Last Time, I Swear

Which makes today a pretty good day for those of us who enjoy freedom.

For those of you unfamiliar with what I am yammering about, you can get a pretty good overview of the Jack Thompson saga from the story of how he tried to arrest my boss. Since then, Jack has only gotten stranger.

First, the National Institute on Media and the Family, a group I would normally describe as a "bunch of crackpots", actually did something rational and issued an open letter asking Mr. Thompson to stop using their name all the time. The gist of it was: Dude, you're too crazy, even for us. Jack responded with some vague threats and insinuations that NIMF was being paid off by Target and Best Buy, who Jack says he is currently suing over Bully, a video game they didn't make and that isn't even out yet.

Next, Jack made a $10,000 challenge, offering to donate the money to the charity of Paul Eibler's (the president of Take Two Interactive) choice, if someone would make a video game where a deranged sadist kills "Paula Eibler", the president of "Take This", as well as going on a killing spree throughout the video game industry.

Weird, huh? But nobody loves a challenge like gamers do, and sure enough within days, there was a whole plethora of games that conformed to Jack's scary vision. Try out Zork Thompson 1.0 or A Modest Video Game Proposal or The Golden Rule: O.K.'s Revenge or Jack Thompson Presnts: Osaki!. Most impressive of all is the Grand Theft Auto 3 mod (how ironic!) Defamation of Character: A Jack Thompson Murder Simulator which should easily qualify all of Jack's criteria.

Confronted with actually ponying up the dough, Jack actually backs down and breaks his word. That's right, he won't even give the money he promised to charity.

This is when the guys over at Penny Arcade, who had an earlier encounter with Jack, step up to the plate. Where Jack Thompson weasels out like.. well, a weasel, P.A. has actually donated the whole $10,000 to charity in Jack Thompson's name. There needs to be a new word for having cajones like that.

Gabe, Tycho, my hat is off to you. It is a nice hat, and it is off, clutched before me in a manner of awe and supplication.

I personally am going to double my contribution to Child's Play this year, and I urge the rest of you to do the same.