Ode To My Lost Handhelds
Posted on Tuesday, June 14 @ 18:34:20 Eastern by Josh_Laddin
My Game Boy Advance was a wonderful friend,
It gave me years of thrill and joy,
And though a nerd they called me then,
Nowhere you’d find a happier boy.
But a vile Pokémon prompted my GBA’s demise,
Rayquaza taunting me with its terrible gaze,
After hours of futile Pokéball-chucking,
I smashed my dear friend in an angry haze.
Years later I would own a DS,
Which carried me past many international flags,
But I lost it, too, learning a costly lesson,
Handhelds don’t belong at the foot of heavy bags.
And the worst blow of all came at this year’s E3,
When I took my 3DS to the land of L.A.,
Not three months old, shiny and new,
But in that hellish city it will stay.
Because some asshole thought it’d be fun
To steal my precious, magnificent toy,
I sit here at home, brooding alone,
Lamenting the culprit’s villainous ploy.
So treasure your handhelds,
And keep them close to your heart,
You never know when fate will strike,
And conspire to tear you apart.
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