Warning: This blog entry may contain spoilers about the Mass Effect trilogy.
About four weeks ago I was bored, really bored. It was a Saturday night and like the loser that I am I was at home bored. I had recently finished Batman: Arkham Origins and wanted to play something else. I...
Well I don't know about you, but I was extremely impressed and hyped by Microsoft's recent unveiling of the next Xbox. To be called Xbox One, the new system will host a plethora of new and outstanding features that guarantee a place in game history. Because I am helpful and awesome, I made a list of potential catchphrases and marketing slogans that the Xbox team might find useful. Microsoft guys, if you're reading, feel free to use any of these at no charge. Here's my list:
Xbox One: Because nobody will be saying "Xbox Won"
To Infinity, and... then back to one.
Saving a seat right next to Sega.
One for the dawgs.
Xbox One Out of Ten.
Final Score: Xbox 1, PlayStation 4.
Xbox One Foot in the Grave
Xbox One: hoping to repeat the success of the original Xbox.
Saving you money by giving you no reason to spend it.
It can play games. Seriously. You gotta believe me. I promise. Really.
Xbox One is the loneliest number. (And it's the international first-year sales expectation.)
Yeah well if you can name another device that can play Netflix, I'd like to hear it!
Made in America, for Americans, by Americans, and, let's be honest, it will be purchased by... probably no one else.
Finally, some Xbox news that Nintendo and Sony really love.
Unable to establish Kinection. Try again?
Cross Box: Because by the time this is all over, we're gonna need some resurrection.
It's the center of the living room — it makes a fantastic coffee table. The game consoles, meanwhile, are hooked up to the TV, somewhat closer to the wall.
Have some of your own? Deal with it below in the comments.