Nintendo, Quit Making My Soul Cry
Posted on Tuesday, August 28 @ 15:23:19 PST by sara_gunn
I’m a Nintendo fangirl from way back. My very first console was an SNES, and I destroyed Super Mario World for about three straight years. My entire adolescence I only owned Nintendo consoles, not venturing into other territories till well into my twenties. I have a fraking Master Sword tattooed on my arm, for crying out loud.
So, Nintendo, you and I need to have a little talk. I love you, fo’ reals, but you gotta stop. You know what I’m talking about. Metroid: Other M. Epic Mickey. Wii Sports of any kind. It’s bloody depressing. You’re making me hate you, and I don’t like it. I mean, we still have good times! We’ve been replaying Mario Galaxy right now, and it’s tons of fun! Right?!
Okay, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let’s talk about the Wii U for a bit. Most likely coming out in time for Black Friday this year, the new Nintendo system will be backwards compatible and may or may not be able to play DVDs. Oh, wait, it’s only backwards compatible to the Wii? *Pfffft.* I’m not relying on anything that won’t play Eternal Darkness or Wind Waker. Dammit, Nintendo, you’re doing it again…
Anyway, there’s no official price yet, and I’ve found rumors ranging from $251 all the way up to $600, which seems unlikely. Using my retail-fu, I’m guessing it will probably be about $300-400. Christ, even I can’t imagine paying $400 for a Nintendo.
So here’s my suggestion, Nintendo, and I’m gonna say it clearly, so I can be sure you get it: MAKE SOME GOOD GAMES. *Ahem.* You can have all the fancy touchscreen controllers you want, all the social connectivity your little heart desires, but if you can’t make some games that don’t suck, no one is going to care about you. ZombieU actually looks pretty cool, but that’s what we said about Other M, so I’m not getting my hopes up.
And stop trying to copy Microsoft’s controller. We can all see what you’re doing there.
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