UPDATE: Nintendo's Satoru Iwata Interviews Sony's Kazuo Hirai

 

Here's the text of the interview:

IWATA: Today I am joined by Kazuo Hirai, chairman of Sony Computer Entertainment.

HIRAI: Please, call me Kaz.

IWATA: Please do not call me Sat. [Laughs]

HIRAI: [Frowns]

IWATA: Today we are talking about the struggles facing the handheld market. For example, how your handheld market is struggling against our handheld market. [Laughs]

HIRAI: Very funny, Mr. Iwata.

IWATA: I am being a kidder towards you. It's good for Sony that 3DS is selling well - it gives retailers more space to store unsold Vitas. [Laughs]

HIRAI: Don't forget the tortoise and the hare, Mr. Iwata. Slow and steady wins the race.

IWATA: Yes, but in this case the hare has signed a lucrative Monster Hunter deal. But I'm sure Little Deviats will do well for the tortoise. [Laughs]

HIRAI: [Silence]

IWATA: Looking at Vita's slow sales, I am reminded of the PlayStation 3 slogan: it only does everything. Except sell. [Laughs]

HIRAI: Okay.

IWATA: Looking at Vita's slow sales, I am also reminded of the PS2 slogan: Welcome to the third place. Only it is now "the last place." [Laughs]

HIRAI: Right.

IWATA: Looking at Vita's slow sales, I am also reminded of your famouse E3 performance. Though instead of "Riiiiidge Racer!" you have a "saaaaaales failure!" [Laughs]

HIRAI: Are you done?

IWATA: [Continued laughter]

HIRAI: I knew this interview was a bad idea.

IWATA: [Continued laughter]

This is, of course, Nintendo Gamer's fantastic April Fools prank, which I am just seeing now, because who the fuck is NIntendo Gamer?

UPDATE: Nintendo Gamer Contributing Editor Matthew Castle reached out to us overnight to let us know that they are the the UK's only independent Nintendo magazine. We've removed the image out of defference to them. We hope Nintendo Gamer's readers love the Iwata Asks segments as much as we do.