NPR, STFU.

 

The douchebag “expert” they chose to trust in this matter, Dr. Oliver Pergrams from the University of Illinois at Chicago, is the man behind the madness. Citing the results of a study attempting to determine the causality behind the decline in parkgoers (and leading to what he dubs his *gag* “Nature vs. Nintendo” hypothesis), Dr. Douche Oliver states:

 

 

NPR points out that Pergrams admits a failure to, you know, prove how games ruin parks, though they then unleash his views linking gaming to childhood obesity:

 

 

Okay, I agree that kids probably don’t go outside enough. They spend a lot of time staring at the TV or Oblivion or Game Revolution (god bless ‘em), and that the proliferation of both interactive and non-interactive media makes it hard for them to want to do anything else.

 

But to then take the leap that video games somehow significantly correlate to the fact that families aren’t scooting out to Yosemite every chance they get is absurd. What about Myspace? What about chatrooms? What about Disneyland, Hollywood and the easy chick down the street they might score with? What about the fact that the kids actually have little say in the matter since they aren’t the ones with the cars and gas money to make the vacation happen in the first place? Or maybe people just don’t like the smell of bear crap, white trash and suntan lotion. Tough to say, but flinging video games into the mix as a sort of separate, evil entity is irresponsible and, most likely, totally wrong. Besides, gamers can take their games to the park with them, so chances are the culprit lies elsewhere.

 

In other news, eating candy might kill homeless babies. NPR story to follow.