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DAILY MANIFESTO

May the Fourth Be With You, Star Wars Holiday Special

Posted on Sunday, May 4 @ 12:00:00 Eastern by

When Disney and Lucasfilm announced that production on Star Wars Episode VII was underway, many fans finally took down their Han Shot First protest posters and replaced them with images of Han shooting various Disney characters. How could you, George?! On this, the day of our Jedi, let us not forget the atrocities committed in 1978 during the Star Wars Holiday Special originally aired on CBS.

What was the Star Wars Holiday Special?

A massacre. The Holiday Special was produced by Gary Smith and Dwight Hemion and starred much of the original cast in the same roles that live on because people can choose what they remember and by Yoda, did the overwhelming majority choose not to remember the Holiday Special. The 90 minute production followed Chewbacca in his celebration of the Wookie holiday of Life Day. Chewie and Han are chased by the empire, alien cooks haphazardly throw a meal together, Gestapo storm troopers want to ruin the fun to save us all, and a cartoon interrupts the proceedings.

The Star Wars Holiday Special was almost universally panned by critics and fans alike, though people seem to like the cartoon because it introduces everyone’s favorite bounty hunter, Boba Fett. George Lucas has reportedly stated that if he “had the time and a hammer, [he] would track down every copy of that program and smash it.” Too bad he decided to spend his time reediting the original trilogy instead. Now that the Expanded Universe has been axed, we hope that the Holiday Special branch falls on George’s car. He can afford a new one anyway.

Why did they make the Star Wars Holiday Special?

There’s always money in the banana stand.

Can the Holiday Special live on?

We’ve been trying to kill it for decades. It always lives on. It’s like Darth Vader, the top half of Darth Maul, and C-3PO’s wire whale tail combined. You just can’t keep it down.

May the force be with you, anyone stupidly bold enough to rewatch after reading this.

Tags:   Star Wars
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