Please Don't Sign The Petition For Reggie's Inclusion In Smash Bros.
Posted on Tuesday, July 30 @ 12:15:00 Eastern by Daniel Bischoff
[Jump ahead to 0:53 for Reggie's thoughts on being included in Super Smash Bros.]
While over 9000 signatures have already been gathered for this Change.org petition, I urge the gaming community to refrain from this nonsensical drive to include Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime in the next Super Smash Bros for 3DS and Wii U.
I know I've established myself as a Nintendo fanboy and you might expect me to lead the charge to bring Reggie "My body is ready" Fils-Aime to the next Smash Bros. roster, but the fact remains that Reggie's inclusion as a playable character would completely destroy any sense of balance in the upcoming title's furious fighting gameplay.
Just last week I wrote about how Super Smash Bros. will no longer suffer a story mode to focus on balanced multiplayer across two platforms, but any grasp at legitimacy will be ruined should Masahiro Sakurai allow Reggie to kick ass and take names in a game his own company made.
Certainly Nintendo Direct has given the company's top brass a podium and stage to make caricatures of themselves. Reggie rolled around in a bed with his own face on it for the enjoyment of Animal Crossing fans and Reggie fan-fiction authors everywhere. How about that time Shigeru Miyamoto tried to vacuum up Satoru Iwata? Still, a fun and di-rect marketing channel doesn't prepare you for combat, not that Reggie needs any preparation.
Bottom line: Reggie would be way too overpowered. His body is always ready. He says words like "ass." His intro montage would be a birthing video. It just wouldn't feel right.
And imagine when the Smash Bros. community inevitably finds game-breaking exploits within Reggie's moveset. He could cause massive damage with an un-wrist-strapped Wiimote throw or smash-attack opponents with the sharp corners of a GameCube. He could bust out an NES control pad and strangle the opponent with the chord. He could could crush Mario with his wallet (because we know the plumber hands over every coin for executive bonuses). How's a mega-buster wielding opponent ever going to stand up to that kind of abuse?
Please, don't sign the Change.org petition requesting Reggie's inclusion in Smash Bros.
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