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DAILY MANIFESTO

Mass Effect Just Gets Dirtier And Dirtier

Posted on Monday, January 14 @ 21:52:39 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
And the media just keep getting stupider as conservative columnist Kevin McCullough has weighed in on the SeXbox 360 scandal.

Despite the fact that it took me all of 30 seconds research on Friday to discover that the Mass Effect sex scene was about as dirty as The Little Mermaid, it turns out that some people don't even do that much research.

In his latest column Kevin states:

It's called "Mass Effect" and it allows its players - universally male no doubt - to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived. One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to "engage" and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game "persons" hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of.

Wow! That's one seriously dirty game. Can I have a bigger penis?

...one can "create" their own versions of what people look like, removing warts, moles, and bald spots while enhancing - shall we say - the extended features of the game's characters...

Awesome! I get a giant internet penis too! Anything else?

And because of the digital chip age in which we live - "Mass Effect" can be customized to sodomize whatever, whoever, however, the game player wishes.

With it's "over the net" capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.

Wow! Holy crap! I need to get a copy of whatever version of Mass Effect Kevin is playing. Mine can't do any of that cool stuff.

Speaking of dirty games, fellow revolutionary SaveFerris (no relation) clued me in to The Video Game Name Generator, which immediately suggested the titles Adventures of the Fantasy Trainer and Barbie's Spelunking of the Dead. Eww..


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