Kurds
Shawn's New Kaleidoscope
Sasquatch Never Knocks (he's got no manners.)
The 'Cool' People Test!
From: "SPDRACR" (***@aol.com)
Subject: you guys seem cool and all but.................
Hey GR staff,
You know what really makes me think if someone is cool or not?
What kind of music they listen to. Do you guys like alternative
like rage against the machine (my favorite)
Or do you like Jimi Hendrix or Led Zepplin. Do you guys like
that rap crap like DMX or Methods of mayhem or Rand B such as
( i dont know i never listen to it). Do you guys like country
or maby techno like Crystal method or Prodigy type music. I
wanted to know this because i love what you guys have done to
the site and you seem pretty cool but my final test is to
find out what music your staff likes.
-your fan SPDRACR
p.s this is a real question i ponder on this quite a bit
Hmmm...so "musical tastes"
is your gauge for coolness? I always judge people by their
actions. You know, what they do and how they relate to certain situations.
Well, the GR staff is composed
of hundreds of angry young men. I asked a few of 'em, and here's what
I got back...
The Little Drummer Boy,
anything from the animated Dr. Seuss specials, the song they use
when counting to 12 on Electric Company, the themes to Welcome
Back Kotter, Fraggle Rock & Barney Miller, any
Run D.M.C, Happy Birthday To You, the songs used to pick who's
'it' in a game of tag (bubble-gum, bubble-gum in a dish...), We Are
the World, and, of course, Limp Bizkit.
P.S. Just kidding about Limp
Oh, Oh It's Magic.
From: Aj & Mary-lyn (***@aol.com)
Subject: Who let the dogs out?
While taking into account the whole surreal experience of
actually making love to a playstation 2 I don't see what
the gamecube has to offer, beside Majora's mask is
rigodamndiculous(ridiculous) and further more who is the
Sal Magicpants and what makes his pants magic,or rather
who makes his pants magic? all this and more if you smell
what George Bush is cookin'
P.S.-did you ever catch the ginger bread man?
Sal's pants weren't always
magical. They used to be a plain old pair of lab pants belonging to
some scientist named David.
But after being exposed
to excessive amounts of Gamma radiation, the pants took on a whole new