DAILY MANIFESTO

Our 100th Haiku Fridays!

Posted on Friday, July 22 @ 23:09:59 Eastern by Daniel Bischoff

No, no, no. Do we look like we go around with Benjamins in our pockets? Here, you want to know what's in my wallet? F***ing wine bottle labels. I'm like the guy from Catch Me If You Can. Ah-bag-nay-lee? Is that how you say his name? Sh**.

Look, that's not what I'm here to discuss. Sliverstorm pointed out to me yesterday that today is our ONE HUNDREDTH Haiku Fridays. Wow! We've had some turnover, we've made some changes, but ultimately, people still show up for free stuff. Yes, yes, we know that's why you're here. We've long known why our traffic spikes on Fridays. We've been trying to spread it out and get you folks to visit again after the weekend is over... you know, maybe see what's up with video games again. Frankly, we keep giving out prizes to the best haikus because we love poetry.

As much as I'd like to announce that GameRevolution was making the switch to an all haiku website, complete with haiku reviews, previews, news, and haiku tradeshow coverage, that's not the case. We'll keep delivering you all of the latest information on video games, as well as critical, unbiased reviews and to-the-point previews. Whether you visit for the free stuff or not.

That said, let's get on to the matter at hand. Because this marks a very special Haiku Fridays, we've got a special prize worked up for you dear readers. The grand prize will remain a mystery until a winner has been decided. Just know that it's awesome.

I did say grand prize for a reason. We'll be choosing three runners-up for slightly less ostentatious prizes. They will also, nonetheless, be awesome. Here's the catch: you'll be choosing the winner!

Thus, your mission, should you choose to write a poem about video games, is to write a haiku about a video game character. ANY video game character. Slap that baby down in the comments section and be back here on Monday to see if you made the cut and to vote on the finalists!

TL;DR

We've hit our 100th Haiku Fridays contests!
Four haiku writers will win this week!
We'll post four finalists on Monday, and readers will choose the grand prize winner of those four!
Write a haiku about any video game character...
WIN STUFF!

Got it? Please only write one haiku! If you write more than one, we'll hate you! I can't say that'll help your chances.... With so much winning to be done, I couldn't possibly restrain your creativity.

Tags: Haiku Fridays

Comments

De-Ting
Joined: Nov 2006

Posted: Jul 22nd, 2011 at 11:39 pm
Sackboy, full of fluff.
Slaps like boss and blows stuff up.
Love that powder puff...

0 0

Insomniac_24_7
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 22nd, 2011 at 11:42 pm
Get killed in HALO.
Your body lies on the ground.
What do you see? Crotch.

0 0

cyberjim2000
Joined: Feb 2010

Posted: Jul 22nd, 2011 at 11:48 pm
Capcom's Megaman
The end of a great era
but you will return

0 0

Comment hidden due to low quality. Show Comment.

LookInToMyEyees
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 22nd, 2011 at 11:58 pm
I want to **** you
Me and that fat ass in bed
Chloe, your my dream.

--
Chris
Twitter: LookInToMyEyees

11 4

Comment hidden due to low quality. Show Comment.

LookInToMyEyees
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 3:25 pm
Rewrote my Haiku
Dirty version:

I have had a dream
To f*ck Chloe in the ass
Oh boy, what a dream

Clean version
I have had a dream
To Smash Chloe in the Butt
Oh boy, what a dream

I have had a dream
To f*ck Chloe in the ass
Oh boy, what a dream

--
Chris

7 2

danielrbischoff
Joined: Nov 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Absolutely none of these were clean!

0 2

tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 12:04 am
Ragnar Lodbrok King
Viking Civilization
Just… one… more… turn…Please!

(Sid Meier’s Civilization IV: Beyond the sword)

3 2

tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 12:10 am
Btw who won the 99th Haiku Friday?

P.S. I wrote more than one Haiku, but I’m sharing them with you.

1 1

danielrbischoff
Joined: Nov 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:16 am
I'll be harassing Anthony for an answer to that on Monday as well.

1 1

MaXXine
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 7:07 pm
May the direct descendant of Odin bring you luck!

0 1

tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Gee, thanks, but this one’s not my best work.

0 1

Klandathu
Joined: Apr 2008

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 12:05 am
L-shaped Tetris block,
Lets count the times you've screwed me...
I'm sure it's a lot.

0 1

mowmow
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 12:17 am
Celes the Rune Knight
Conflicted by loyalty
Locke will protect her

0 0

Crackman
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 12:18 am
Yoshi, Fling your eggs
rescue bubble Mario
SHUT THAT BABY UP

0 0

Crackman
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 12:31 am
Yoshi, Fling your eggs
rescue bubble Mario
SHUT THAT BABY UP

0 0

sl33pythyme
Joined: Apr 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 1:10 am
This line is too small
This line picked up a mushroom
Damn hit a Goomba

0 0

acdibble
Joined: Jul 2007

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 2:02 am
Banjo-Kazooie
What a pair you two do make
Foil Grunty’s plot

Banjo, don’t forget:
She kidnapped your sis’, Tooty
And all those Jinjos

Oh and after that
She killed your buddy, Bottles
That was a dick move

Oh, Mumbo Jumbo
Humba Wumba was better
I still like you more

Nuts and bolts and wrench
No flying without machines
Maybe not next time?

Silly Stop ‘N’ swap
What a fiasco that was
At least it works now

Oh Banjo, Banjo!
Where will we see you next time?
Only time will tell

If we are only allowed a single stanza then the first one will suffice. Also, maybe an "Iambic Pentameter Monday" thing should start to get Mondays to have more traffic.

6 3

213EDD
Joined: Sep 2007

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 4:11 am
^ This guy.

0 0

Tyrranis
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 4:53 am
Yes, you were renamed
We still have respect for you
Miss Tali'Zorah

0 0

SweetHat
Joined: May 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 7:47 am
Long have i waited
Long have i been a STRANGER
"Steef dude" will free all

0 0

Mistaza
Joined: Oct 2007

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:13 am
He's stronger than steel
and faster than a whirlwind
For he's Shinobi...

0 0

Bretimus_v2
Joined: Jan 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:18 am
I'm in the shadows
I'm snatching up your people
I am...Snake, SNAKE SNAAAAAAAAAAKEEEE!!!!

0 1

Bretimus_v2
Joined: Jan 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:18 am
I'm in the shadows
I'm snatching up your people
I am...Snake, SNAKE SNAAAAAAAAAAKEEEE!!!!

0 0

Bretimus_v2
Joined: Jan 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:19 am
Oh, cool...double post. Sorry.

0 0

DarkPaladinX
Joined: Mar 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:30 am
The black mage pwns all
After all, once you go black-
S**t! Out of MP!

0 1

JunkyArd
Joined: Aug 2006

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:45 am
I closed shut the jaws
of OBLIVION! and then
died to a MUDCRAB.

0 1

usaglory
Joined: Mar 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:47 am
Millionaire by day
Grim avenger of the night
I am the Batman

0 1

SweetHat
Joined: May 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 12:49 pm
i am the bat *serious hank venture voice* *cuts tounge by sticking it thru hole in mask*

0 1

Masterwabbit
Joined: Mar 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:48 am
Saving the princess!
Peach Says "Thank you Mario!"
But I'm Luigi...

0 0

LinksOcarina
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 10:02 am
Hey! Listen! Listen!
Hey! Smack! That should stop you now
you annoying sprite!

1 1

TheNesMan
Joined: Nov 2003

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 10:03 am
Just a small farm boy
Living in the South Hyrule
Took horse anywhere

0 2

MaXXine
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 7:14 pm
I see what you did there!

Just a Deku Girl
Living in a lonely tree
Took horse anywhere

0 3

TheNesMan
Joined: Nov 2003

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 11:38 am
ACADEMIC DISHONESTY!!!!!!

2 0

MaXXine
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 2:29 pm
Now I'm disappointed in you! I thought you'd go on with the second verse. You know, the part where things go "on and on and on and on". I guess I have to stop believing after all! ;P

0 1

vysevutlaw
Joined: Jul 2006

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 10:25 am
Moonstones and airships
Islands floating in the sky
Vyse, im a pirate

0 0

Rinnon
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 11:38 am
I don't know... I just
Feel safe here. Like I was meant
To be in this box.

0 0

warmaster670
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 11:44 am
Hey there Claire Redfield.
I love your actor
Big Comfy Couch go!

0 0

Merlin
Joined: Oct 2005

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 11:48 am
I dream Kirby dreams.
Creamy puff float through darkness.
Taste you as I wake.

0 0

MaXXine
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Battered just for fun
You were the first of them all
I'm sorry Pong ball

2 3

tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 6:50 pm
@MaXXine: I’m a fan of your work. Your last winner could have worked here too.

0 2

MaXXine
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Thank you! ^.~*

0 1

TurinAlexander
Joined: Sep 2006

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 3:11 pm
The courier lived
Crossing the desert wasteland
War never changes

1 2

danielrbischoff
Joined: Nov 2009

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 8:19 pm
I've heard some new things in war that I think you're gonna like....

0 1

UghRochester
Joined: Jun 2006

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Character in mind?
I ruined Anthony's poem.
I will not enter.

0 0

Squiggy
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 7:31 pm
O, my weighted cube,
Even if her words are lies...
you are forever.

0 2

drathbone
Joined: May 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Pissed about Krueger
Why? WHY? Might as well have been
Hannah Montana

0 1

spanky1113
Joined: Mar 2008

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 10:18 pm
My Dearest Princess,
When will you return my love?
Love always, Bowser.

0 3

drathbone
Joined: May 2011

Posted: Jul 23rd, 2011 at 10:34 pm
Sonic, you were cool
A long time ago. Alas!
You are dead to me

0 0

CherryRasulka
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Litter box not here
You must have moved it again
Your shoe will do

1 1

CherryRasulka
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 12:16 pm
@CherryRasulka - Twitter

0 0

TheJx4
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 12:22 pm
Ninety nine problems
believe a Haiku ain't one
Hundred Fridays Strong

0 0

seesaw24
Joined: May 2009

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Commentary: Wow
Meatbags are writing Haikus
I should blast you all

0 0

liljrSanchez
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Haiku about Okami

Amaterasu
Timeless hero of the brush
Save the day, paint wolf!

0 0

klg
Joined: Sep 2006

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 6:16 pm
I remember when,
you tested me, and you died...
that was fun GLaDOS

0 0

koedyburkel
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 7:57 pm
You've been deceived
You have pressed your luck Drake
You will pay the price

Nathan Drake // Uncharted Series
twitter: koedyb

2 2

sliverstorm
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Crowbar foes I roused,
herded by a smirking suit.
A Free man? Can't say.

0 0

koedyburkel
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 8:16 pm
You've been deceived
You have pressed your luck Drake
You will pay the price

Nathan Drake // Uncharted Series
twitter: koedyb

0 1

drathbone
Joined: May 2011

Posted: Jul 24th, 2011 at 9:11 pm
Deep below the sea
Searching for little sisters
Blood? "Would you kindly"

0 0

used44
Joined: Mar 2002

Posted: Jul 25th, 2011 at 12:59 am
Hey there's Morrigan
She's a witch who is *****y
We will bone later

0 0

BlazeJLM
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Jul 25th, 2011 at 10:12 am
YES! I've killed Jean Grey!
NO! Didn't see she had 5 bars!
Shit. Now I am dead.

0 0

Sammo
Joined: Oct 2005

Posted: Jul 25th, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Got that Ph.D.
but what got me with Alyx
is the pimp goatee.

0 2