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Release date: Out Now

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Read More Member Blogs
FEATURED VOXPOP Master_Craig
Welcome Home - PAX AUS 2014
By Master_Craig
Posted on 11/18/14
Last night I returned home from PAX AUS 2014. Long story short, it wasn't perfect, but it was quite possibly the best weekend I've had this year. It was a lot of fun. If you'd like to continue reading, the long story is just below. Buckle up. This is gonna be...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: Words From The Wise

Posted on Monday, December 11 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
There's A Question In Here Somewhere...We Think.
From: ??? (***@aol.com)
Subject: Mr, Magicpants? HA!! I have Magic Shorts, 
and Underwear!!! I challnge Mr Magicpants, um whats 
the chalnge though? It does not matter, I will previal 
higher then Mr, Shawn Beaverless, I mean Weaver. and I 
shall defete Mr Magicpants and the rest of GR for not 
returning my E.mails HAHAH! For you see I have magic 
shorts, Underwear, and the allmighty SOCKS!!!!! There 
is nothing to protect you from the SOCKS!!!! 
HAHAHAHAHAH! Death to all who opose the Magic Wear, or 
as other people call it WU, Wear, no no wait those are 
not magic they are Badluck, My Tag says my Magic wear is 
Caffien, HAHAHAH! um yeah and DIE!!
Dear Unknown Gamer,

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. So, uh, thanks. Now please never write to us again.

-GR

Where's a Telephone Booth When You Need It?
From: "Mattias Van" (***@yahoo.com)
Subject: info
Isn't it possibel to play normal pc-games on a
macintosh?
Or can't I put a normal windows '98 version on a
macintosh so that I can play these games?
Hello Mattias,

When I first read this letter to the rest of the GR staff, we all laughed out loud. Then I realized that this is a serious inquiry, and, being the gaming Supermen that we are, we could not possibly hesitate to rescue this gamer's verbal kitty from the proverbial tree of confusion.

Unfortunately Mattias, Macs run their own operating software known as, um, Mac OS something or other (I believe it's up to 9.0). The programs that are compatible with Mac OS are only compatible with OS.

Windows '98 is a PC operating system. It cannot be installed and run on a Mac. PC games run on PCs. Mac games run on Macs. So to answer your questions...no and no.

As a result, Steve Jobs and ol' Billy Gates are by no means compatible with each other. We think this is because Steve is into artsy-fartsy techno garbage and Bill just likes to sit around eating Doritos.

-GR

Acronym Smackronym!
From: "Joe Weber" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: My watch is broken so i hooked it up to my toaster 
and dracula isgonna eat me!
In Capcom vs. SNK, what does the SNK stand for? 
Stupid Nome Kids? Santa Needs Krack? Some Never Kiss? 
Help me out here...
Joe
Dear Joe,

We, too, were wondering the very same thing. We came up with the following possibilites.

SNK =

Stark Naked Kangaroos
Stupid Ninja Karate
Silliest Name Known
Switzerland Nukes Kurds
Shawn's New Kaleidoscope

and...

Sasquatch Never Knocks (he's got no manners.)

-GR

The 'Cool' People Test!
From: "SPDRACR" (***@aol.com)
Subject: you guys seem cool and all but.................
Hey GR staff,
You know what really makes me think if someone is cool or not? 
What kind of music they listen to. Do you guys like alternative 
like rage against the machine (my favorite)
Or do you like Jimi Hendrix or Led Zepplin. Do you guys like 
that rap crap like DMX or Methods of mayhem or Rand B such as 
( i dont know i never listen to it). Do you guys like country 
or maby techno like Crystal method or Prodigy type music. I 
wanted to know this because i love what you guys have done to 
the site and you seem pretty cool but my final test is to 
find out what music your staff likes. 
-your fan SPDRACR
p.s this is a real question i ponder on this quite a bit 
(thanks)
Hey Casey,

Hmmm...so "musical tastes" is your gauge for coolness? I always judge people by their actions. You know, what they do and how they relate to certain situations.

Well, the GR staff is composed of hundreds of angry young men. I asked a few of 'em, and here's what I got back...

The Little Drummer Boy, anything from the animated Dr. Seuss specials, the song they use when counting to 12 on Electric Company, the themes to Welcome Back Kotter, Fraggle Rock & Barney Miller, any Run D.M.C, Happy Birthday To You, the songs used to pick who's 'it' in a game of tag (bubble-gum, bubble-gum in a dish...), We Are the World, and, of course, Limp Bizkit.

-GR

P.S. Just kidding about Limp Bizkit.

Oh, Oh It's Magic.
From: Aj & Mary-lyn (***@aol.com)
Subject: Who let the dogs out?
While taking into account the whole surreal experience of 
actually making love to a playstation 2 I don't see what 
the gamecube has to offer, beside Majora's mask is 
rigodamndiculous(ridiculous) and further more who is the 
Sal Magicpants and what makes his pants magic,or rather 
who makes his pants magic? all this and more if you smell 
what George Bush is cookin' 
TofuMonkey 
P.S.-did you ever catch the ginger bread man?
Hello,

Sal's pants weren't always magical. They used to be a plain old pair of lab pants belonging to some scientist named David.

But after being exposed to excessive amounts of Gamma radiation, the pants took on a whole new demeanor.

Don't make them angry....you wouldn't like them when they're angry...

-GR

Tags:   gr mailbag


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